Marriages - from Convention to Convenience

Aug 1, 2010
When I was a kid, I remember dad teasing me with the song ”Bara soron thera lagli ge mai, kazar kar ge maka”. One thing which we can observe in the this verse is the age of the bride. Bara saron thera! That is, I am past twelve and I am thirteen, so get me married. This was true. Girls used to be betrothed at the age twelve and thirteen.

While seeking an alliance ‘Kulli’ or caste played a mighty big role. Brahmins would never marry a girl or a boy from lower strata. Earlier the groom had to be elder than the bride. This was so that the husband wouldn’t lose attraction in his wife and wife looked younger when the husband reached his midlife. Today if the bride is elder to the groom it doesn’t matter. Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwarya Rai are an example. Kannada film actress Jayanthi married a male half her age long back. Well, maybe this was an exception. Today the accepted age of marriage has escalated to almost 26 to 30. Certain degrees need that kind of time to settle. Today’s modern women want to touch the skies, fly like a free bird, enjoy their professional life and then find a suitable life partner of their preference and then enter wedlock.
In earlier times the ‘match maker’ played a pivotal role. He was greatly respected in the society but not anymore. But then, he would gain good commission from both the parties. This was known as ‘Rusum’. He used to be very smart and he would initiate the process with these words, “amger ek padko vadon podla, thoxenx thumger ek paadki vadon podlya munnon aikolam. Thaanka dogaynki eka gotyanth bangyangi munn vicharche kotir tumger aiylyavn”. This is mentioned in V D’Silva’s book ‘Adlin Kazaraam’. While seeking the proposal only two persons would visit the girl’s house, boy’s father and the match maker. If the proposal was approved then only the groom would visit the bride’s house. The bride-to-be would serve jaggery and water to the guest and then would go inside the house. She was only allowed to peep either from the window or from the gap between the doors. If the girl was selected and proposal finalized then the guests would be served with ‘panpole’ and coffee made from jaggery.

Today all these norms and customs have been totally flung around. The bride’s family gives a recent photograph of the girl with a lot of Photoshop editing done to the match maker and vice versa for the boy too. Then if the girl and the boy like each other’s photograph they take the contact number from the match maker, talk to each other on the phone or chat using messengers and then meet outside and after 3 to 4 months decide to get engaged and then six months later if they still decide they have mutual feelings and that this is the person really made for them then they decide to get married. But this happens only in rare case. Like job interviews trying for a better one, girl/boy look for more choices and the same procedure repeats. Despite this, after marriage people still repent saying I should have waited and tried for better!

The match maker is at the vanishing point too. Marriage bureaus and matrimonial websites are widely used. Many fall in love via chatting, Facebook and other social networking sites. In many cases the elderly people have less involvement. Decision factor is now absolutely a choice of the marrying aspirants. Of course change has taken place according to time. Many more changes are on the way.

How did these kind of marriages become so successful in earlier times? Can it be said that falling in love after marriage is a better idea? Intimacy breeds contempt. Suppose lovers meet in advance and lose the charm of intimacy before wedding, could it result in a failure of marriage? Could this be the reason for the increasing rate of divorce? What is the right criterion for a successful marriage? Something like, no matter what happens, I have to go along with this partner which seems to be very much intolerable.

Today we are given a lot of choices, freedom to choose what we want and what we do not. Is that the reason we fail in making the correct choices? Is it that due to the limited choice given during the olden days arranged marriages were successful to a large extent? I have an old friend who recently celebrated 24 years of marriage and is still very happy.

So what’s happening? Why is the conventional form being thrown away? These days people are restless, especially because many more things are taken into consideration. The western influence seems to be affecting Indian culture where customs and traditions are of great value. Well, life has to go on....

Pearl D'Silva - Archives:


by Pearl D'Silva, Bangalore
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Comment on this article

  • Vilma,

    Sat, Oct 30 2010

    The issue with arranged marriage is, how do you know that the person you are marrying is actually who they claim to be.
    First mistake is one associates "looks" with character and fall prey to deceit.
    it is not unheard of, for boys to abuse the system by getting their parents to search for a girl while simultaneously having affairs and intimate relations with other girl or girls, even as they are corresponding with a prospect for arranged marriage. The further away they are from their hometown, the riskier they can be as they are aware their news will never get to the girl or it will be too late. The longer they drag the chats with their prospects, the higher the chances that a girl from india will agree for the marriage, as the girl is vested time in it and potentially passed on other eligible prospects.

