Guide your Children onto Right Path

August 7, 2021

 “Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it…. Proverbs 22:6”

As many of us have realized raising children is one of the toughest, but also one of the most fulfilling jobs in the world, the one for which many of us feel least prepared. In fact, we need to keep learning “on the job”.

What does it mean to guide a child? Guidance is to help the children inculcate acceptable behaviour in a variety of settings. It is the ways we help children to know what it means to be a member of our community. It means helping the children to learn from their mistakes and make positive choices. It is also important to realize that guidance is not punishment.

Discipline is necessary in every household: Be kind and firm at the same time. Establish house rules, for instance, when one parent is correcting a child, the other should not interfere and so on; do not give in to the child’s pleas, tears, demands or pouting. Your child will learn to respect you more if you mean what you say. The goal of discipline is to help children choose acceptable behaviors. Children may test the limits you establish for them but they need limits to grow into responsible adults. A child must know that he/she is loved unconditionally no matter what he/she does. Never tell a child that he/she is bad. When a child does something wrong, give them a chance to make corrections. When your child does something right, praise her/him. Be generous with rewards-your love, hugs and compliments can work wonders.

Make your children self-reliant – make them do little things, like helping to clear the table, fetching vegetables from the fridge and so on which will make them feel important.

Respect your child. Apologize if you have made a mistake and express thanks when they have helped you.

Develop healthy eating habits from a Young Age. Consuming food on time is equally important. Try to have at least one meal with the family every day.

Be a good role model: Children are like a sponge. They learn a great deal about how to act by watching you. The younger they are, the more cues they take from you. Be constantly aware that you are being observed by your children. We have to be fair and honest.

It’s the behaviour, discipline and efforts of parents which guide the children on the right path. With so many demands on your time, it’s often difficult for parents to spend time with children, but it is the quality and not the quantity of time that is important.

As a parent in spite of your hectic schedule, you should read along with your child on regular basis at least for one hour. It is a good idea to talk about a story you are reading. Good stories will encourage children to develop a love for reading.

In today’s modern competitive life, it is very important to train children to digest disappointments, denials and refusals. So have the courage to say 'no' to your children. Children must be taught to take a `no’, not only from parents but also friends, teachers, neighbours and even strangers.

Today’s children are children of Abundance. They have an abundance of everything, ranging from toys, games, electronic gadgets, sweets and chocolates. Over pampered children cannot take disappointments in the right spirit. As parents we should not give the children more than what is needed because we need to prepare them for the rough and the smooth in life. Don’t allow your children to spend too much time on mobiles. Monitor them when they are on internet. Children need consistency, routine and boundaries.

Parent’s fears for their children’s safety, if extreme, can have an adverse effect on their children’s confidence and self-esteem. By molly-coddling a child, a parent is only making the child more dependent and inhibiting their attempts to learn to do things by themselves. Overprotective parents unintentionally send out a message to their children that they are incapable of handling things by themselves. In addition, the parents’ fears transmit themselves to the children who, in turn, begin to perceive dangers lurking in every new activity and experience.

Children need limits and choices. If every whim and fancy of the child is entertained, the child grows up to be a very self-centered person. Even a single `no’ can put him or her off balance. Such children take their whims to an illogical extent. Children need to be taught to share and care for others and make small sacrifices in life. It will help them reach greater heights.

Teach your children to give respect. They must follow the “Give respect and take respect” policy. We need to teach the children basic manners and teach them how to respect their elders, teachers and parents.

Take your children for outings and picnics during holidays. Visit your parents and let the children spend plenty of time with their grandparents. It will teach them to respect the elderly, understand their needs, and garner some wisdom from the experiences of the seniors of the family.

Going to bed at a regular time and getting up early in the morning, regular physical exercises, outdoor games and sports, punctuality and perfection in deeds will mould them into responsible and disciplined human beings.

As children grow older, they need to be given guidance; however, they should be allowed to choose their own careers. They should not be pressurized to pursue professional courses they are not interested in. The interests of parents should not be imposed on them.

But remember as parents even we too need to take a break for our relaxation.

