Dubai: True Story - Sir Please Help Me

November 4, 2008


[Picture for illustration purpose only]
Jack was sitting in his new office, after being appointed as General Manger in this huge garment factory in Dubai, having over 200 staff at his disposal and a fat salary to boast of. Office was posh, in the best location and building. As he was taking pride in his new position, the first priority of his entire 25 years' career  was development of sales and revenue and the  figure shown in the budget, laid in front of him made him even happier, for he knew exceeding the budget means bonus of huge amount. A naughty smile brightened his face, for he knew the figures given were easily achievable. 
From the sales staff list, a name impressed him. He had seen him once earlier. He was Rohit, thirty years of age, handsome, well-dressed, graduate and having a very impressive sales record in the past. This is the person that I wanted and I got him, said Jack to himself. Rohit would be the best amongst the 8 sales staff that I have, he said to himself.  He knew that with Rohit in his disposal, getting fat bonus wouldn't be a problem. This very thought of heavy bonus made him still happier.
Chapter 1
Eights months have passed since the year commenced and Jack took over the charge of the new company. He was terrified to look on the figures of revenue that was submitted to him. Eight months on, he has not even achieved 75 percent of the target and at this rate; even his job could be at stake. What is wrong?  A look on sales report, personnel-wise told him the story that he hated to believe since past 8 months. While all other sales personnel have achieved the target between 80 to 100 percent, our hero Rohit is showing a dismal figure of 15 percent. Not possible said Jack, especially knowing fully well his past impressive performance. At this rate Rohit must be sacked immediately. But should he? May be I have to give him a chance he said, and called him for a one-to-one meeting, which is not a normal thing that Jack used to do  according to his own principals set. Below is the conversation that followed:
Rohit, do you know why I have called you?

Yes sir, but do not worry sir, my performance will improve.

When? After one of us are terminated or may be both, and besides this is what you are saying since past 8 months………..How can I trust you?

No sir, I have that Empire Business / Market solicitation coming shortly.

Not Good enough Rohit, you need to give me something I can trust.

Silence from Rohit's side.

Rohit, is something wrong? Is all Ok with your family, parents home etc,?

Tears rolled out from Rohit and he said, Sir, mine was love marriage.

So what?  Most of the people now go for Love marriage?

She is Christian and I am Hindu sir.

So what, both of you are matured and have taken a decision, and now you have two beautiful kids and such a good job, what more you want.?

No sir, since our marriage, our parents have thrown me out of the house, and me being their only son, they are so angry with us. Now my wife does not even allow my children to be taken to my parents even for blessings. My life is ruined sir……. (More tears).
So there lies the problem. Emotional and personal issues have made Rohit non-performer. This is none of my business he said to himself..

However his human values got better of him and he said:
Rohit, you are young, your and your family future is on your shoulders. Have you gone for counseling???

She is refusing sir. She is getting angry with me for everything. She is qualified and not even ready to work.

So what Rohit, I know many of women are working, but many also stay at home and take  good care of home, children etc. What is wrong in that, besides you are earning well……

No sir, she is not even doing the basics of the children, In fact I have to do it when I return and even cooking at home and cleaning the house, and that is why I come late to the office often……

Rohit, I can only think of suggesting a counselling.

Sir, can I ask you some thing else


Can you tell me how to pray?

This was a shocker to Jack  He never thought he was religious, born Christian, his religious activity was restricted to Mass on Sunday at local Church. That's it. Here is a person asking him, how to pray. Very funny or is it? May be I can guide him, may be it will help him, let me try.
Rohit, prayer is something between your heart and your God, Personally I do not know how to explain this. However since you have asked, have you heard God's prayer, Our Father Who Art in Heaven……….??
Yes sir, since I have baptized my sons on my wife's insistence I have heard of it.

Look Rohit, you can say any prayer you want and it is not restricted, however if you do not get any idea, then try "Our Father……., in any case this prayer is beyond any religion since is not addressed to any one but God.

