A visit to CT Scan...

Sep 19, 2016

Who am I, Why am I have to suffer with God..

Are these not difficult combination of words from religious vocabulary to human vocabulary ?. The subject has been disturbing my peace of mind ever since I visited a CT scan dept. I don’t know why I should have lighted upon this particular incident. Perhaps God put in me an effort consciously to know and to understand why these various forms of suffering we have to bear in this world before we have to bear no more.

In once life-time, consciously or unconsciously, everyone must have questioned himself or themselves, 'why this suffering to me” ?.It is quite natural to ask such questions to ourselves while we are under certain tribulations. However, on other side of the shore there are many people who are not in a position to ask themselves ' Why this suffering to me' ?.

Last June during my holidays I had accompanied one of my friend to one of the hospital in Mangalore for his body CT scan. While generally calm atmosphere prevails while calling out patients' name one after other, suddenly one personaged around 22 years old stood up answering very loudly ‘yes I am he’ and started limping towards the CT scan room. My ears felt pain of his loud voice and my eyes moved towards his limping legs for he was an amputee. I inquired his care takers why he shouted so valiantly and how he became an amputee. They answered me that by birth he is born insane, no one can take control of him nor he himself.Further they said, recently his one leg got fully crushed while he met a major accident. After listing them patiently; impatiently I asked myself, ‘Who is the author of his sufferings’.


By virtue of his sufferings, it is really pity that he can't ask univocally himself 'Why this suffering to me'. He is not in a position to reflect the causes of his imperfection nor the paindevoid of hisevery happiness and peace since his birth. His sufferings are of multi dimension; physical, mental, spiritual, social. His life tragedy is so much that he is not in a position to express himself with others. His each phases of his life are unknown to him even though his body yarns for the unsatisfied urges from his childhood days to adolescent and now he is a youth, whose life continues inexistential perplexity. How misfortune is his entire life, he has no love to give nor he understands to receive it; such life even unknown to animals. Again my question is ‘Who is the author of his sufferings’

Marriage is a sacrament; we believe partners are made in heaven. Then why the heaven treats him differently. Is it because he is not in a position to understand God or pray with Him or does he pays for the hereditary sins? Either of the case, it is true that he just asinnocentas a child to whom usually we call an angel. Furthermore, in case after his death he gets double portion of heaven than what was the purpose of his lifelong suffering which is equivalent tohell ?As we know, life is an one time affair in this world but he never knows where he spent his life, how he spent his life !.There are no words to describe the anguish being felt by such people who; our heart and prayers has to go out to them. It is indeed a human irony. Such suffering of such people confronts us all with deep questions about the meaning and purpose of their life.

This is just one example out of numerous such sufferings captures the essence of a human tragedy.

Human tragedy is around us all the time — wars, political unrest, famines, minority bashing, race discrimination, slum life, refugees, natural disasters are occurring constantly. There are also many other tragedies such as petty injustices, violence, sickness, accident, and of course, the death of loved ones and our own. Indeed, life from these point of view is a succession of tragedies. Can anybody do anything about it ? Can we find a solution to these problem of our own ?. Even if political solutions could be found to all the crises in the world, even if poverty could be eradicated (possible ?), suffering would still exist. People would still be subject to old age, sickness and death, to the grief of separation and themalaise. To all sufferings, men are just mute observers, helplessly bound to lookup to the sky, " Oh! God, Why do you allow this to me?”

“Why” this question goes back to thousands of years. It was asked in the Old Testament by Job and the writers of the Psalms, and it was especially relevant during the 20th century, where we witnessed two World Wars, the Holocaust, the emergence of Cancer and AIDS etc., and the 21st Century didn’t start any better. There was 9/11, devastatinghuge cyclone, hurricane and Tsunami, impact of various forms of Terrorism, Syrian slaughters and so on.

Can you answer why such types of miseries strikes us if there’s a loving and powerful God? Why does he allows these kind of sufferings to his people?.Is the God author and finisher of our sufferings? If yes, why?. At times we are puzzled to know whether these sufferings come from God or from Men itself !

To answer why, we do not have God’s mind nor we can stand in the shoes of God to have clear answers for we as we read in 1st Corinthians 13:12 says, “Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.”

Let us focus on overarching issue why God allows suffering in our lives. Some people ask, “Couldn’t God have foreseen all of this?”. Yes, he did but let’s apply a concrete analogy. Almost all parents, even before they had children, couldn’t they foresee that there could be the very real possibility that children may suffer disappointment or pain or heartache in life, or that they might even disobey them and walk away from them? Of course — but all still had kids. Why? Because you knew there was also the potential for tremendous joy and deep love and greater meaning.

We make the choice either to run away from God or to embrace him till we are delivered from the crises. Sufferings may cause one person to turn bitter, to reject God, to become hard and angry and sullen, but at the same time can cause another person to turn to God, to become more gentle and more loving, tender and caring. One philosopher had said: “I believe all suffering is at least potential good, an opportunity for good. It’s up to our free choice to actualize that potential. Not all of us benefit from suffering and learn from it, because that’s up to us, it’s up to our free will.”

