Raising Strong Kids Starts with How They See Themselves

July 24, 2025 

A gentle story of what really builds confidence in a child. 

Every parent wants to raise a strong child. We picture them growing up confident, kind, resilient—able to speak up for themselves, bounce back from failure, and face life with steady courage. But often, when we think of how to build that strength, we imagine it will come later, through achievements, responsibilities, or lessons about the real world. 

The truth is, that kind of strength starts much earlier.

And it begins in the simplest place: how a child sees themselves. 

What many parents do not realize is that children learn who they are by how we treat them in everyday life. When your toddler shows you their messy drawing and you say, “Wow, you worked hard on that,” you are not just encouraging their creativity, you are shaping how they feel about effort, and about themselves. When you listen with patience, even when they are babbling nonsense, you are telling them, “Your voice matters.” 

These small moments become a mirror.

A child looks into it daily, gathering clues about their worth. 

And slowly, your responses become their inner voice. 

The child who hears, “it’s okay, let’s try again,” learns that failure is not the end of the world.

The child who hears, “I love you, even when you’re upset,” learns that their feelings are safe and allowed.

The child who sees you take a deep breath instead of shouting learns that calm is possible, even in chaos. 

In these everyday situations—bedtime routines, spilled juice, shoe tantrums, quiet cuddles on the couch—real self-esteem is built. Not loud, showy confidence. But the deep, quiet kind. The kind that says, “I am enough, even when I get it wrong.” 

This strength does not need perfect parenting. It does not need expert scripts or magical tools. What it does need is presence. Not always calm, not always composed, but present enough to send the same message over and over: You are safe with me. You are valued. You are not too much. 

And when you have those days where nothing goes right—when your voice is sharper than you wanted, when your patience wears thin, when you forget the thing you promised—remember this. Children are not looking for perfection. They are looking for connection. 

A simple hug at the end of a hard day, a sincere “I’m sorry I yelled,” or just sitting beside them while they cry can do more than a hundred perfect moments. 

In the end, raising strong kids is not about how much they can do, or how well they behave. It is about whether they believe they are worthy and loved, even on the messiest days. 

Because the strongest kids are not the ones who never fall down.

They are the ones who believe they can get back up. 

And that belief—that deep, lifelong strength—starts with you.

 

 

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By Shubha Nair
Shubha Nair is the founder of Yogue Body & Mind (getyogue.com).
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Comment on this article

  • Rita, Germany

    Thu, Jul 24 2025

    Raising strong kids?Nothing of that I say.You are not raising strong kids ,but you raise be a strong parent /s to be a strong kid.Give them enough faith to be strong ,be yourself let them feel they have strong parent who can give support in a difficult times ,whatever the situation is.All kids are not same,so have to support them even they seem to fail at times.Kids look at their parents how they react in some hard times ,or happy times:They learn from you.Did you watch a small kid how you react when child makes failure ,or for example kid steal money etc?Thank you for your article .


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