Yes sir. And thank you.
Chapter 2
Jack was really impressed with the following months sales figure report of Rohit. He has performed almost 75 percent of his budget for the month, which is remarkable achievement indeed as compared to 15 percent of earlier months. However following remarks in the finance statement on Rohit disturbed him:
He has not collected the money due, certain customer called and complained regarding his rude behavior, procedures that need to be observed to get any business are not followed, not visiting the customers even after promise, not even calling and giving valid reason etc.
Frightening remarks indeed for any General Manager to take note. This is an open invitation for disaster. Jack started to write a memo to Rohit, warning letter to be issued prior termination can be effected.
Dear Rohit… as he started to write, again the human nature of Jack came in between. As he was junior manager earlier, his then manger had warned him, never to involve in emotional aspect of any staff. Jack remembered this well. However increase of budgeted figure from 15 to 75 percent and his own fat bonus again came to his mind. Let me have second meeting with Rohit and then decide, he thought and arranged another meeting with Rohit:
Rohit, while I know that you have done very well in sales since our last meeting……..

Thank you sir, Rohit cut him abruptly, prayers that you suggested seems to be working

Not that Rohit, but the remarks that follow are more dangerous since you are putting our company's interest in jeopardy.

Sir, I am sorry, I will follow it up

When? After my burial, now what more reasons you have to give me

Silence followed and tears followed indicating that something is wrong.
Jack told to himself, NO, I am not going to fall in the trap this time around. On second thought, the tears falling from one of the finest staff, made him to continue the discussion
Listen Rohit, it is sure I am missing something. I feel that since even your parents are not speaking you, you have no one to listen to. If it
helps, you can tell me, and if possible I will try to guide

Sir, last time I did not tell you the entire story.
WHAT? You are living with that lady without marriage and also have kids??

No sir.

Then what?

She is 8 years older to me.

WHAT? But it is OK, you were 25 and she was 33, and since yours is love marriage I do not see any problem in that.

 Sir, she was married earlier and had a kid from her first marriage.

What……. What……… you are living with a married lady??????

No sir, she is a widow, I must have explained this before, will you listen to me for five minutes……


While I was working in the other company six years before, I had this meeting with a customer and that meeting was formal, in a restaurant and that time, his wife and kid was with him and hence the introduction was made. After the meeting, customer told me that he will give me the business. But since he was going to India the same night with his family and would return after 15 days, we were to meet him then and start new business. Meeting ended at that note. Following day first call I got was from a friend in India to say, there was a terrible accident while this couple was departing from Indian airport, and both customer and kid died on the spot, and lady was critically injured and admitted to the hospital. She continued to be there for two months, but recovered only to know that she will not see her husband and child ever again.

After few months she returned to Dubai and I met her to offer condolence. She was alone and our meeting increased and relationship reached to the extent that one day she told me she is on her family way. Doctors in India had told her that she will never conceive ever again due to the injuries she had got during the accident and for me, the news that she was carrying a baby was good omen. At that instance I decided to marry. I am the only child of my parents and hence my decision shocked them. Imagine marrying a widow, who had a child, 8 years older than me and from different religion. My parents could not accept that.  They threw me out of the house. Since it is difficult to marry in Dubai under the circumstances, we went to India and got married.
Everything was fine in the first year, and then she got those moods and even started remembering earlier life with previous husband and child and even started to compare each action, even the intimate one. She does not want to work in the office or home, do not want to take care of children. She wants the best of amenities and facilities always.

Even my complete salary was not enough and I am broke every month by third week, and as days passed her behavior towards me became violent to the extent that I decided to divorce. But who will help Me.?  What will happen to my small children who were tortured by her so that I will get hurt. Just to come out of the situation, even though it was beyond my means, I brought a maid from India, and my wife abused her so much that she ran to the Embassy in the second month of her arrival and complained and as head of the family I was called and issued a warning and had to repatriate this lady bearing all expenses on the same day.
Jack was about to faint, but the story continued. Story continued..
Amidst all this, I was doing my best on concentrating on my job and contributing my best. But all of a sudden, in the last week, she said that she will take kids and go to India. Do you remember you asked me what the scar on my face was? The scar was owing to the slap she gave me when I was trying to convince her to stay back. Now she is not there and I do not know when she has left home. (When I returned home a couple of days ago, she and kids were just not there).

