The Best Way of Parenting

December 6, 2022

What is the best way of parenting? Parenting is a very noble, divine, and also a very unique activity, which could be beyond all prompting and nothing can substitute it. No one can explain and elaborate fully the way parents should fulfil their task of parenting the best way. Nevertheless, following few reflections on the topic can enlighten the parents regarding their indispensable and august career.

Dear parents, you need to be aware that you play a pivotal role in your children’s life. You are the pillars of support, guidance, and love. Family is the place, where life begins and love never ends. No matter how old you are, there’s nothing more comforting and soothing to your children than the embrace around the arms of their parents. It is therefore natural that you wish and desire to parent your children the best way.

If you ask the question, what is the best way you can go about doing that, here are few hints: first one is to work upon yourself a little bit, namely, spend sufficient time with yourself. Look at yourself carefully, how you are, how you sit, how you stand, how you speak, what you do and what you don’t do! I think you must observe and inspect yourself very carefully, because the children are picking up everything rapidly and they will observe everything from parents, and they will exaggerate everything that you are doing.

One most important thing is to try to conduct yourself in such a way that you yourself like it. Somebody may not approve that, but it does not matter; at least you conduct yourself in such way that you like the way you are and know that your children observe everything you do. The growth and development of a child is rooted in their parents. A parent thereby acts as a visionary to their children. Parent - child relationship, is the first step towards wise parenting. Failing to give proper guidance, love, acceptance, affection, support, care, can seriously affect a child’s life and can have serious impacts that can lead to character defects.

Here, I would like to share few points regarding the role of parents in a child's life.

(i) Develop skills

Parenting is a never - ending skill. Once you sign for it there’s no looking back. Parenting and child development are in a symbiotic relationship. Nobody but the parents are the most influential characters in their children’s life and they model them. And this is the basic rule of every parent-child relationship. Parents contribute to the cognitive, socio- cultural, physical, mental, and spiritual development of the child. Parental values and expertise play a vital role in the healthy upbringing of children in all the areas of their life.

(ii) You should know to say “NO” to children whenever it is needed

Whenever you think you should say NO to your child, just say it. As a parent you do not need to give into whatever they ask or demand. Saying no is an important responsibility for parents.

(iii) Example is the best teacher

Children will always follow what their parents do, not what their parents say. If they see you spending a lot of your time on gadgets, they will do the same. Instead, lead by example and focus on cultivating healthy habits for yourself (like reading, gardening, cycling, etc.), so as to encourage your children to follow the same habits. As parents you should limit the time you spend on gadgets (especially, the phone!) in the vicinity of your Children as they are very sensitive. When they hear a NO for toys, favourite food/dress, electronics or simply anything they wish to have, they willingly say YES, if it corresponds to your life. If they see that you do not practice what you demand from them, they will revolt or keep a grudge or just obey out of fear. We cannot blame them as they don’t have the maturity to understand situations and the contexts. It is the responsibility of yours, as parents to explain to your children why they cannot have or cannot do certain things at certain times. Of course this requires a lot of patience. But let them know that they cannot get everything they desire but be careful to provide them with what they need. The difference they should learn from your actual life style.

(iv) Be strict with rules

As a responsible parent, you need to ensure that your child has a healthy lifestyle and healthy habits. Make tough decisions and put your foot down on limiting unhealthy habits like too much TV/computer time, no matter the pleading and cajoling. Make sure to explain to them the reasoning behind your decision.

(v) Set a daily limit on screen time

Allocate an appropriate amount of screen time for your child, irrespective of the gadget. Give your children the option to watch TV, use the computer, etc. and let them choose what time of the day they can use the gadgets. This gives them a sense of freedom and involves them in making decisions too. In case time is extended then there should be punishment, punishment like limiting the screen time next day. If a particular child is fixed on time allotted, reward her with appropriate words of praise and appreciation.