Mental health matters. Mental illness is real. I think this is the time to join the efforts onmental health stigma, social stigma by taking a heed from Bro. Joseph Crasta from Snehalaya, Ms. Corrine Rasquinha from White Doves, Bro. VC Paulose from Seon Ashram Belthangady also there could be few others too who through their Psycho-Social Rehabilitation Centres provide sanctuary to the destitute who are mentally challenged, i.e., down’s syndrome and stigma...have lost their mental balance and are found lost on the streets. These inmates irrespective of caste and creed are personally picked up by them and brought into their ashram and after recovery uniting them with their families back home. Their seed of service comes from the word of God, 'How can you say you love God whom you cannot see if you cannot love your brother whom you can see.’
Sufferings have no time frame. It may catch up anyone suddenly. Here we talk about a destitute,street wonderer saved by Mr. Joseph from Snehalaya who picked up a man from an isolated garbage area, Kankanady, who was once the founder and director of Mission Avishkar Science Centre based at Kolhapur, Aurangabad and Goa and that he was a scientist from Aurangabad, Maharashtra. He claimed to have worked with the late Dr APJ Abdul Kalam. In fact, Dr.Kalam had even visited his Mission Avishkar Centre in February 2010 and interacted with children and staff. He too was reunited with his family after having recovered at Senehalaya.

In the society, stigma continues. Let's be sympathetic to these cases !. Social stigma has caused people to look down on those with mental illness and it becomes a chain reaction where perceived stigma happens to the victims and treatment and recovery is prolonged. Added to this apathy, says survey, ‘Just two beds for mental patients per 100,000 people'.

Many assume that people with mental illness as 'insane', are 'weak and sick. But to me, these people are fighters, warriors who fight day to day battles, wars with their mind and still manage to face and survive in the world?. Is this not the greatest quality of a helpless man ? They have a battles within themselves, a battle that cannot even be touched yet fighting who are also the children of God just like ourselves. We should not see people who commit suicide as selfish. In the first place, they wouldn't commit such acts if they didn't feel that they are alone by which they are losing the meaning of their very existence. It's true that understanding someone with a mental illness is a difficult task and it's common to say, 'He doesn't understand, he is mad, what I can do ?' But remember these people didn't choose to be like that. No one chooses their own suffering but an in volunteer act. Today someone else may be suffering but tomorrow can be mine. Therefore, let us be sympathetic to others suffering.. Sympathy is the sign of maturity and maturity sets us free from the thoughts of bondage. Glad are those who do not suffer from social stigma. Thanks to Snehalaya, White Doves... let's join in their mission too.

British church leader Galvin Reid tells about meeting a young man who had fallen down a flight of stairs as a baby and shattered his back. He had been in and out of hospitals his whole life — and yet he made the astounding comment that he thinks God is fair. Reid asked him, “How old are you?” The boy said, “Seventeen.” Reid asked, “How many years have you spend in hospitals?” The boy said, “Thirteen years.” The pastor said with astonishment, “And you think that is fair?” And the boy replied: “Well, God has all eternity to make it up to me.”

There is another example from Ryan Pittman who is suffering from down syndrome. He struggled while he gave a speech and said, “ God made us different and I am different than you for I am suffering from down syndrome since my birth. Don't you know that yet we are all same for 'We All Need God'.

Pittman is right. We all need God whether we are hale and hearty or not. God promises a time when there will be no more crying, no more tears, no more pain and suffering, when we will be reunited with God in perfect harmony, forever. Let the words of First Corinthians 2:9 soak into our souls: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.” That’s absolutely breath-taking, isn’t it?. A place God has prepared where no more prayers are required there but Praises to sing "Our Father is with us in Heaven, He made us holy too, We are in His Kingdom....." Faith is a precious gift of Salvation – let it not become rare amongst us.

Antony D'Souza Archives:

by Antony Cony D Souza
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Comment on this article

  • Johnson Jones D Costa, Bantwal, Bharain

    Thu, Sep 29 2016

    Without suffering where is the life ?. I really appreciate the good work done by Senehalaya, White doves and Bro. VC Paulose from Seon Ashram Belthangady. They give love, care to those are in need. Others should not inflict more pain to suffer. This message comes here as an eye opener.

  • Edmond George Noronha, Kirem-Sharjah

    Thu, Sep 29 2016

    Good One.

  • Vivian Tauro, Puttur/Bangalore/Doha

    Tue, Sep 27 2016

    In every cloud, in sufferings there is silver lining.It is a God's plan. Praises unto Him.

  • Fr.Vincent D'Souza, Bela-Kasargod

    Mon, Sep 26 2016

    Koni glad to read one more very nice article from you. God bless you.

