October 15, 2006
Martin opened the door to pick up the daily newspaper. His good neighbor Eric who had just started the early morning walk gesticulated and wished him a very good morning. Martin waved, then collected the broadsheets and closed the door. On route to the sitting room he peered into the kitchen. Natalia was standing near the gas stove, sensed her husband’s appearance.
“Your tea is not ready yet.” She clenched her teeth in annoyance.
The air of repugnance had become customary in their interaction. The aversion was getting more and more discernible. The twenty five years of married life had gone through the height of warmth, but now was sliding into deterioration. He had failed to comprehend the key to keep her contented. She would retort cynically whenever he tried to open his mouth. He remained miserable and forlorn.
He was about to sit down on the rocking chair to have glance at the newspaper, Natalia came out from the kitchen with a mug of coffee.
“Your tea is ready.” She informed mockingly. “I do not know why people drink tea.”
“You may drink your coffee and shut up.” Martin tried his voice of command.
“You do not know the taste and the essence of coffee.” Natalia did not keep quiet. “I firmly believe that tea is one such source of bad breath.”
She had always disliked tea. She had kept it away since childhood. But that was not the case with Martin. He had relished coffee when he was young and during the early days of their marriage. But gradually he found it bitter. That was not all. Coffee intake also led him to confront the difficulties of constipation. Thus slowly he detached himself from coffee and felt refreshed only with tea. He had somehow learnt to manage the bitterness of sugarless tea.
‘While coming from kitchen she could have brought my glass of tea. But she did not. She is self centered.’ He whined within and placed the newspaper on the coffee table. He walked into the kitchen.
‘I will have to prepare the cheesecake.’ He abruptly remembered. After searching for a while he removed a packet of sucralose from the kitchen cabinet. He was marginally diabetic, so doctor had advised him to shun sweet products. His son who was living abroad had brought a few packets of sucralose, a non-caloric artificial sweetener. Martin always had enjoyed sweets. Once the doctor cautioned, Natalia made him to follow the sugarless diet. But Martin had his methods to escape from the constraints. During his visits to the market he would eat chocolates, biscuits, ice creams and also cakes. Cheesecake was his favorite and he always found it irresistible.
If Martin was slightly diabetic, Natalia was troubled from high cholesterol. About couple of years back she had undergone angioplasty to remove the fatty matter from the coronary arteries. There after she enforced extra precaution in her food habits. Under this situation, ingestion of cheese cake was totally ruled out. She did not bother even to nibble a small piece from the cheese cake which Martin had prepared with the blend of sucralose.
His last experience of cheese cake preparation also became unforgettable for the misadventure of severe indigestion with acute diarrhea and nausea. After the tests the doctor had advised him to avoid sucralose. He was also informed that his inner system was not capable enough to digest and metabolize the chemical composition of sugar molecule with chlorine atom. In spite of the caveat how dare he could show the guts to venture into the preparation of cheese cake with the mix of sucralose?!
When he returned to the sitting room with the glass of tea Natalia had secured the possession of both the newspaper and his rocking chair. She had made her self comfortable on the chair with the daily in hand. He shivered with exasperation. It made him see red and his blood boiled. He glanced at her with fury and he moved to the bed room. He gawked at mirror.
Why does she agitate him? How long he could endure? He was tired and hence he had decided to eliminate her!
Martin had served in Central Chemical Laboratories near Mumbai for about 30 years. Soon after his retirement he returned back to Benaulim, his home town in Goa. They had two children. Eldest was son, presently working in Dubai, had given indications of migrating to Canada. The daughter his second child was married to a doctor based in Houston. They would come and stay with them on brief holidays once in 3-4 years. They were in touch through telephone calls and emails on regular basis.
Monetarily he was not loaded but then he had enough savings to manage the two of them. Supported by the pension scheme he did not have the need to be reliant on his offspring. The physical condition was in control. His only trauma was his wife Natalia. They had respected each other and did not have many wrangles when he was working. The bickering began and the frequency shot up once Martin moved over to the town in Goa soon after the retirement from service. Natalia was born and brought up in Mumbai and lived close to her friends & relatives even after marriage. The idea of spending rest of her life in Benaulim was treated with aversion. Martin had snubbed and turned his back on her recurrent appeals.