    There have been numerous cases of boys from u.s or u.k coming to india for arranged marriage, downplaying or even lying about their past relationships, from, the " I never had a gf" to "I had only 1 or 2 gf in the the past" (The "past" could be as early as yesterday or even a current relationship), and then after they come back to america, they realise the good girl they married from India isnt the "one" for them and either have secret relationship with ex or just leave the new wife. Now the responsibility is on the girl from india to make it work, to avoid embarassing her family.
    this always happened but now even more.

  • Ronald, Mangalore

    Tue, Aug 31 2010

    Superb article. Earlier days groom had to be elder than bride so that he could manage the family as he would have more wisdom. Now a days it does not matter.

  • Jude Pinto, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2010

    Hi Pearl,

    Nice article, I just keep waiting for your articles. Your articles conveys a strong message, its filled with realities in life. Which each one of us go through. Keep writing


  • Antony Nazareth, Byndoor / Bangalore

    Fri, Aug 06 2010

    Hi Pearly,
    Well said! This article briefly yet clearly shows what the young people think and aspire usually, not to forget this we see the traditional value and way things are communicated when new families are met together.
    Well done!
    Three Cheers to Pearly!!!

  • Kishore Guthala, Bangalore/AP

    Thu, Aug 05 2010

    Pearl,Very good article.Very soon let yor dream of writing novel come true.All the best and keep writing.It is interesting to read your previous articles too.


  • rashmi, mangalore

    Thu, Aug 05 2010

    Hi Pearl.
    the article is really wonderful. I think it reflects the truth that love after marriage always stands strong. but todays generation hardly accepts this bitter truth..even if they know that its absolutely correct

  • christine sequeira, mangalore

    Wed, Aug 04 2010


  • Preethi, Kundapur/Canada

    Wed, Aug 04 2010

    Well done Pearl. It reminds me when I got married this system existed. But the union of wedding is still strong.

    Try to write another good article about the wedded life getting broken due to misunderstanding, financial difficulties and worst death of a partner. How sad for a widow to carry on. One of my relative got married, enjoyed the top of their life, but for a short time. When the mother was pregnant for three months and before two months for wedding anniversary the husband passed away due to accident while driving.

  • aruna , mangalore

    Wed, Aug 04 2010

    hi pearl
    the article is very well written
    all the best and do write more articles
    thank you

  • adshenoy, mangloor

    Tue, Aug 03 2010

    Todays convenient marriages are inconvenient in the long run. They fail when "Convenience" is met.
    Parental guidance in marriages is much better than self desired ones.

  • Rakesh, Bangalore

    Tue, Aug 03 2010

    Very good points made in the article. Yes, the customs are changing. Now, the decision is taken by the induvisuals and not necessarily the society. This is good n one way. But, I always feel that marrige is a process which brings together not only two induvisuals but also 2 families, 2 societies, 2 different ways of life together. Is it very hard to accept in this situation that such an important decision like marriages need to collectively taken and not with induvisual point of view?

  • Sweta, bangalore/Ranchi

    Tue, Aug 03 2010

    Hey Pearl...nice article...please keep writing...Good luck:)

  • Shweta Singh, Bangalore

    Tue, Aug 03 2010

    Hi Pearl , Nice article. I liked the topic vry much. Keep writing.

  • Robertson, Kuwait

    Tue, Aug 03 2010

    Good article.Continue writing.Good luck.

  • Vinita, Mundkur

    Tue, Aug 03 2010

    Good one...

  • L soans, Mangalore

    Tue, Aug 03 2010

    I agree with you....i feel polder generation marriages still seem to last because of the pressure of the society. They prefer to remain unhappy with each other rather than get a divorce and have people in the community talking about each other. In other words they are more concerned about the society and waht will they say. However, the generation now believe they have only one life and have a right to be happy. If there seems to be no happiness in the relationship they prefer to separate rather than live together and fight everytime. I would not say its right, but again if you feel you have given everything to this relationship and its still not working then its better you are out of it!

