Bottled up Emotions

January 17, 2018

Bottled up Emotions

I have been told all my life that the inner beauty is what makes you beautiful.

Until the day I was called unfit to be loved by a man because my waist wasn't an hourglass shape and my thighs were too cellulite.

Until I was told put on some make up, tanned face is what men shudder.

Until I was told to not wear clothes that make me look fat.

I was 15.

I realised that the world is full of lies. Being beautiful is a part of life.

I put on some make up, kept the baggy clothes aside and wore uncomfortable clothes for people to love me.

The teenager sensed that the world does not accept ugly people.

Thanks to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat

I tried escaping from the pain

Adding filters was the only way.

Acceptable face with a with a couple of likes

With a puddle of comments

I felt loved.

Until I had to return to the same old lot that called me ugly.

Going back and forth thinking I'm pretty and then I'm not.

I had a sound opinion with a muted voice.

I grew up, and realised that people judged not only looks but also choice.

Banker sounded more wise when I would actually be better off as a writer.

And here I am scrubbing my face with haldi and face creams because fair and lovely is the dream.

Hiding emotions and wetting pillows every night. All grown up but there's a child inside.

Here I am, succumbing to despair!

When can I actually stand out and break the silence.

With the social anxiety and all the hurdles.

When will I come out of this trap.

When will people understand the colour and looks of someone is something they should not be looking for.

India is running out of people who treat humans fairly.

Let's break the solitude.

2017 was still the same.

Let our resolutions be different.

Let’s respect opinions and views.

Let’s head towards teaching our sons and daughters to respect humanity.

Let’s spread love and make a change in the society.


This new year, stay humble, work harder and be kind.


Vijetha Joyce Alva Archives:


Vijetha Joyce Alva
Department of Commerce,
Manipal University
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Comment on this article

  • ashok, Bantakal, Dubai

    Thu, Jan 25 2018

    Nice Poem Vijetha, Its difficult to find people who look in to inner beauty now a days.
    Keep writing.

  • Madhuri Suvarna, MUSCAT

    Thu, Jan 25 2018

    So beautifully penned and the reality of the world.
    Beauty does not lie in the eye of the beholder, but it lies with other factors.

  • Janet Dalmeida, Dubai

    Mon, Jan 22 2018

    Beautiful poem dear Vijetha...Keep writing..God bless

  • Devika, Mangalore

    Sat, Jan 20 2018

    Superb writing Vijetha Joyce Alva, the transition between the lines are so smooth anybody can understand the feeling what the person has gone through. The agony, dejection, what was felt is clearly mentioned. The introduction, body, and conclusion are good. Even the message what has to be learned out is loud and clear.
    Thank you for the wonderful insight. Yes, we have to respect the humanity instead, we go behind the beauty, but till when this beauty will be beside you? We have to teach our kids to respect the human as it is with any type of disabilities and flaws.

  • Ravikanth, Udupi

    Thu, Jan 18 2018

    Good one Vijetha..
    Keep writing, god bless u...

  • Avil Dalmeida, Dubai/Moodubelle

    Thu, Jan 18 2018

    Beautiful poem Vijetha...Keep writing..All the best Munna..

  • vincy, Pamboor, Padubelle

    Thu, Jan 18 2018

    Beautiful poem Vijetha. Speaks out your feelings and dilemmas. There are always two sides to life; darker and brighter. try to make the brighter side still brighter.

  • Denzil, Mangaluru/Bengaluru

    Wed, Jan 17 2018

    I could immediately think of a book recommendation on EQ and I found it a great read about checking on your emotions:

  • Vincilla, Dubai - UAE

    Wed, Jan 17 2018

    Just be your original self, don't let the world deter you from how beautiful God created you. Sparkle and shine in your uniqueness. We can start small by making a difference and telling people around us how unique and beautiful they are.

  • Flavy, Kateel/Muscat

    Wed, Jan 17 2018

    Dear VIjetha,
    Beautiful poem, very true and reality of life has come out of your heart to your pen, keep up your good work, your poems are Masterpeices!
    God Bless your Talent

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