The initial setback occurred with repulsion in physical relationship. Gradually they encountered psychological asphyxiation. Attempts were made to humiliate each other by words of abuse and slur. The rudeness climbed the height of intolerance and he wished she had non-existed. The only way out was to throw her to the extinction and there by earn the joy and freedom of living. He wanted her to disappear from his life, so he could gain peace and tranquility for the rest of his life.
At this age he did not have the courage to approach for divorce. He was in no position to lose his savings on compensation to be payable for annulment. Marriage separation was still considered to be taboo in his small society.
So how could he isolate her?
“The blacks would not become white by fixing their eyes on the mirror.” She taunted while entering the bed room.
He was brown in color. She was always egotistical on her fair skin.
“Why did you keep the sucralose out?” She began the inquiry.
“I want to prepare the Cheesecake.” He responded.
“I believe you always like to cook which I abhor to eat.” Natalia complained. “Perhaps your memory is short. Last time you consumed the Cheesecake made from the mix of sucralose and fell ill. Doctor has advised you to stay away from sucralose. You have forgotten.”
“It is my wish.” He turned his back.
“This man is pig in nature.” She mocked. “He has lost sanity after retirement. Now he wants me to go rotten in this village.”
They met at the dining table for breakfast. It was more like two strangers eating in a restaurant. There was no interaction. The warmth was absent in their dealings.
‘Do you call it life? How long could be tolerated?’ The boundary of composure had gone haywire.
Natalia would start the cooking chore by 10:00 am. The facilities offered by the building included a modern gymnasium. She had her schedule for the workout. Martin utilized this time suitable for his task. He preheated the oven. The crust was prepared in a medium bowl combined with cracker crumbs, almonds and butter and then pressed hard into the bottom of the cheesecake pan. He placed the pan inside the freezer. He picked up the large mixer bowl to make the combination of cream cheese, butter, sucralose, eggs, orange juice concentrate and vanilla extract. He poured the batter over the frozen crust. This was baked in the preheated oven for one hour. Then the left over orange juice with the mix of, sucralose, cracker crumbs and butter was sprinkled over the top. It looked delectable and delightful. He smacked his lips, left the cake in the refrigerator and came out.
“When do plan to go to market?” His wife checked when she returned from the gymnasium.
“Why?” He was snappy.
“I need a few items from the super market and the medical store. I am running short of some tablets.” She gave her list.
“One has to learn from you on how to increase expenses on regular basis.” He infuriated in his customary pattern. He was edgy when spending for Natalia. But his expenses were dealt with ease.
“You are such a fetid miser while spending on my medicines. You are stingy beyond eloquence. I have already reminded you to fix an appointment with the eye specialist. My vision is going blurry. You are not bothered.” She retorted. “Perhaps you are waiting for my death!”
‘Waiting for the death? How does she know? But she is not aware that I have designed a plot to eliminate her!’ Martin restrained the grin.
He went out to the market with Eric, his neighbor. Natalia’s list on kitchen requirements was taken care. Coffee bottle was not listed, but he particularly remembered to pick up the coffee bottle from the supermarket shelf. He bought fish from the vendor. He had no intentions to visit the medical shop. ‘First, let her remain alive until tomorrow. Then I can think about it.’ This was what he thought.
“Do you like to join me at 7:00 o’clock?” He asked Eric when they entered the gate.
“What is so special?” Eric wanted to know.
“Today Brazil is playing, could be thrilling.” Martin replied. “Let us have a drink or two together.”
Eric nodded.
When Martin reached home he hid the coffee bottle in his closet. Natalia grilled him for not bringing her tablets. He made an attempt to hurl lame pretext of being short of cash. The bitter bickering occurred. The atmosphere turned unpleasant and acrimonious.
He had the habit of having a shower once he returned from the market. Natalia had wrapped up her lunch when he stepped out from the washroom. He did not grumble. He ate and then began reading the newspaper. He became drowsy and went to sleep. It was 4:30 when he got up. Natalia was getting ready to go for the evening walk with Eric’s wife. He made a cup of tea and of-course did not forget to add little sugar.
Natalia would take minimum one and half hour to return from the near by park. As she moved out with Eric’s wife, Martin transformed into a man full of zip. He fastened the bolt and ran to the closet. A small box was removed from bottom shelf. He opened the box and had a close look.