  • Vincent Pinto, Thottam/UAE

    Mon, Aug 02 2010

    Good writing Pearl.Very well you have penned down your thoughts.I did not know you were Deepak's sister until I read his comment.Keep writing more articles

  • Gomez D'Souza, Belman

    Mon, Aug 02 2010

    Arranged marriages in yore were successful because of the only reason that the bride and groom hardly knew each other and there were no "Great Expectations." Secondly, societal pressure and parental responsibility as they were responsible for bringing the two together forced them to live together whether they liked it or not and once you spend a decade of your life with someone, it is easier to adjust for the rest of your life. Both create their own spaces and try to avoid ruffling feathers. The only reason why love marriages are a failure are: When in love, the lovers present their best side. "The other side of the coin remains in dark." It comes out only after marriage or after one is sure of gaining the other's hand. Then start the allegations: "You were not like this before!" To say arranged marriages were a success is not true. They were more like forced to live together as divorce was not an option in those days. This is not to say all arranged marriages were a failure, but it was always a lottery. I feel the best thing is to a love marriage arranged after getting well acquainted only. Lovers should mature and try to be truthful and honest with their partners. It is always better to part as lovers and friends than to get a divorce later. Do not hide your ugly side. Accept it. Everybody has Positives and negatives. Present a clean plate. If ed after knowing each other well, there will be no room left for quarrels later.

  • Deepak Dsilva, Paladka, Paladka/ Dubai

    Mon, Aug 02 2010

    Dear Pearl,Keep writing. I am proud of you my dear sister. Wish you all the best.

  • Santhu padukone, Padukone/Doha Qatar

    Mon, Aug 02 2010

    Nice 1.keep writing.

  • Mariette, Mnagalore/Bngalore/USA

    Mon, Aug 02 2010

    Things were much bettr when we had the joint family system. Tiday`s nuclear family leaves the couple stressed. with jobs. household chores and personal problems. Good article Pearl. However I was under the impression that three pesrons went to see the prospective bride or groom. I used to acompany my grandfather and the matchmaker.

  • Oliver Misquith, Mangalore/italy

    Mon, Aug 02 2010

    Nice One.keep writing.

  • Michael Corleone, Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 02 2010

    Hey Pearl great article penned by you once again. I don’t think it is merely the reason that added infiltration of Western culture into our culture alone is causing failure in current marriages. There are many instances wherein Western Couples do believe in moral values as in that of our culture. The underlying reasons could be todays future couples expect a lot more personally and materially from each other. Could be the people are more self-centred now than our elders who had an additional factor that is self sacrifice for one another and for the sake of family as a whole. This so called ingredient called self sacrifice is missing in the personality of the current generation. Nowadays self sacrifice among a couple would merely be re-defined as an adjustment on behalf of one party that leads to the resentment or hate and ultimately leading to failure of the relationship. This perception would not only apply to love marriages alone but also to arrange marriages too. Also we are misled by the fact Western Culture is imbibed with uncontrollable freedom to do or let do anything against the conservative society but ultimately the CHOICE relies totally upon the individual who only assimilates the wrong concepts from these cultures and apply it as a todays moral code against the society. The truth is, it is the choices we make in life that defines us the individual who we are – culture is just a boundary or limit created by society from different backgrounds.

  • Abraham Coutinho, Mundkur/Bombay

    Mon, Aug 02 2010

    Good article Pearl. Keep writing.

    For readers - For propsal, first 2 people go. Boy's father & match maker. 2 is even and 3 is odd. If father agreed, he goes again with boy. Boy is not sent alone. (In some places it may be different). They are served Water & Jaggery to get relief from their fatigue coming walking from long distance. When the father had said "yes", the match maker conveys it to girl's side who keep the food ready now. If eaten, the proposal is fixed. If boy does like the girl, they do not eat. Means boy refused girl.

    Female verson of " Padko" is "Padi" not Padki.