Teachers play a significant role in the development of children. Teachers, while being kind and friendly to their students should not over indulge them. The words of the teachers are like gospel teachings to children, so parents need their help in bringing up children. As people contributing to developing our future generation, the teachers have a great responsibility. They need to be supported by the parents and management, when they give corrections to the children for committing mistakes or else the children will develop false confidence.

Preschool teachers play an important role in guiding the behavior of young children. Recognizing the young children’s strengths, temperaments, skills, development and family culture, teachers should frame approaches and strategies to support and influence their behavior. In essence, the teacher must help to maintain a relationship based approach to guide young children’s behavior while meeting their needs. Family priorities affect the children’s behavior. For example, talking and expressing emotions or keeping emotions quiet and private. Preschool teacher need to be sensitive and respectful of these differences in socio-emotional development when engaging with children and their families.

Even the neighbours, peers and friends influence on children’s behavior. Guide them in choosing friends and in the mannerisms of interacting with neighbours and friend. Advise them on being rational while following the behavior and advices of their friends.

“When your children desire to talk to you and share their problems with you, stop everything and listen to them. There is nothing more important than that.” – unknown.

In conclusion, we need to train and bring up our children in all aspects – socially, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually. It is not enough to be a human being, it’s important to be a good person.

 

 

 

 

By Dr Leo Francis Tauro
Dr Leo Francis Tauro (MBBS, MS (General Surgery), Dip.lap) is a professor and unit head, Former HOD, department of General Surgery, Father Muller Medical College. He practices as general and laparoscopic surgeon at Immanuel building, 1st Floor, Opp KFC, Near HDFC Bank, Kadri Shivabagh circle, Mangaluru 575002. Clinic 0824 2222877, 9686752877, Mobile: 9845108186
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Comment on this article

  • Dr.Thangam Verghese Joshua, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 29 2021

    Very well written guidelines for good parenting...essential if we are to have the the blessing of seeing another generation of compassionate, grounded and responsible adults . Emphasis on parents being the true role models to their children is very appropriate and true and definitely the need of the hour. Congratulations Dr. Leo for penning those thoughts....proud of you.

  • Dr. Thangam Verghese Joshua, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 29 2021

    Very practical guidelines on good parenting...much needed in this period of time , if we are to see a future generation of level headed ,compassionate , responsible adults . Emphasis is on the parent being a role model. Very well written , Dr Leo Tauro....Congratulations ! Proud of you !

  • Udaykumar Habbu, Kinnigoli

    Sat, Aug 21 2021

    The article is a practical tips to parents as to how to train their children nia system and make them learn manners and etiquettes. Every aspect of child growth including food habits and regular sleep time and waking up time. The role of teachers is also how hilighted. Totally the article is very useful for parents teachers. Showing respect to the elders can be taught by visiting grandparents house. Thank you doctor.

  • Fr Shaun Rodrigues, Cordel

    Mon, Aug 16 2021

    The article is realistic in its approach. ‘We’ feeling is brought out in contrary to the individualistic attitude and living. Rights and duties of both parents and children are highlighted and given equal importance. Language used is really standard and comprehensible. The article envisages a comprehensive outlook on the formation of the children in the present scenario. The writer has made observations from the point of parents and children. Parents also have valuable tips in forming their children. A suggestion: As the readers of this article is limited in as sense it is focused to English speaking parents, this article could be translated in Kannada and in Konkani.

  • Dr. Josephine Nirmala, Bangalore

    Mon, Aug 16 2021

    Hearty Congratulations Sir. It's a well written article. It's a must read for young adults and parents. Each point you have mentioned rightly plays an important role in the holistic development of the child. Looking forward to more articles in the future.

  • Fr. Francis Gomes, CODP, Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 16 2021

    Dear Dr. Your message is timely to the parents and infact the parents have to keep on learning as the son/daughter learns. Learning is a process you parent learn and teach your child to learn right from the beginning and their mistakes, failures, faults is to be corrected positively, you be a role model and that the child follows. You be a mentor. First help your son/daughter to be humane and teach them. Secondly your efforts to make them look learned social beings. Thirdly restrict the use of mobile, laptop and even the TV and guide them to sleep minimum eight hours, this is life support system and the public health challenge is going to be stopped. Congrats and compliments for your excellant write up which is going to help all the parents hats off. I am forwarding the same message to my known parents, kindly permit me. I am sorry for the delay. Excuse me.