It contained the colorless crystals. His knowledge in chemicals was exemplary. This was collected from the chemical laboratory before his retirement. He had brought the chemical to polish the metal articles and to remove the stains from the wash room & kitchen.
The specific chemical was the oxalic acid. This was commonly found in rhubarb plants especially in green leaves. The stalks since contain low level of oxalates, not highly problematic. There were cases of poisoning when large quantity of raw or cooked leaves are ingested. Oxalic acid also could be produced by heating sodium formate and treating the resulting oxides with sulfuric acid or by the action of nitric acid on sugar or of strong alkalis on saw dust. The consumption of higher level of concentrated oxalic acid could be lethal for human beings and animals.
He came straight to the kitchen. He opened Natalia’s used coffee bottle. Martin decanted the chemical into the coffee bottle. He shook it well to intermingle. The effect would be known only by tomorrow. Natalia would consume at least 2 large cups by morning. Once the poison spreads, the body as a whole would undergo weakness, burning in mouth, eyes, ears, nose & throat, abdominal pain, failure in respiratory & nervous system, cardiovascular collapse and there by death was certain.
What a liberation it could be once Natalia was found dead!
He left the coffee back to its position over the shelf. The empty chemical box was thrown into the wastepaper basket. He washed his hands and opened the fridge. The cheesecake was removed. He ate couple of slices and waited for the after effects. Doctor’s warning was still fresh in mind. Martin made psychological preparation for the inevitable suffering. The cheesecake with the mix of sucralose would sure to hit him hard with watery stools and queasiness. He had the experience and now he waited for his moment.
He knew it would happen as per his plan. It was foolproof. He was expected to fall sick after sometime. Eric would help him to get hospitalized. This would make Natalia all alone in the house. She would never miss her morning coffee. The consumption of oxalic acid mixed coffee would make her ill and frail. He would not be available at home to help her and rush for emergency. When he returns from the hospital he would seek the help of the neighbors to break open the door. Natalia’s corpse would be waiting inside. He would abolish the poisonous coffee bottle and replace with the new coffee container. There could be a police inquiry. Eric would become the eyewitness to prove that Martin was taken to hospital and Natalia was in perfect health when they had left. The society would believe that Martin was hospitalized for food poisoning and Natalia took her last breath since nobody was available to attend when the food poisoning affected her. He even rehearsed on his reactions soon after the body was discovered. The manner of shedding tears and the sob until the moment of burial was practiced into perfection.
When Natalia returned from her evening walk Martin was in his elements. His health took a drastic turn soon after Eric arrived to watch the football match. The sickness began with the vomiting and then diarrhea. Natalia was anxious and concerned. He drank water since he was thirsty, but oozed out from the mouth within five minutes. By next half an hour his energy level deteriorated and he could not walk without help.
As intended Martin sought for Eric’s assistance. Natalia also wanted to escort them. He yelled and instructed her to be at home. Eric accompanied Martin to a near by nursing home and returned home after admission.
While resting in the hospital under glucose drips Martin developed dreadful uneasiness. He could not sleep. He experienced trepidation. The fear gripped his brain cells. If Natalia was found dead, would he experience the trauma of loneliness with horror and guilt for rest of his life? He was disgusted. When he managed to get some sleep he was haunted by the dreams. Natalia’s assumed death and fear of being arrested by police frightened him. He got up in the morning with a jerk. By this moment of life all he wanted was to see Natalia alive and speak to her with warmth.
‘Is she alive or already dead after drinking the poisonous coffee?’
‘What a brutal and wicked husband am I to kill my own wife? I am merciless executioner in true sense. Did I marry to end up with such ruthless act? At least I should have thought of God and the impact of the sin.’ Martin repented. He fretfully pondered over the past, the initial exhilaration after wedding, the delight when the children were born and the blissful life until the retirement came up. All was not bad.
His hands were shivering when lifted the receiver to call the operator. He demanded to get him connected to his residence number. The telephone buzzed for long and there was no response from Natalia. The heart beat tore him further apart. The ring tone cracked open at the fourth attempt.
“Hello…. Good Morning.” He was frantic. “Where were you? I tried so many times.”