    In marriage it is better to have girl of lesser age say 7 - 8 years. Sexually, we can treat 54 yers man and 45 yesrs woman as old. If the man is also of 45 years, he still have good 10 years sexual life and he will search for it outside. Elders do not explain this to us.

    What Pearl means "Kulli" & Bhramin is like this. The generation of GSB Brahmins converted by Portugese in Goa & migrated south say Mangalore are " Bamna chi Kulli". Kshtria converters in Goa are "Chaddyan che". This combination was treated not good by the elders. Long back. Now every body is educated. Difference vanished.

    Reg. less diveroces in olden days. It was joint family. Securtiy was there for all. Desires were less. Less educated. Obedient. When some dispute comes up in the couple,experienced elders were present to control, convince & advice. Younger can only complaint with them but their decision was

  • Vincy Pinto, Mangalore/Dubai

    Mon, Aug 02 2010

    Good article, keep writing

  • Clara Lewis, Kemmannu/Dubai

    Mon, Aug 02 2010

    Good Article by Pearl, in in olden days the marriage was for life, they were not allowed to divorce for any reason, more on that people were God fearing, and never had the courage to break the law of the Lord and the church, also respecting elders,use to live in joint families, male use to work in the farm and lady use to do the housework and look after the family.

    In modern days male/female both are working and independent, they take aggrassive desicion without giving second thought, many divorces takes place for silly reasons because their ego stays higher than their marriage and children.

  • Ancy S DSouza, Paladka, Vasai

    Mon, Aug 02 2010

    A beautiful and heart touching article. Pearl has expressed her wonderful thoughts regarding marriage system especially among Mangaloreans. You have done a very good job. Keep writing pearl.

  • Antony Herbert Crasta, Mangalore/Sydney,Australia

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Nice article from you Pearl, which I really enjoyed - in fact, we heard from you after quite a bit of interval, as Reena Machado said! Looks like you have been busy with your normal work. Keep writing though! I have nothing more to add but inclined to agree with the earlier comments from Oswald Vaz, Felix F, A.S. Mathews, Anand, Reyan, RDS, Kay and Bulsham, etc., even some of those comments are debatable. I especially like the comments of Bulsham, Kay and A.S.Mathews though. Successful marriage in the modern era is a difficult one, sometimes it`s only a wishful thinking, and that`s why more and more youngsters postpone or avoid the marriage as far as possible. Arranged or love marriage, doesn`t matter, but should you decide to marry, Pearl, at some point of time in the future, do not forget to send me an invite, and mind you, give me sufficient notice.

  • Bulsam, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    In the olden days small communities lived in a small pocket of villages and they were ignorant of the outside world. There was no education and the earning is through labour. The men were more muscular hence they earned more and dominated their women folks. Religion, caste, fortune-tellers etc played major roles in predicting their future married life.
    Now, more then the muscle the mind/education played the bigger role hence the women too could reach to the stage of men in most field including earning. The transportation, communication, luxuries, modern gadgets, shopping malls, money power have converted the modern men into a materialistic creatures. Therefore everything including marraiges revolve aroung the materialistic possession, quick results, nuclear family and unisex thus religion, caste, customs etc have taken a back seat.

  • Allen, Mangalore/Bangalore

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Well framed article.. Does not give a conclusion, but poses a question , the answer to which will be different for different individuals. really farsighted...... really good...

  • Donald, udupi/Bangalore

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Hi Pearl.. Nice article . Keep writing .
    Muja kazaracha dhotornik tuje lagins yeta :P

  • Kay, Karnataka

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Many marriages in the olden days seemed successful. Women for centuries i n India have been and are still being treated as second class citizens. Marriages seemed successful because women were not allowed to be themselves, just cook, clean and bear children and of course consider the husband as a God that can make no mistakes. The writer of this article is young and is viewing the world through rose coloured glasses. Intimacy does not breed contempt. I agree that one should not indulge in pre-marital sex but to get to know each other is good or it ends up in years of regrets, bitter fights and that gets passed on to the next generation. There is an increasing rate of Christian divorce because till about 15 years ago there was no law that allowed a divorce in Christian marriages on the grounds of physical, mental or emotional cruelty. These are real things happening in real time. Things change with time and as long as people take responsibility for their love marriages and are adults I think that way they can live with their consequences good or bad…it’s a personal choice in an adult world.

