Responding vs Reacting

  •   Mon, Jun 30 2025
  •   By Divya

June 30, 2025

In our daily lives, we talk to many people, be it known or unknown. Communication may be in the form of written, spoken, verbal, or non-verbal. On average, a human being speaks lakhs of words a day.

In communication, there is one major element that is the response (reply) or feedback.

When two or more people communicate normally, what we mostly do is listen to reply, not to understand what is being communicated. We always wait for our turn to speak up; rather, we don't listen keenly to what is being said by the other person.
This is a major problem in the corporate world and even in daily life, where we all reply, not respond.

To clearly understand this, let me elaborate. In communication, to make it a complete process, the feedback or reply from the other party is necessary. Only then does the giver of the message understand that the message has been understood by the recipient.
Everything lies in the reply or feedback provided by the recipient of the message, but whenever communication takes place in a normal scenario, what we all do is listen not to understand what is being said, but rather to just reply. This is called reacting.

Usually, in a fight, this concept of reaction and response plays a crucial role in making or breaking the relationship. In any fight or misunderstanding, the people aren't in a mood to listen to each other's point of view; they just want to prove and put forward their point and win the argument. Most of the time, what people do is react to the situation and spoil everything.
Reaction happens instantly. Here, our brain doesn't think about what is being told—it just reacts without thinking. Hence the saying: remain silent when you are angry. Anger takes away our thinking capability, and whatever comes to mind in that moment, we speak out.
They say if you hit a person, they may forget the pain after a few days, but the words you say in anger will remain in their mind forever. So, we should “respond” in communication.

Responding is nothing but “listening carefully to what is being said or asked, taking time to think about what to reply, then, after a pause, giving our answer or feedback.”
Here, we think about what to say in our mind first, then we put it forward to the person. Even in the heat of an argument, we calm ourselves a little and then say our points. This reduces anger and brings the situation under control.

A beautiful story to quote:
Water bottles and Coca-Cola bottles both contain liquids. But when we shake a water bottle and then open the cap, water comes out normally as usual.
However, if we shake a Coca-Cola bottle and then open it, the gas-filled liquid comes out with force and everything gets spilled.
This is a perfect example of response and reaction. The water responded to the shaking and came out calmly, but the Coca-Cola reacted—the sudden release of pressure causes the gas to rapidly expand, potentially leading to the liquid and foam being forcefully expelled, resulting in a spray or even a geyser-like eruption. This is the reaction of Coca-Cola to shaking.

Response is silent; reaction is noisy.
In life, to avoid problems in relationships, we all must practice responding to situations and people's words. When we react, it worsens the problem and situations go out of control. In moments of anger, we usually tend to react to people's words. It gives instant relief when we talk back, but later on, our peace of mind is gone—because when we show anger, we are burning ourselves more than others.

Let's be like a water bottle—no matter what rubbish people talk or whatever situation arises, let's be calm and flow silently towards our goals. Let our success make noise like Coca-Cola.
At the end of the day, we live with ourselves more, and our peace of mind and energy should be utilised for good—not drained by useless people and their nasty thoughts.

 

 
By Divya
Divya is a resident of Salikeri in Brahmavara working as a guest lecturer in Goliangadi Pre-university College. She has completed her M Com with KSET in 2023 . She is passionate about teaching, training and writing articles to inspire youths and society.
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