WAY Over the Top!

  •   Thu, Apr 21 2022
  •   By Anil Aron Victor D'Souza

April 21, 2022

Sitting in one of my favorite pizza places in town, I scanned the menu on my phone and handed it over to my wife. This is the new trend and I think it is here to stay. I think the day is not far, when fancy restaurants will make their patrons “assist the chef” by selecting the ingredients on their phones. Well, phones have found a prominent place on the dining table. Haven’t they?

The menu was very extensive, yet every ingredient used in the dish was elaborately mentioned, just for the sake of people with allergies. So thoughtful!

Then my nightmare began. The waiter arrived!

Quite elegantly dressed in his white overalls, his name tag is still fresh in my mind. His knowledge and enthusiasm towards Italian food showed as soon as he opened his mouth.

“Would you like to start with our chef recommend antipasti, Sir?” he asked.

“Wow” I exclaimed under my breath. The fellow was polished. What the hell was he doing, waiting tables?

He looked at me for an answer.

“No, we are allergic to antipasti,” I replied.

“All of it, sir?” I could clearly see him laughing inside his N95 mask and his eyes did not hide them either.

I did not know squat about Italian food- all I knew, just like many others was Pizza and Pasta and I had somehow managed to get by the past decade without any problems, like the one I was facing now. What the hell was antipasti?

“Some of it and she is allergic to the rest” Like all good husbands, I pushed the blame towards the better half.

The overenthusiastic waiter now turned his attention towards Verina, who looked at me with daggers in her eyes.

“Yes madam, would you like to start with chicken wings fried with our very own homemade sauce” he paused, glanced at me and continued his conversation with Verina “I am sure, you are not allergic to chicken.”

“No. I am not” Verina replied.

Antipasti is what we call starters in common man’s vernacular. I hated this man. Antipasti for me became starters for her! I had to get back at him.

Before he could open his mouth, I asked “What is this homemade sauce made up of?” The dialogue from SRK’s terrible, yet hit movie came to my mind “Don’t underestimate the power of the common man”. I wasn’t expecting him to know the answer and a smile blossomed onto my lips. Short-lived!

He replied with a sense of accomplishment “Sir, it is made of garlic, pepper and butter, along with a pinch of chilly powder”.

“Oh bummer. She is allergic to butter” I smiled.

“No worries, madam, let me understand what you are allergic to?” This fellow was a calm and composed genius.

If I was him, I would have taken the order and probably my guests would be eating those lovely garlic butter chicken wings, by now.

Without allowing either of us to speak, he continued his investigation “Gluten, I am sure”

She nodded.

“Dairy too?” he questioned.

She nodded again.

“So, let me recommend you…” he went on to list a few items which suited Verina.

He knew about my wife’s allergies more than what I knew. I was jealous.

“Sir, I am sure, you are ok with the order”. I wasn’t left out, after all.

I wanted to cancel everything on the list, but whatever he recommended sounded good. I didn’t have any allergies, or at least I didn’t know what I was allergic to, yet.

Whatever he served us was delicious, I must agree.

But somewhere in between of being courteous and being over enthusiastic, I guess he lost his plot “Madam, this does not have dairy” he repeatedly assured my wife as he served every dish. “Sir, this is gluten free” he reminded me as I was cutting through some of the food. As Verina helped herself from the bowl, this fellow was present guiding her through the ingredients of the product. Even as I took a serving, the fellow popped up like some omnipresent Italian God of allergy.

Already having ruined my peace of mind whilst sowing seeds of jealousy in me, he ruined my meal as well. Verina too agreed with me.

The root of all this, was exposed only when the bill arrived. Back to the bloody phone which shamelessly grabbed attention again. All the fellow wanted was a 5-star rating on Zomato.

“Sir, could I get a rating please” he requested, as I used my 20% discount on Zomato.

“Oh shoot. I am allergic to Zomato” I said and stormed out of the restaurant.

 

 

 
By Anil Aron Victor D'Souza
To submit your article / poem / short story to Daijiworld, please email it to news@daijiworld.com mentioning 'Article/poem submission for daijiworld' in the subject line. Please note the following:

  • The article / poem / short story should be original and previously unpublished in other websites except in the personal blog of the author. We will cross-check the originality of the article, and if found to be copied from another source in whole or in parts without appropriate acknowledgment, the submission will be rejected.
  • The author of the poem / article / short story should include a brief self-introduction limited to 500 characters and his/her recent picture (optional). Pictures relevant to the article may also be sent (optional), provided they are not bound by copyright. Travelogues should be sent along with relevant pictures not sourced from the Internet. Travelogues without relevant pictures will be rejected.
  • In case of a short story / article, the write-up should be at least one-and-a-half pages in word document in Times New Roman font 12 (or, about 700-800 words). Contributors are requested to keep their write-ups limited to a maximum of four pages. Longer write-ups may be sent in parts to publish in installments. Each installment should be sent within a week of the previous installment. A single poem sent for publication should be at least 3/4th of a page in length. Multiple short poems may be submitted for single publication.
  • All submissions should be in Microsoft Word format or text file. Pictures should not be larger than 1000 pixels in width, and of good resolution. Pictures should be attached separately in the mail and may be numbered if the author wants them to be placed in order.
  • Submission of the article / poem / short story does not automatically entail that it would be published. Daijiworld editors will examine each submission and decide on its acceptance/rejection purely based on merit.
  • Daijiworld reserves the right to edit the submission if necessary for grammar and spelling, without compromising on the author's tone and message.
  • Daijiworld reserves the right to reject submissions without prior notice. Mails/calls on the status of the submission will not be entertained. Contributors are requested to be patient.
  • The article / poem / short story should not be targeted directly or indirectly at any individual/group/community. Daijiworld will not assume responsibility for factual errors in the submission.
  • Once accepted, the article / poem / short story will be published as and when we have space. Publication may take up to four weeks from the date of submission of the write-up, depending on the number of submissions we receive. No author will be published twice in succession or twice within a fortnight.
  • Time-bound articles (example, on Mother's Day) should be sent at least a week in advance. Please specify the occasion as well as the date on which you would like it published while sending the write-up.

Leave a Comment

Title: WAY Over the Top!



You have 2000 characters left.

Disclaimer:

Please write your correct name and email address. Kindly do not post any personal, abusive, defamatory, infringing, obscene, indecent, discriminatory or unlawful or similar comments. Daijiworld.com will not be responsible for any defamatory message posted under this article.

Please note that sending false messages to insult, defame, intimidate, mislead or deceive people or to intentionally cause public disorder is punishable under law. It is obligatory on Daijiworld to provide the IP address and other details of senders of such comments, to the authority concerned upon request.

Hence, sending offensive comments using daijiworld will be purely at your own risk, and in no way will Daijiworld.com be held responsible.