For me the children are so important. It is already two days since she has left. I do not know what to do. I do not have any woman in my life and I loved only my wife. But I am not able to fathom as why she behaved this way with me and abandoned me.  How can anyone compare the previous marriage incidents to our present life? For the last two nights, I am going to the nearby beach after my office hours. The ever raging sea looks so tempting, so inviting. Both these days, I wanted to be the part of turbulent waves since nothing is left for me in this life. But just before jumping into the sea, I remembered you and said "Our Father..." Immediately, my temptations fled and I remembered the sweet little faces of my children. Now I want to live at least for their sake. But I do not know what to do. 'Sir Please Help Me...

Jack really had to drink two glasses of water and wished he was at home, where he could have finished one bottle of Chivas Regal or Jack Daniel, (never mind the brand), so he can gain his senses. However the fact that this young man who has got so much to look for in life, who has got a career, who is having entire family but no one to talk to was agonizing. No I cannot allow this to happen. Why did I not listen to the advise of my Senior Manger and got into the personal life of staff? It is my entire mistake. However he said:
Rohit, life is given by God as a great gift and now you have two God's gifts (children) and He will show you the way how to come out of it. Only, what you said should be truthful and I will find the way. Go do your job well. In the next three months concentrate and achieve your budget and rest all I will take care…….

Yes Sir, I know only you can help me at the moment
And Rohit left leaving Mr. Jack to ponder over how I can help this person, Oh God! How can I help this person...

'God Please Help Me...'
Vivian Castelino writes:

Dear readers, conclusion, hopefully a positive one, by God's grace, is in your hands.  Any one of you, most probably a counsellor, probably can analyze the accurate problem and hopefully give a suitable solution to this problem which can help save a life and may be a family.  Your solutions may also help other readers who are dogged down by similar problems. Thank you 


Also read - another True Story...

Vivian Castelino -Puttur / Dubai
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Comment on this article

  • Rita, Germany

    Mon, Mar 31 2014

    Hope I am not too late here.As my experience I find this Lady is doing such things not willingly.It must be the result of her injury that happened.The Center in the brain that must have had a serious injury.Only, one must have Patience and try to do a head x-ray or brain ct (Computer tomography)which may Show the damage.even psychological therapy would and will help.sometimes some People get cured when by Chance another attach of head injury happens.Sorry not induced.and not always.her husband should take care of her and concentrate of the children who Need more Attention now than before because they will be getting her attacks to feel .Wish all the best.

  • Fathima, Mangalore

    Sun, Sep 19 2010

    Thanks for this article.. this saved my relationship which was almost broken..After reading this i asked sorry whith my boy friend and my eyes rolled with tears.. We girls never understand our guys who really loves us n care for us.. They try their best to give all we want and wen they dont suceed we girls end up fighting and screw their happiness and this tension they take it to their office and it effects their performance and at the end because of us they need to again listen to the shoutings of their managers coz of their bad performance that month.. The best way to keep our relationship happy is we should trust and believe each other.. Then only we can be happy, but in todays life guess all these r missing wr most of the realtionship ends up fighting n thn...

  • Emi, Mangalore/Dubai

    Sun, Nov 08 2009

    Read this story today only.. Its a year now, If Rohit is in same situation still, I want to be his moral support.. I want to his courage.. Pls send me an email about his present situation and contact details... Thanks & God Bless

  • Ronald, Mangalore

    Sun, Nov 09 2008

    There are 3 important stages in life where in if not carefully guided the life can go in pain. (a). Early life education: Education is very important. If you did not do well enough at school or never went to school then you would regret it later. (b) Drugs addition at young age: be careful not to get addicted to drugs. Never let it take control of you or else you will regret it. (c)Marriage: However good and well educated you are, if your wife is not obedient / loving / caring to you then your happiness is screwed depending on her behaviour. Her behaviour will have direct impact on you. It is not just limited to above 3 but if you have not taken good care of your kids, not made them God fearing, not thought them good values then one day they might also screw your happiness!. After all life is like that you need to be careful at every stage of life. When things go wrong in life then ending life is totally foolish. You will not achieve anything by ending life.

    Who knows? God might get angry on you for not able to face the challenges he has given you and he might throw you into hell. So never ever think of ending life for what ever reason it may be. Face the challenges in life and overcome them. Pray to Lord Jesus Christ and ask him to help you. I am 100% sure he will answer your prayer.