  • Fr. Antony Lopez, Cap., jcd., Honavar / Kuwait

    Fri, Aug 13 2021

    My dear Dr. Leo Tauro, After reading your write up, I am really surprised to know your psychological experiential and practical knowledge of how to bring up children in a balanced and healthy manner. The tips, suggestions, advice, and guidance you wrote in the article is very important and good in the present worldly situation. Since I know you personally for so many years, I have no doubt that you have written not with a bookish knowledge but with your concrete practical and deeply rooted Catholic Faith and Tradition. Congratulations Dr. Leo Tauro and wish you every success to come up more and more standard and quality of such writing that parents and children grow up in a healthy environment with morals and ethics. You have done justice to your article. I liked it very much. Again, congratulations. With blessings. Your friend, Rev. Dr. Antony Lopez, OFM Cap, Chancellor and Judicial Vicar, Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar and Saudi Arabia.

  • Vally Menezes, Mangalore

    Thu, Aug 12 2021

    Dr Leo, a timely and a relevant article with profound substance. The article deals with one of the most critical issues of the time - formation of the children at home. Your ideas and thoughts, coupled with your own experience of bringing up your sons makes the article very appealing. Keep writing!!!

  • Alex Ivan Sequeira, Madantyar, Belthangady Taluk

    Tue, Aug 10 2021

    Very nice article Dr.Leo. Its applicable to the present day situation. Most of the parents at present fail to understand their children. Parents expect a chid to excel in everything withot understanding his/her potential which creates a lot of stress on thechildren. There are nice tips in the article for the parents. Nice effort 👌

  • Rev .Fr Richard Aloysius Coelho, Director, Father Muller Charitable Institutions , Kankanady, Mangalore

    Tue, Aug 10 2021

    Dear Dr Leo congratulations a well written article on children's growth , behavior and training. It will be an eye opener for many parents who do not correct their children, give whatever they ask for or pamper them. This article will help many parents to guide their children in the right direction specially listening to them and making spend more time with elders and grand parents which will have a lot of positive strokes on children. All the best Dr Leo. May these positive comments inspire you to write more on responsibility of the parents in their children's growth.

  • Dr MS Baliga, Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 09 2021

    Dr Leo has written a very important aspect that is currently neglected in quite a few houses. Either we are too strict or too lenient to our children and these extremities do not auger well for children development. Dr Leo has lucidly written the nuances of the does and these work as ideal guidelines to imbibe in our life in up bringing of our children. Sincerely wish that this helps the many. Congratulations once again for a wonderful writeup Dr Leo

  • Mcqueen, Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 09 2021

    Well written Leo Sir. God bless Dr McQueen Mendonca

  • Rita Pais, Bondel, Mangaluru

    Mon, Aug 09 2021

    Very well written Dr Leo.

  • Dr.Udaykumar, Udupi

    Mon, Aug 09 2021

    Each word of the article to be remembered and followed. Read the article twice. Thanks for such wonderful article Sir

  • Suneeth Noronha, Katapadi/Kuwait

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Very well written Dr.Leo and a best advise to all the young parents .We look for more articles in near future .

  • Dr Manjunath, Mangaluru

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Very well written sir! Profound thoughts. A must read for all parents.

  • Dr Manjunath, Mangaluru

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Very well written sir! Profound thoughts. A must read for all parents.

  • Seema Saldanha, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Beautifully penned article Dr. Leo Tauro. Parenting is definitely a blessing and unconditional love, communication and flexibility in parenting methods go a long way in building lasting relationship with our children. Thanks for this article, Something different from your end this time. Waiting for some more of these- family bonding articles.