“Good Morning. How are you?” Natalia laughed. “I was in the washroom.”
“How are you?” He anxiously asked her.
“Forget about me. I am fine.” Her affection astonished him. “How are you? The night was too long without you. I could not sleep. It is insipid to be alone.”
“Nausea is in control, the stomach is slowly settling down.” He told the truth. “I am tired of this place. I want to see you. Did you drink you coffee, how about the breakfast?”
“I just had my breakfast.” She replied. “Do you know something? Today I did not drink coffee. I missed you so much, which inspired me to try out tea. This is crazy, isn’t it? I had two mugs of tea.”
‘She did not consume the poisonous coffee! God rescued her.’ He thanked God.
“Is it so? This sounds really wild.” His voice quivered with tenderness. “Then please do not drink coffee until I reach back. You may drink only tea. I will think of you and consume only coffee.”
“This is not a bad idea.” She adorably co-operated. “Let us make a promise.”
Their revitalized conversation continued in length, throttled by emotions. She insisted on her wish to visit the nursing home, but he firmly disallowed. He considered himself not worthy of such benign treatment. He remembered his promise and ordered coffee from the canteen. It was not tasty but still managed to savor the flavor.
His heart had mellowed in shame. The indignity embarrassed him to no ends. He realized his self centered mind-set was the cause for the marital malfunction. Martin recognized the points where drastic amendment in attitude was necessary. ‘Natalia need to be treated with respect, care and affection. I will have to immediately change her lenses. The delay in medication care needs to be avoided. I should give priority to her likes and dislikes. She needs time off. Hence should be allowed to go to Mumbai at least few days in a year. If feasible even visits to Dubai and Houston could be a reality. The interactions with children and grand children will provide the much desired sense of joy.’
He found no meaning life without Natalia’s presence in life. A lonely night in the hospital away from home had resolved snags in his brain.
But most important was to get rid of the poisonous coffee bottle and replace with the new one!
Their love abruptly had become irresistible in resurgence. They called each other and spoke repeatedly over the phone. Eric visited and stayed in the hospital till the evening. Martin was discharged. He paid the bill, bought the medicines as per doctor’s prescription and reached near his home. He thanked Eric for his assistance as he moved off.
The joy experienced by Natalia when she faced her husband was beyond eloquence. She closed the door and embraced Martin. They held each other in the arms for minimum five minutes. Martin vowed within to remain attached forever. The corrosion was scuffed off and their fervor was reborn. A day and night of separation made them to connect once again. Perhaps the fear of living alone generated the fright and panic which paved the way for adoration.
“You have become so anemic just within a day.” She was concerned. “Anyway now you have come back. It is my responsibility to take your proper care. Forgive me dear, I must have hurt your feelings quite frequently. I am sorry. Henceforth I will not give any room for grievance in my behavior or speech.”
“Actually I should apologize.” Martin was strongly motivated to confess his heinous act of poisoning the coffee. But the words lingered inside.
He wanted to take off the toxic coffee bottle from the kitchen shelf and keep the identical pure grade without any suspicion. He waited for his chance. The new coffee bottle was kept hidden in his closet.
“I have a gift for you.” She moved into the kitchen. She came back with a tray in her hand which contained a delectable gorgeous cheesecake.
“Is it a Cheesecake?” He was pleasantly bowled over.
“I thought of giving you a surprise when you return from the hospital. Nothing occurred to my mind until I was convinced on cheesecake.” She sat beside him. “I threw your leftover cheese cake to the garbage. I am aware that you love cheesecake. Please try and let me know your comments.”
“I hope you have not put sucralose.” Martin winked.
“I would never do it even by mistake.” She took a spoonful and pushed inside Martin’s mouth. “I have used sugar. After all your sugar level is in control. Nothing will go wrong by occasional intake.”
When the mouthful of scrumptious content diluted he craved for more.
“Perhaps I never ever had such yummy cheesecake in my life.” Martin smacked his lips. “Don’t you like to try?”
“You are aware cheese does not go well with my system.” She fed him some more. “This is called Irish Cheesecake. I have used coffee powder in the preparation. I hope it is all right, isn’t it? Possibly the coffee powder must have played the trick to be so delicious!”