    I myself being mentally a very weak man I have faced problems in my life. Sorry but I cannot write my story here now but Jesus has helped me to overcome the grief. You need to have strong faith in him. When you are in pain, read and understand his sufferings from garden of Gethsemane. It will give you courage. Grow spiritually very strong and become close to Jesus. He will guide you in your life. God belss you.

  • Prema, udyawara

    Sun, Nov 09 2008

    Dear rohit, be like man you have to bold enough to face reality. god bless u

  • Maurice Menezes, RAK

    Sun, Nov 09 2008

    We reap what we sow.In a single encounter with a customer/family, Rohit later developed sexual intimacy with the widow before marriage,hence wrath of God is the cause of suffering.Rohit should open a new chapter in his life.

  • anthony, mangalore

    Sat, Nov 08 2008

    There are three sides to every story.your side,my side and finally the true side.

  • Noel Frank, Mangalore/KSA

    Fri, Nov 07 2008

    Leslie Fernandes, Mumbai, India. You are not only very ignorant to say catholic christian especialy manglorean girls,dont have fear of God in them, based on a unsupported one sided story,but know nothing about mangalorean girls in the form of nuns-teachers-nurses-doctors-social activists-councellors to name a few are doing great work for the society.

    This they are doing not out fear of God, but out of LOVE of God. Again you are wrong to say- Word of God says women are weaker vessel so do we men have to be patient and pray for them. You have understood it wrong. No religion or God says women are weeker, In fact women are more stronger and capable than men in general. That is the main reason why men like you are trying to control women out of fear of loosing out on them

  • S.M. Nawaz kukkikatte, udupi

    Thu, Nov 06 2008

    TRUST with GOD is very important solution but here I want to say Rohith Parents should know  his life career and problems ( GOOD LUCK PARENTS HAVE SUCH KIND OF SON ). whatver incidents hapend in his life its natural.... GOD only gives and solvessd the problem.  Our aim is TRUST.

  • Leslie Fernandes, Mumbai, India

    Thu, Nov 06 2008

    I can only say today the catholic christian especialy manglorean girls,dont have fear of God in them, they always do as they please & think they are right and authorised . But Word of God says women are weaker vessel so do we men have to be patience and pray for them, God Bless.

  • Raphael D'Souza, Pangla/London

    Thu, Nov 06 2008

    Dear Mr V Castalino, your employee’s story is really interesting and heartening. Hats off to you for listening to your employee’s personal problems especially in a country where employees’ welfare is last in the list of priorities of the management. If you are really his GM and want to help Mr Rohit, then I feel you have missed other part of the story.

    If I were you, I would meet Mrs Rohit and find out her part of the story. She would not take the children with her if she did not care and love the children. Secondly, if she has some emotional or mental problems then it advisable for you, friends and relatives give maximum support to Mr & Mrs Rohit. If she is really bad as narrated by you, then please advise Rohit to foget about her as there are many women who need love and care. On the other hand, if you find Rohit was hiding important facts, please fire him immediately and ask him to buy his own ticket back home.

  • Nithin, mangalore

    Thu, Nov 06 2008

    I this this dude needs some counselling. Marriage is an adjustment as well as this is a one sided story. I was amazed as some were asking him to pray to Jesus and keep the faith, will this really help .. He needs to get on his own to and move on from infatuation and get a life.

  • Priya Das, Karkala / Mumbai

    Thu, Nov 06 2008

    I can imagine how difficult it is for Rohit to bear his cross like this. Also, I have come across many people like this lady. They are so arrogant that, they do not want to listen to anyone. They will do according to their wishes and alongwith their life they will ruin others life also.

    They will not go for counselling also. So my opinion is that we all must pray to God to change her mind to go back to her husband and lead a good life and become a loving, caring mother to her lovely children and loving wife to Rohit. Rohit your life will shine and we all pray for you. KEEP FAITH IN GOD

  • steven, Mangalore

    Wed, Nov 05 2008

    Even if you drink little poision it is a poison. Now you need a Saviour,Doctor,Miracle and much more PEACE which this world will not know to give

  • Janaki Devi, Mangalore- Kankandy /Dubai/

    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    my dear Rohit, Consoling anybody is fine and very good,"God consoles you in return" why jump into some well, when you don't know, how deep it is, and what is in the well. You should have thought about yourself, where you are heading, brainless you !