  • Fr Jeevan Tauro, Moodbidri

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Thanks Dr. Leo. Short and well written article. Pandemic has brough in many challanges in its train. Certianly your educative article will be useful for parents and teachers in thier noble task of parenting. God's blessings on your mission of teaching and healing.

  • Fr Jeevan Tauro, Moodbidri

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Thanks Dr. Leo. Short and well written article. Pandemic has brough in many challanges in its train. Certianly your educative article will be useful for parents and teachers in thier noble task of parenting. God's blessings on your mission of teaching and healing.

  • Manoj D’Silva, Bangalore/Melbourne

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Well written article Dr. Leo. More often than not, we find ourselves in these situations that you have captured in this well articulated article. Looking forward for more from you.

  • Dr. John J S Martis, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Congratulations Dr. Leo.Well written ,informative article.

  • Dr.Jacintha Martis, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Thought provoking article.Very well written.Congratulations.

  • Dr Urban DSouza, Udyavar /Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Very informative and educational write up. A role model part of every parent is always a successful path in nurturing our children to the right path. It is a timely article by Dr Leo. Our children are the future of our family and nation. Instead of accumulating wealth by parents for generations, it is better to inculcate the values of life. Congratulations to Dr Leo for the nice article.

  • Donald Maxim Saldanha, Belman/Derebail

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Widening generation gap, lack of proper communication with parents, mobile addiction, junk food, sedentary lifestyle etc are some of the issues that are affecting the present generation. Covid situation has worsened the already existing crisis. Education of children is worst affected. Dr Leo Tauro has given very valuable and practical suggestions and guidance. Thank you doctor

  • Jozef, Karkala

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Well written article. Really explains the reality how to guide, groom and grow children towards successful life.Very practically scripted article.

  • Donald Maxim Saldanha, Belman/Derebail

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Widening generation gap, lack of proper communication with the parents, mobile addiction, sedentary lifestyle are some of the issues that are affecting the present day children. Education of children is worst affected during this covid situation. Dr Leo Tauro has given practical suggestions to the parents in this very insightful article. Thank you doctor

  • Jozef, Karkala

    Sun, Aug 08 2021

    Well written article. Really explains the reality how to guide, groom and grow children towards successful life.Very practically scripted article.

  • Rai Rakesh, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Such a wonderful article sir so much needed in today’s world .

  • Sunil Furtado, Bangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Good one Dr Leo Tauro

  • Ambika Bhandary, Mangaluru

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    We’ll said sir, this article is worth a read

  • Dr RBS, Mangaluru

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Nice article sir Eye opener Informative And must read for all...

  • Dr. Kuldeep Moras, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Nice write up sir...enjoyed reading it on a weekend....every aspect explained very well.... very informative and to the point.....especially loved the way you started with the Proverb...God bless.....keep writing ✍....Regards Dr. Kuldeep Moras

  • Fr. Maxim Dsouza sdb, Trasi, Kundapura

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Congratulations Dr. Very well written article which is very useful for today's times. I wish more such insightful articles will come from you in future

  • Dr. Nishitha shetty, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Very informative article Leo sir. Thank you for sharing. Many times due to our multi tasking we lose our patience with our kids. Momentarily we shout at our babies only to feel guilty later. As parents we need to avoid such reactions. Another important aspect I had read in a book is that we should always praise the effort of our children rather than praising the end result. Thank you once again for this good read.

  • Dr Shreedhar, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Very well written by Dr Leo. Stressed relevant aspects . Thought provoking.

  • Ben D'Souza Prabhu, Mangalore, Bombay Bandra now in Canada

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    My dear friend, Dr Leo Tauro, you are very right. Bringing up children is not a joke, but bringing them in a right and correct way is the very essence in every Christian Life, specially these troubled days of atmosphere now. I specifically mentioned 'Christian Life', because of our faith and traditions; following the God loving as well as fearing Ways, by and large followed by the believers. We normally go on a right path, as a result, we bring up our children in a Way acceptable to us and our neighbours.Yes, there is a great need of discipline in our society now-a-days on account of external forces surrounding us all. THANK YOU VERY MUCH !!