(vi) Involve kids in other activities

To limit gadget addiction, it is important to use different resources within your children’s reach that attract their curiosity. Involve your children in enriching activities like reading aloud sessions, music, sports sessions, board games, art and craft time, etc.

(vii) Limit the number of gadgets in the house

When buying gadgets, try and limit the total number of gadgets in the house keeping the usability and affordability in mind. The kids don’t really need the latest version of every game or laptop. Try and be consistent with your right to decide from the very beginning, and for yourself too! Also try and limit the number of visible gadgets in the house. For example, the particular game can remain in the playroom cupboard through the day until play-time.

(viii) Spend maximum time with Your Kids

This may sound too simplistic, but spending quality time with children is necessary. So, take the initiative to spend enough time with your kids and do things that interest them from playing with dolls to playing hide and seek. Buy some story books which you can read together.

(ix) Avoid using gadgets as crutches

It is easy to hand the child a cell-phone or turn on the TV to keep him occupied and get your own work done. However, the little things matter more than you think, after a point these gadgets might become an addiction that distract your child from other activities! Instead, be involved, ask what they want to do and listen to what they have to say. Try and get the help of your partner, parents, or grandparents or paid help when needed.

(x) Maintain ‘Gadget-Free’ areas and time during the day

From the dining table at dinner time to the play room, certain areas of the house should be marked as ‘gadget-free’. Here, the whole family is not allowed to use any gadgets at all. This will ensure your child understands the importance of other activities in relation to gadgets.

(xi) Praise your child’s efforts

Finally, it is important to praise your child’s efforts when he/she makes the effort to prioritize other activities over screen time, of his own accord. Praising positive behaviour will encourage your child to continue doing it!

(xii) Involve your children in household chores

Involve them in the maintenance of your residence and surroundings. Expose them to small works like keeping the plates in the sink, folding the bedsheets, cleaning and keeping tidy their own room and the like. This will help them to develop fine motor-skills and a sense of belongingness, attitude of helping others, caring and sharing with others.

(xiii) Healthy competition may go to develop the personality of children

But competitions should be on exposing the talents and never to prove ones superiority over others. For this, avoid comparing your children with other neighbourhood children. Encourage and praise what your child has done and achieved. Do not compare your child’s achievements with others. Often parents inquire about other children in the school and in the neighbourhood. What they have scored, how many prizes they got, etc. Never compare your child with other children. Every child is unique like a flower, every flower is beautiful its own way. Nobody can say rose is better than sun flower. Sun flower also has its own beauty, its own colour, smell and it is different from other flowers. So, every child is like a flower by herself or himself. Many parents have a bad habit of comparing the academic marks of their children with those of neighbours. Encourage your child to do its best and appreciate for the marks it has obtained. That will develop the self-confidence of your child to do better next time.


As parents, we need to understand what’s good for our children and what is not, from the moment they are our children. The proper role of the parent is to provide encouragement, support, and access to activities that enable the child to foster key talents and their own capacities. A parent is the child's first teacher and need to be so throughout.




By Dr Sr Judy Lewis
To submit your article / poem / short story to Daijiworld, please email it to mentioning 'Article/poem submission for daijiworld' in the subject line. Please note the following:

  • The article / poem / short story should be original and previously unpublished in other websites except in the personal blog of the author. We will cross-check the originality of the article, and if found to be copied from another source in whole or in parts without appropriate acknowledgment, the submission will be rejected.
  • The author of the poem / article / short story should include a brief self-introduction limited to 500 characters and his/her recent picture (optional). Pictures relevant to the article may also be sent (optional), provided they are not bound by copyright. Travelogues should be sent along with relevant pictures not sourced from the Internet. Travelogues without relevant pictures will be rejected.
  • In case of a short story / article, the write-up should be at least one-and-a-half pages in word document in Times New Roman font 12 (or, about 700-800 words). Contributors are requested to keep their write-ups limited to a maximum of four pages. Longer write-ups may be sent in parts to publish in installments. Each installment should be sent within a week of the previous installment. A single poem sent for publication should be at least 3/4th of a page in length. Multiple short poems may be submitted for single publication.
  • All submissions should be in Microsoft Word format or text file. Pictures should not be larger than 1000 pixels in width, and of good resolution. Pictures should be attached separately in the mail and may be numbered if the author wants them to be placed in order.
  • Submission of the article / poem / short story does not automatically entail that it would be published. Daijiworld editors will examine each submission and decide on its acceptance/rejection purely based on merit.
  • Daijiworld reserves the right to edit the submission if necessary for grammar and spelling, without compromising on the author's tone and message.
  • Daijiworld reserves the right to reject submissions without prior notice. Mails/calls on the status of the submission will not be entertained. Contributors are requested to be patient.
  • The article / poem / short story should not be targeted directly or indirectly at any individual/group/community. Daijiworld will not assume responsibility for factual errors in the submission.
  • Once accepted, the article / poem / short story will be published as and when we have space. Publication may take up to four weeks from the date of submission of the write-up, depending on the number of submissions we receive. No author will be published twice in succession or twice within a fortnight.
  • Time-bound articles (example, on Mother's Day) should be sent at least a week in advance. Please specify the occasion as well as the date on which you would like it published while sending the write-up.

Comment on this article

  • Shalini, Udupi

    Wed, Dec 14 2022

    Informative article for parents.

  • J. Crasto, Mangalore

    Tue, Dec 13 2022

    Excellent guidelines point by point By Dr Sr Judy Lewis. If it was so easy to go with our grown up children this world would have a nice place for every parent. It is not easy. now a days grown up children doesn't mind to leave their parents and go away if you are very strict with them. If you don't want to breakup relationship then Sr we have to think several times to say anything for their good.

  • Babita, Bangalore /Mangalore

    Sun, Dec 11 2022

    Wonderful article and beautifully explained to understand what is parenting.

  • Tom Cat, Rishi Kesh

    Sun, Dec 11 2022

    why are Catholics parents and children dim cause they bought up to follow someone who has very little experience . How can someone who has no experience married life guide parenting based on theory which is not possible practically.

  • Fr. Maxim Nazareth, Capuchin, Nitte

    Fri, Dec 09 2022

    The article 'The Best Way of Parenting' is precise and very informative. It may help parents to understand that they themselves are role models to their children. Congratulations Sr. Judy.

  • Reena Demllo, Mumbai

    Fri, Dec 09 2022

    Congratulation sister you have brought out a amazing article surly this would help a useful resource for the future generation.

  • Joswin, Mumbai

    Fri, Dec 09 2022

    Congratulation sr. Judy. Very well written and informative.

  • Latha, Bangalore

    Thu, Dec 08 2022

    Dear sister Judy congrats for the informative article which gives lots o message to deal with kids. Very helpful and good one.

  • Fr Vincent D Souza, Capuchin, Mogarnad

    Wed, Dec 07 2022

    Dear Sr Dr Judy, Thanks a lot for this beautiful article on Parenting. It is really nice, especially the practical guidelines on Perenting. You have highlighted the Present situation of the Children and the effective ways of handling the problems of Parenting. The article will be beneficial to the Parents as well as children. Hoping to have more articles on this topic in the future. May God Bless you.

  • Fr Stany D' Souza SJ, New Delhi

    Wed, Dec 07 2022

    The article, 'The Best Way of Parenting', is very informative. I am sure, it will help many parents to guide their children. The core of the article seems to be, to raise children, parents have to raise themselves. Congratulations Sr Judy!