  • juliana, udupi

    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    Religion is not the separating factor since it was not considered during marriage. There must be some difference of opinion which keeps both away from each other. More over hot drinks donot keep company with families since it makes the mind stubborn and reasoning power less.

  • Michael D' Souza, mangalore

    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    Rohit,from what I read your story, it looks like story of a lady, are you man enough? men are supposed to be incharge and you sound like one of those who wants to run away. Remember if any wife come to know any weak point of a man, she is going to use it as long as it works, in your case your kids. You have to accept the fact that if die, this world will not stop, so be behave like a man, if required get yourself a councellor, find another woman and move in life, stop ping these tears like a kid, you are a big kid now.

  • Walter Saldanha, mangalore, India

    Wed, Nov 05 2008

    Rohit, you are feeling terrible, and helpless. You feel that you have lost everything. Your parents have abandoned you, your wife has deserted you with your lovely kids. I can understand that. You are undergoing a terrible situation. This hopeless situation gives you thoughts to end your life. Already that lady has punished you, made your life miserable, slapped you, abandoned you. This is a terrible punishment. Do you want more punishment? Of course your situation is terrible, but by ending your life whom are you punishing? Are you not punishing yourself? What makes you to punish yourself? Is it your wife's behaviour?

    Exactly what do you intend by ending your life? DO you know exactly what are you going to achieve by finishing yourself? Do you feel that you are going to get back your wife and kids by doing that? Will you be ever able to meet your kids if you are not alive? Tell me by doing this is your wife going to change her behaviour? First of all Rohit, be alive then only you can think of doing anything. Do not think that you will have a second life, so you want to finish the first. So, first of all don't you think that you need to put aside the thought of self immolation, because you will be the loser? Just try to reflect on the following questions. Rohit do you think that yours is the worst case, and what you are undergoing, no husband has undergone? By any means do you feel that you were compared to the first husband? When was it? Was it when you had a fight between you or when you were happy? When she was angry depressed what else can you expect? Was it hurting your ego and how did you react to her? Do you understand the feelings of the Lady who lost her first husband and kid in such a shocking tragedy? What must be going on in her mind?

    Don't you think that she has to come out of her sorrow? Of course Rohit you know her better, so you understand her better than any one else. Keep yourself in her shoes and start thinking in her place. As it is narrated, what could be picked up is she needed companionship, empathy understanding, emotional, physical security which you did extend but it transformed into close intimacy, resulted into marriage, maybe she was not prepared for it. Just try to see the things from her point of view, at least for once. Don't you think that you need to see a good counsellor and then you might perceive the things in a different way? It is not worth to end one's life for somebody's hurting behavior. Human Life is precious, nothing can replace it. All the best. There may be many like Rohit, boys/girls, men or women, with the thoughts of self immolation, need to rethink and reprogram their lives. Life is worth living.

  • roveena, attur karkal/dubai

    Wed, Nov 05 2008

    Sad to read the story of rohit. Pls help rohit to come out of this agony. Jesus Christ said who ever done to the least of my brothers that they hv done unto me. Rohit please keep faith in GOD and pray daily he can do wonders in this world.Thanks daiji for bringing out such a lovely article.I hope there might be many undergoing the same agony. Almighty GOD please bless them.

  • Cynthia Miranda, Mangalore

    Wed, Nov 05 2008

    "Those who joyfully leave everything in God's Hand will eventually see God's Hand in everything" Worry ends where faith begins.. When we are confused in life, only prayers can do wonders. Keep faith in God and pray..

  • James D'Souza, Mangalkore/USA

    Wed, Nov 05 2008

    Dear V.C., If you really want to help Rohit the best thing to do is try to find the lady/wife and kids. The lady need real psyschiatric treatment and the children need to be away from her for a while, either with the father or the understanding grandparents(either)with some trusted supervision from a third party and Rohit definitely need counselling and prayers. Nothing is impossible with prayers. God bless you and your efforts if you are willing to go to that extra mile , is my honest opinion and advice. God bless you and protect this family of innocent children.