  • Desmond Ray Saldana , Barkur/Dubai

    Sun, Sep 25 2016

    Spiritual and Physical suffering or battle are inseparable must carry with us till the end. There is a short cut or mind game to over come such suffering. 1. Mentally (atheist) 2. Spiritually (believer) or both. It is an atheist vs believer contest while healthy or wealthy. However, at the end in many instances atheist surrenders to the will of God to claim his victory against spiritual suffering. He wins the spiritual battle for God is a forgiving God. My little piece of information.
    I too one turned from atheism and now enjoying my life in the olden age as a believer. Absolute faith wins absolutely needing much required peace and serenity of mind while this life is almost going to become stand and still almost 80 years. I have no strength now to argue as I used to argue in defense of atheism, will, will power has gone weak..waning...God is winning for me for my after life. Thank to you. You did it good by making possible this reading for the younger generation. Hope restores Hope in God. His tender mercies for me at this olden age are sufficient for me.

  • Dr. Walston D Souza, Mumbai/UK

    Fri, Sep 23 2016

    Connie Mama, As usual one of the best article as my sister Dr. Hazel of opine there. Love to read more.

  • Dr Hazel M, Mangalore

    Fri, Sep 23 2016

    Lovely article Uncle. I remember one of the sisters in my convent school telling me, ' Suffering builds character but the only way out of suffering is to forgive the person who is causing the suffering. You will become a better person in the end' It is difficult but it does work. Great article though.

  • Reshma Lobo, Mangalore/Kuwait

    Thu, Sep 22 2016

    Another brilliant article Antony Sir..God gives us sufferings to see whether we can bear it or we will just grumble over it..Through sufferings we come more closer to God asking him to relieve our sufferings...but then he also gives us happiness too..God should always be center of our life. Keep writing and do inspire us as always..

  • Marie Dorothi D' Silva, Mlore-Blore

    Thu, Sep 22 2016

    Really I like the flow of your thoughts in any subject you take. You should be a kind and wonderful person I feel because as you said you saw a insane person in the CT scan dept., you felt sympathy of his suffering and your thoughts started running onto God in prayer for his deliverance. I felt like that. However, good luck. We need plenty of good persons like you to see the beauty of the Lord otherwise is it not the world is empty and void ?

  • Ronald Lasrado, Bombay/Qatar

    Thu, Sep 22 2016

    Good thinking. Well written.
    Suffering in this world is a method delivered by God for pruning us.
    In every suffering or pruning end of the tunnel there is light - Eternal Life.
    Praise God.

  • Kevin Misquith, Surathkal

    Wed, Sep 21 2016

    Inspiring article, continue to inspire us, wonderful write up.

  • John DSouza, Mangaluru

    Wed, Sep 21 2016

    Congratulations Tony Bab.
    Well written article by a talented scholar. It deserves minimum One Hundred Comments,if the readers get answers to these couple of questions.

    1. What types of comments are expected or reactions desired by the author?
    2. How this article can impact the society, economy and environment, under prevailing situation?

  • Rohan Rejie Mathias, Mangalure/Dubai/Mluru

    Wed, Sep 21 2016

    I really got cheered by your last sentence. I do understand that Jesus taught us to pray from this world as 'Our Father is in Heaven, Holy be your Name..." But Same prayer you have made it as a song of praise to sing after our death to our God as "Our Father is with us in Heaven, He made us holy too, we are in His Kingdom....."
    A very deeply thought off finest article I have ever read which makes us to think about our after life as to prepare ourselves in faith for our eternal life. Hope you write such divinity oriented articles more and more. Good Luck Antony Cony D Souza.

  • Carol Furtado, Udupi-Brahmagiri/Bahrain

    Wed, Sep 21 2016

    Well written article by Mr.Antony Cony D'Souza. Strongly woven article.The writer has given depth to the subject matter bringing in the concept of life and its sufferings and how human beings endure their sufferings to make a living.

  • SamadKolnad, Vitla

    Tue, Sep 20 2016

    Antony..very nice article...a deep understanding of life and blessings of Almighty....enjoyed reading..keep writing looking forward for more...

  • Meena Serrao Barboza, Tanzania/Shirva

    Tue, Sep 20 2016

    Very Nice Article. Cony Bab. Keep Writing God Bless U


    Tue, Sep 20 2016

    Nice article, Kony bab keep it up.

    In God I've found everything!

  • Dominic A. J. Pinto, Mangaluru

    Tue, Sep 20 2016

    Strongly woven article around all form sufferings and Gods's love and grace that is available in plenty during human suffering. Any write up with logic and without contradictions makes interesting reading. Since, our people are busy, my advise is to cut short the article i.e., 2-3 pages for the benefit of many.

  • Ajith Peter Dsouza, Udupi/Dubai

    Tue, Sep 20 2016

    Nice Article taking us through human sufferings and the might above us.Ultimately one has to surrender to the supreme energy that moves things and the First Principal that is God. Experience woven with pondering thoughts make this article a good read. Let more articles come from you.

  • C.G.Sequeira, Mangalore

    Mon, Sep 19 2016

    Yet another wonderful write up by Antony Kony."We all need God" is a message to all the believers.Thank you Kony, keep writing.God Bless you.

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