  • Suneetha Rocha, Pune

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Well written Dr Leo Tauro. Good advice for the parents in bringing up their kids.

  • Dr Rohan D'Souza, Bejai, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Very insightful and informative article for the present Generation parents where there is lot of challenges for the upbringing Children. Dr Leo has rightfully highlighted important issues that trouble lot of parents nowadays and has given valuable advise which will help every parent to discipline their Children.

  • Stephen, Mumbai

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Very well said! Admiring to see your views on nurturing a kid and learning too while helping them grow. Self-reliance is a must and accepting failures in life is the most important thing to be learnt now a days. In this busy world parents and children should come to a common ground and communicate with each other. Thank you for writing every detail. Much Appreciated!

  • Zeena Saldanha, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Nice article Dr Leo and very informative to all parents while dealing with their kids .Well written considering your own experience .Looking forward for more articles .God bless u and ur family 🙏

  • Dr Rohan Shetty, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Very well written... infact these things should be stressed more.. reminded often.

  • John, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Wonderful advise to parents. In additional some religious upbringing also required. See, how communists and socialists have already destroyed family culture in the west with introduction of addictions to substances, porn, abortion, same sex and now no gender ideology. This happens when there is no religious teaching and prayers. Now looks like they are culling using virus and vaccines for easier control or bring down world population to bring their godless new world order thru this great reset. Do modern children join parent or elderly in prayers or addiction to games, mobile and t v stop them either going to worship places or joing family prayers ? Next generation will know nothing about God so God also allows this (said this is a last generation) to segregate good and evil or sheep and goat (Matthew Ch 25) to bring 1000 years of peace, soon, as mentioned in Book of Revelation chapter 20.

  • Ronald Tauro, Kadri Kaibattal, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Wonderful article, well written and a true message to all the modern parents from a well practicing what is written in the article. God bless 🙌you Dr. Leo and protect you. Keep writing inspite of your packed schedule. Kudos

  • Joylene, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Excellent article . Appropriately covered all aspects of bringing up children - a must read for new parents - simply , straight and complete. Thank your for sharing your experience and knowledge sir.

  • Dr Erel Diaz, Mangaluru

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Nice Article Dr Leo - Congratulations!!!! Both parents and Children should read this .

  • Marina Mascarenhas, Bola, belman

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Fabulously written. This article has many keywords for parents to guide their children onto right path in this challenging world.

  • Anna Rego, Kadri, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Excellent write up with practical guidelines which helps parents in upbringing their child/children to be a disciplined,respectful & responsible individual of the moder challenging society. Thank you Dr.Leo for this amazing article !! An inspiration to every parent.

  • Zita D'Souza, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Well written article Dr Leo. Kudos to the proud father and the excellent writer. The article has popped up at the right time where the children and parents can actually spend a lot of time together. Thanks to covid. You have indeed given valuable suggestions. Let the parents be firm arrows and children be the bows sent forth far and wide by the arrows. Be blessed and continue the good work.

  • Henry J. Pinto, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Congratulations Dr. Leo for your timely inspiring article. You seem to have given your tips from your experience. Hopeit will be a guiding force to many parents. God bless.

  • Dr. Edward L Nazareth, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Being a proud Dad of two growing children, Dr. Leo has expressed valuable information in a simple way..Nice write up. Very practical and guiding.

  • Fr Antony Shera, Nanthur, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Dear Dr Leo, its really a great article. Since I know you well I can say that you have written here your own personal experience in your family. That’s really great! Parents have a great role in moulding their children. Parents should be the best models to their children. This point is very well seen in your article and also in your life. Children learn values in the school and if they find a role model in their parents they will be happy and blessed in their life. I really appreciate your article. Hope it will help many parents. God bless you.

  • Plaviyan Nazareth, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Well done doctor.... Superb Article

  • Anil Danthy, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 07 2021

    Well written...kudos to you Dr Leo Tauro. Every thought here weighed a heavyweight me because they carried a lot of experience of seeing practical situations. Of late, though we look for positivity in rural areas it's not so...the breeze of bring trendy and being fashionable has spoiled them too. That's why this made me very much akert.


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