  • Roque L.Pinto, udyavara/dubai

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Pearl,for your age you understood a lot about our culture.however
    you are fit to write a story about our wedding culture,some day some body produce a movie on your story and it will be a memorable one

  • Alwyn Nazareth, Bajpe- Jubail/K.S.A

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Hey Pearl,try to write more article..I don't think it will be difficult for a person like you to rise....good luck

  • R D S, Kallianpur/DXB

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Hey Pearl Great good article.Some questions really makes one to think
    1.Parents interfearence in married life is one of the cause for divorces.In earlier days when there used to be fight between husband and wife girls parents used to make her to understand the responsibilities of a wife in the married life and how to take controle of the situation. Today if some fight between the couple happens parents of the girl take their daughter home and endup in divorce. I would not blame the young couple but their parents for interfearing in the marriage of their child.
    2.Its understanding and loving each others feelings.

  • RR, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Hey Pearl,
    Gud 1 dear.. Keep it up.. d article is very informative.. Expecting many mre gud ones 4m u.. well done..

  • Reyan, Kuwait

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Nothing has been changed i believe. But due to modernisation things have been getting easier and much closer. Earlier there was less population and it was difficult to get the proposal. Now a day there is high population and the number of eligible bachelor/spinster is high and the photos is the easiest way to look and proceed in search of proposals. And now a days it will be very much easier to find the proposals. No need of photographs too. Just give the facebook/orkut id and the rest profile will be appear within a minute including previous adventures, office culture, family background too.

  • Kiran Pinto, Mangalore/Dubai

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Well written.Weddings celebrated 20years back are no longer found.Adhli kazarancho riwazi atha polonk melana!Today people wont bother marrying a man 10years younger.All that is seen is compatibility.

  • A.S.Mathew, U.S.A.

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Great article. In the olden days,
    we were totally controlled by the
    elders and traditions, and we
    were forced to blindly follow them
    without our convictions and liberty. We must be very cautious
    to marry somebody of identical
    attitude, purpose, mindset,
    and convictions then the problems
    can be fixed when marriages start to shake. Marriages in
    the olden days were totally based
    on social status, wealth, education, caste and religion,
    and majority of the couples
    were not compatible.

    Now, everything has changed likewise the order of marriage.

    In the olden days, the broken marriages had to continue to please
    the families and society. Now, if
    it is broken, divorce is the next
    step. Breaking up a marriage for
    any silly reason is not a joke,
    but it will affect the children
    for ever and more deeply than the parents.

    We need to seek divine guidence
    before jumping into the solid contract of marriage.

    extrovert x introvert
    thrifty x lavish
    social x anti-social
    fun loving x moody and grouchy
    short tempered x patient
    spiritual x worldly
    compassionate x cold-hearted
    literate x illiterate
    pleasure loving x aversion to pleasure. stubborn x forgiving...

    This disparty can be found in
    every marriage, and they are
    weak links of the married life.

  • Anand, Bangalore

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Nice articile Pearl, As the times have changed now there is more interaction between girls and boys from a very young age unlike the past, and this is the reason everyone prefers choosing their partner, and no one is in a hurry to get married early.

  • Anil Dsouza, Halealve/Cardiff

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Hey Pearl,
    Good writing yar. When are u getting married ???

  • John Leslie D'souza, M'lore

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Nice article dear Pearl. Really liked it. Keep writing..

  • John Leslie D'souza, M'lore

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Nice article dear Pearl. Really liked it. Keep writing..

  • Uttam Menezes, Bendur/Sharjah

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Very nice article Pearl. Keep up the good work. Enjoyed your article.

  • Jovita Govious, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Present marriages are no holds barred.. have freedom to work.., free from in-laws, selfish desires are met with egoism,individualism...happy go lucky even if to face what come may ? As far life goes on do to compare golden age with the stone age.

  • Felix F.,, India/Ksa

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    The writer should have first mentioned the objects of marriage of Conventioal types vs the modern one`s. Are they
    1. For Procreation or
    2. For Recreation.
    Prior to saying which types of marriages are successful or not

    It cannot be disputed, that online match makers have not just put the conventional match makers in the back seat, but if fact dumped them in the trunk.