  • Antony T. D' Souza, Karkala, Qatar

    Wed, Nov 05 2008

    For such sensitive cases firstly, you should not seek public advise over the internet nor any publicity for the case which will harm and confuse you. Because in case if she comes to know this she will grow more stubborn hence no point of return. She might have psychologically affected by sudden death of her husband and child and added emotional instability carrying a new baby too. Before marrying you should have taken to her counseling knowing what all depression she was undergoing.

    May be all of a sudden life became mess and unbearable to her i.e., your parental treatment, your careless attitude for the job, perhaps your heavy drinks and late night arrival, your failure to understand her emotions, family disputes, financial instability worsened her hope in you and could have decided and preferred lonely life for some time. To get your peace, try to forgive and ask her forgiveness wherever you have offended to her.

    Don’t say no. There should be 50-50% both of you responsible for break up of your marriage. You are the head of family, you must take initiative now. If that fails try to approach her through her reliable friends who never spread gossip about both of you. This will take you to positive sense of your life. Do not go for heavy drinks it will ruin completely what you are going to start. Your own earnest tearful prayer which is from your heart (and not from Jack’s heart) will bear fruit. Because God is the living God and he will break you further when you are already completely broken. As a caring FATHER, He will listen to your sincere prayers and He will unite both of you to love one another along with your children. Never give the hope.

    Whatever impossible for man it possible with God. In conclusion, it is not easy and not good to give any suggestions upon hearing only the first party. Yet it might help you and we will pray for you too. Reply and keep in touch which is very much essential to lighten your burden. Rohit, God Love you and your Family. Believe and put your trust in Him totally.

  • Smitha, Belgaum

    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    This is a true story, happening every day to NRI's - they are being treated like money lenders for poor parents who only want to either get their daughters married off quickly or want to get rid of their loans and burdens in life and when they are suitably successful in this venture they call the daughter back to India. Thank you Vivian for bringing out this story about educated people who don't want to work, but want a luxury life and vacation while the 25 year old male servant struggles for no fault of his other than being an NRI.

  • Noel Frank, Mangalore/KSA

    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    As Nelson and Joseph F. Gonsalves rightly pointed out this is just one side of the story, Besides these are common and everyday happenings.

  • Raymond D'Souza, Mangalore/Bangalore

    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    Such cases need not be discussed on this column. If discussed it would be one sided hearing. This has nothing to do with religion. Only thing possible is go to the court of law.


    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    Hi v.v, nice to true story. 1st of all we all pray for this family. God is there,dont leave faith on him. Rohit keep on telling "JESUS I HAVE FAITH IN YOU".

  • joel, kinnigoli

    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    My brother Rohit, Y u dnt gve me ur mail id that i can speak 2 would be good if you pass ur no as well.u can mail my mail id.its Il tel u somethng whch will change ur life.thnx

  • Joseph F. Gonsalves , Bannur Puttur/Mangalore

    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    The article says from one side story. What about his wife’s opinion about her husband without which commenting will not be possible. Now my comment to one sided story is “If a person has money love comes from the door, if not love flies through the window” or else she may be comfortable/lavishly with previous deceased husband.

  • Nelson, Kuwait

    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    With this lady's behaviour what I feel is that she is a victim of depression and need immediate treatment. I hope with the proper treatment she will be ok within six months time. Rohit I can understand your situation, do not loose faith in god. As you have given her a new life, im sure she will come back to you with your kids. We will pray for you.

  • Ameen, UAE

    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    I think we should listen to the lady as well since we should not come to any conclusion with looking one side of the coin

  • Prashanth, Mangalore

    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:16)

  • Nancy, Mumbai

    Tue, Nov 04 2008

    I have come across many people like this lady. They are so arrogant that, they do not want to listen to anyone. They will do according to their wishes and alongwith their life they will ruin others life also. They will not go for councelling also. So my opinion is that we all must pray to God to change her mind to go back to her husband and lead a good life and become a loving, caring mother to her lovely children and loving wife to Rohit. Rohit your life will shine and we all pray for you. KEEP FAITH IN GOD.

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Title: Dubai: True Story - Sir Please Help Me

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