  • Daniel, Mangalore

    Wed, Dec 07 2022

    Good article. But more on why to control or restrict access to TV or mass media specially for children... Following interesting parts of Divine message to Enoch on ongoing liberal communist brainwash going on TV, cartoons, media in the west. (Mostly for promoting their liberal thinking but covertly to divide the families, society, nations and rule.)... "People of mine, the gender ideology is causing confusion and problems of sexual identity in millions of children and young people. This demonic trend is being taught in kindergartens, schools, colleges and other educational institutions; my little ones are being indoctrinated, making them believe that neither sex nor gender exist; that you can be male or female at the same time and they are telling girls and young women the same. ///// This indoctrination is causing sexual trauma and identity problems in many children and young people. Remember what my Word says: and God created man in his image, in the image of God created him and created them male and female; and God blessed them, saying unto them, Be fertile and multiply (Genesis 1.27-28). I created them male and female and made them different physically, psychologically and sexually. I did not create hermaphrodites, but men and women, so that they would procreate and multiply and thus would extend the human species. A man can never be a woman, nor can a woman be a man; the essence with which they were created is male and female. which also applies to the other creatures."

  • Jason, Uk

    Wed, Dec 07 2022

    Very informative article.

  • Fr Richard Mascarenhas SJ, Puttur/Bhadravathi

    Wed, Dec 07 2022

    Congratulations dear Sr Judy. It is a very well written article. The language is simple and very much inviting to read. You have said what has to be said. You are also straightforward and done your job well. I do agree with you that today's parents lack proper skills to form their own children. They seem to be saying "no time" to pay attention to their children's need. Work and other commitments have become more important than their children. It is very sad situation... !

  • Joachim D Souza, Mogarnad

    Wed, Dec 07 2022

    The role of the Parents in the well being of Children is a crucial one in this modern technical and gadgeted world. Today's children are very smart and intelligent but some times over smart. Parent should know how to handle these children by care concern and with positive Discipline. The Article is directing towards this aim. Congratulations Sr Judy Lewis for the timely and thought provoking article.

  • Mangalurian, Mangaluru

    Wed, Dec 07 2022

    Thank you for the article. Based on what I have heard from many parents, there are two lots of children: pre-puberty (0 to about 12) and puberty-plus (about 12 and later). All parents appear to be very successful with their pre-puberty children - whether in setting rules or demanding total obedience. But the parents everywhere seem to be failing miserably with the puberty-plus children. These demand independence and non-interference from the parents. They want the pocket money but cannot be forced to obey! They demand the gadgets and internet access, but will not allow the parents to have a peek at what they get into! Many of them go into the 'Goblin mode' (Oxford Dictionary' word of 2022). So, I would like to meet the parents who have say 16-year-olds and are successful with the advice in the article.

  • Veena, Israel

    Wed, Dec 07 2022

    Very excellent article.

  • mohan prabhu, mangalore/canada

    Tue, Dec 06 2022

    Good advice to parents. Especially, keep telephones/What's App away from them so they do not get addicted and experiment when they are older AND get into all kinds of complications that are reported in the Daijiworld, wich their parents are ignorant of. BTW, missed your short, excellent articles and wondered where you have disappeared!

  • Syed Wajeed, Bengaluru

    Tue, Dec 06 2022

    Excellent Sr. Judy

  • Beatrice Sequeira, Bengaluru

    Tue, Dec 06 2022

    Congratulations!!!! sr Judy, Very well written and need of the hour. As a teacher I know how difficult it is to keep the students engaged other than there’ gadgets. Keep up the good work.

Leave a Comment

Title: The Best Way of Parenting

You have 2000 characters left.


Please write your correct name and email address. Kindly do not post any personal, abusive, defamatory, infringing, obscene, indecent, discriminatory or unlawful or similar comments. will not be responsible for any defamatory message posted under this article.

Please note that sending false messages to insult, defame, intimidate, mislead or deceive people or to intentionally cause public disorder is punishable under law. It is obligatory on Daijiworld to provide the IP address and other details of senders of such comments, to the authority concerned upon request.

Hence, sending offensive comments using daijiworld will be purely at your own risk, and in no way will be held responsible.