    Be it conventional, be it the Ultra modern, no one, except the concerned individuals of a marriage -"Husband/wife" will know whether their marriage is a success or not.

    The happy memories of a few months of marriage may last a life time, where as the pains/horrors of years of marriage, may keep hounding untill death.

    Span of marriage is not the scale to judge the success of a marriage.

    For the nature, the object of marriage is for procreation. So even if the marriage lasts a full life time without having children, the marriage is a failure, one the other hand if the two produce abundent children and fight every second, yet it is a successful marriage.

    There are instances where marriages are broken even after 30 or 40 years of being together.
    Many couples stay together not becuse they love each other, but for the sake of the children or to bluff the society.

    Also the success/happiness of a marriage deapends on their childrens succes or failur in life.

    In short, marriage is a very complicated union, the success of which, also depends on a happy disunion.


    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Diff. Between Olden days Marriage and Present day Marriage.
    1.Olden days married girl not allowed to come back home leaving her husband.
    2.Present day marriages are LOVE marriages they will see everything before.
    3.Present day girls are qulified ,employed, they stand on their own legs.
    3.Present day boys&girls are pampered by their parents. They provide them everythings.
    4.Present day generation don't know the hardship of life.
    5.Present both husband &wife expect other one to pamper them vise versa.
    Due to these factors present day more DIVORCE than olden days.
    their own legs.

  • Clara Lewis, Kemmannu/Dubai

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Good article, in erlier time the couple use to depend on elders even after get married and had children. Now both are working and independent, not ready to bend to each other, that makes people to take aggrassive decision, even though they regret later the ego takes high place.

  • Antony T. D' Souza, Karkala / Qatar

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    In the olden days marriage was like "bandovun dovorli boothi" but now "ugthie dovorli boothi". Before food was tasty, eaten full but now very spicy eat half, leave it go for the next !! ( with few exceptions) Life has to goes on Pearly...

  • Divya Kamath, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Hey Pearl,
    Nice write up dear.Things have changed over the past few years.nice points you have picked up.

  • Reena Machado, Pangla/KSA

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Good article Pearl.It has been a while since your previous article.Trend in marriages has been changing.For the better I must say.All in all good one.Keep writing

  • Fiona Furtado, Abu Dhabi

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    hey Pearl!! stunned by your article and it is so true that we have changed and i believe for good!!! your article give a reality check to people!!!
    keep up the good work dear

  • rodrash, mangalore

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    nice article..but i dont think anything is influencing our times go on we have to adapt to a newer way of living..and you cannot compare conditions now to conditions then either..and yes..matchmakers are definitely there even now

  • Nirmala D'mello, Bahrain/Valencia

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Hey Pearly, Very nice article, Keep it up, May God Bless You

  • Anand, Karkala/Dubai

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Brahmins would never marry a girl or a boy from lower strata. I have the living evidence in front of me, one of the Brahmins married to a Harijan and living peacefully.
    Arranged marriages were successful in old days only, because they didn't have the option of meeting girls.
    To be successful in married life Love and marriage should go hand in hand.

  • Jerry Rasquinha, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    Pearl D'Silva has written a good article on the prevailing issues with an insight of past traditions. Congratulations. Please keep writing.

  • cleevan lozil, pernal/ dubai

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    I'm sure you'll climb the ladder of success!!!please keep writing....!!!All the best!!!

  • V Rods, Mumbai

    Sun, Aug 01 2010

    The writer has just spoken out her thoughts. May be she needs to come out of her shell and experience the world. She also claims Matchmakers are vanishing...definitely they'd vanish coz first of all they are those old timers who really do not understand your requirement. You tell them X and they get A. If you are qualified they try and match you up with a guy earning 1/4th salary of yours with no relevant qualifications.They form judgments and decide from their instincts, they tell lies about a match...Am sure no person would then want to trust them.
    Dear writer..there are still a majority of people who believe in conventional marriage do not judge and make these statements. Yes, I agree it is not the totally conventional one but has moved a little further to adapt to the current generation. So stop classifying it as a marriage of convenience.

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