Confusion of the Young

February 8, 2017

Our society is continuously evolving with a variety of changes. There are changes in individual life styles, attitudes, morality, thinking patterns, and so on. Taking holistically, individual culture (that is, way of life) of the person is changing. These changes are galloping at a great speed like a virus. Although change is the norm of the nature and the society, individual has to adapt oneself for the new change. Some people especially the young easily imitate and get absorbed by the new trends. Whereas the majority especially, the adults, and elderly find themselves hard to understand the new changes and get confused, as they are convinced that the earlier traditional ways are the best. They find it hard to adapt themselves to the new trends as they find themselves comfortable the way it was, as they say “in our times it was not so”. They want their younger generation to follow the traditional ways which were set by them as against the seductive, easy going modern ways.

When it comes to the young, they find themselves in a flux of confusion. As they seek for fun, excitement and innovatives, the norms set by their parents seem to be boring and are not exciting. They see themselves in a world of fun and excitement as they are very much updated with the present trends through their friends, media, and social networking. They also see a lot of people, especially their peers gettting into such fads and there is a pressure from them. At the same time, the significant persons around them, like parents, family members are opposed to such fads, and exhort them to follow the norms of the past. This is very true regarding dress, food habits, life styles, friendships, and morality.

The present young are in a world of confusion. They are confused between the modern and the traditional ways. The modern ways are very attractive, sensual and easy going. The young are very comfortable with the company of their peers as they boost and give them a nod that they are right. While at home, their parents admonish them and insist on following the standards set by them. So the young get confused between the standards fixed by their parents and the fads or trends existent around. They are confused between modern and traditional, morally meticulous and morally liberal, strict family life and liberal family life. They see they have a strict parenting against the liberal parenting of their peers. In fact, the young are confused between fanaticizing, seducing world around and the strict traditional society.

Confusion of our young is accelerated by the media, reality shows and social networking which they accept as God’s word. Our young are 'keen observers but lousy interpreters'. They observe everything keenly and take into heart that it is the reality but fail to interpret properly. It’s too late when they realize reality. To interpret and make them realize the reality, they need good parenting. Parenting or guiding by the youth workers involves in interpreting the reality to them taking into consideration their categories viz, how they understand the reality. Parenting involves first and foremost in understanding the confusion of the young, that is, context or situation their young are facing. Secondly, to interpret the things and setting right their priorities. Initially, the young may be resistant and hold on to the ways they are doing. Although they are resistant, they love and respect their parents. Parents cannot leave them on their way, fearing the resistance. If parents fail to interpret and guide them, who else can do so. Right parenting involves in making them understand the difference between the things they see around and the reality within.


Fr Arun Lobo Archives:

Fr Arun Lobo
Director, Shanthi Kiran Counselling Centre, Bajjodi, Mangaluru
Practicing guidance counselor and therapist in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), specializing in adolescent and youth behaviour.
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Comment on this article

  • lolita pereira, surathkal

    Mon, Feb 13 2017

    Good and nice article father. Arun.

  • Robert Cutinha, Bangalore

    Sat, Feb 11 2017

    Nice article Fr. Very relevant in the present situation. Rightly said Parents play a major role in shaping up the Young in right direction.... thanks for the write-up.

  • Johnson Ferar, ferar/israel

    Fri, Feb 10 2017

    Nice Article
    Nice write up Father Arun Lobo.Our youth need guidance...

  • Simon Lobo, USA

    Wed, Feb 08 2017

    Fr. Arun Lobo,

    Well written and explanation provided support the theme of the listed title. There are few repeat thoughts and the reader has some difficulty to follow due to many sentences in one paragraph. Rather than four paragraphs, it could have been ten or more so that each thought is well understood and followed.

    Agree that "Confusion of our young is accelerated by the media, reality shows and social networking", however, these days young people in the age group of 12 to 30 are developing their own thinking and social surroundings than who are 40 plus age group. Those in 55 plus age group many a times may not have the skill set or technical know-how to communicate or mix and mingle with young people.

    Thanks to elderly or aged seniors, like grand parents, who have always demonstrated lot more patients and support to young people than parents of young people due to some of issues listed in the article. Also, our moral values in Indian based family structure is strong than any western country based families.

    There are times, when parents of young people are sandwiched between their parents & elderly family members who they respect and adore which is missing in young people, and their own children who have lesser understanding of moral values and respect to elders due to the reasons listed. This may be at times, due to peer pressure and life style of their friends.

    Looking forward to read more articles and your thoughts on adolescent and youth behavior, which may help us to learn more about such issues.

    Have a blessed day.

  • Hilda d silva, kallianpur

    Wed, Feb 08 2017

    Nice write up Father.Our youth need continue writing.We need more counsellors in our mangalore and udipi dioceses and in schools too.

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