The High Cost of High Score

  •   Wed, Oct 01 2025
  •   by Vani Ummakka

October 1, 2025

Dear Parents, Wake Up—Before It’s Too Late

Having volunteered at a suicide lifeline for more than five years, and counselling teens over the last few years, the recent news of a young lad who scored 99.9% and soon after committed suicide has troubled us all deeply. This tragedy compels us to ask: where are we going wrong?

I believe the answer lies in the way modern parenting is shaping childhood. Today’s parents proudly provide their children with separate rooms, calling it “respecting their space.” But what about the space for a child’s thoughts, dreams, or expressions? Sadly, these are often dictated by the parent’s ambitions rather than nurtured from the child’s own heart.

If we truly think it’s important to address parents during school orientations or parent–teacher meetings, one wonders—will schools even allow such discussions? After all, most institutions are caught in the rat race of producing rank-holders. But the bigger question remains: at what cost?

A child who scores 99.9% is celebrated as a symbol of success. Yet, was that child ever given the chance to talk freely, to play, to laugh, or to enjoy childhood? Many such toppers, fed only with syllabus-driven learning, lack even the confidence to speak a few words. Their lives are reduced to textbooks and exams, while recreation, sports, and creativity are sacrificed. Still, these schools remain in high demand. Why? Because parents themselves push their children to “score marks or die trying.”

This culture comes at a heavy price. It is high time the government steps in to create systems where children can seek help and be heard—just as child helplines exist. Because what happens after the 99.9%? Many toppers eventually move abroad—not to serve the nation, but to escape the pressures that raised them or to become the pride of the parents.

Parents, look closely at this cycle. By pushing your children into relentless harassment for grades, you risk creating a future where they feel no bond with you. You send them abroad, and years later, when you are old and frail, you find yourselves in the care of strangers or in old age homes. And then comes the lament: “Children don’t care for us anymore.” But did these parents ever teach their children what care truly means? If a child has only been trained to compete, compare, and achieve, where will they learn compassion, empathy, or responsibility toward family?

The truth is uncomfortable, but it must be faced.

As a counselor, I have had the chance to listen to teens across economic backgrounds. What strikes me most is that children from financially struggling families where parents are les educated, often dream bigger and clearer. They want to become professors like their teachers, or doctors, engineers, entrepreneurs, bankers, and even soldiers serving the nation. Their questions are practical: How can I study better? How can I improve my English? How do I join the armed forces?

These children are not short of ambition or awareness. They know the world of possibilities—they only seek direction. This makes me realize that the desire to excel is not limited by wealth or privilege. It is deeply human. Every child, irrespective of background, carries within them the spark of greatness.

What children need most is not dictation, but direction. Not pressure, but patience. Not ambition forced upon them, but opportunities to explore their own.

Dear young parents, wake up—before it’s too late.

A Suicide Lifeline Initiative
We are here to listen
082429834444

 

 
by Vani Ummakka
Vani Ummakka is a freelance English language trainer
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