Heard the 'P' word…have you?

Aug 30, 2016

The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.”

― Paulo Coelho

Having made my way into the world in the 90s, when “following your dream” was the motto chanted out of every rooftop, I, too, with a large number of fellow millennial, was encouraged to follow suit. My dream most certainly was to grow up to be engineer, doctor or an IAS officer, or someone, who proudly holds an MBA. Pays to note that, compared to the generations that went before us, we were born rather well to do, we were born to a set of parents who were very hardworking and could provide us with all the support necessary to build ourselves a comfortable life.

We were lucky enough to witness the transition of technology, from flip phones to iPhones (though any phone essentially served the purpose). We were rewarded with the best electronic gadgets and precious gifts every time we managed to score good grades (though our parents continued to use the standard Nokia device). Pause to ponder a little more and you realize the generation born after us is, well, luckier.

Now, most of us were sent to good schools, with good teachers who helped us develop our personalities and confidence. We grew up to be individuals who were comfortable to speak unabashedly in public and voice out our opinions on the most controversial topics. And though we learnt everything needed to be able to taste success, I do firmly believe that we missed out on one very important virtue. Every school, college, parent and grandparent forgot to instill in us this one quality – patience.

Go ahead. Give it a thought. Take all the time you need, but you’ll agree with me when you realize the tiniest of our achievements never went un-rewarded. The smallest successes and we were made to feel extremely special. Whether in school or at home, at every step we were encouraged and rewarded the very moment we attained results. Now, there’s no doubt that in the mind of a little girl, it was good.

It helped me boost my morale. It made me think I was different from the others and of course I had a file full of certificates (half of them for just participation) to reaffirm my belief whenever I felt otherwise. But then you grow up… This beautiful bubble built around you starts to crumble, and you realize that every colleague of yours is as special as you are, making you nothing but ordinary. I have a  number of friends, all with qualifications they wear proudly on their sleeves; but some find themselves stuck in a job hunt, whereas the others with jobs also find themselves stuck and some realize that the path they chose was nowhere near to where they want to be. But the one thing that makes itself painfully evident is each one of them is easily frustrated and disappointed when things don’t work out. Well, Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither is your career. It does take a lot of hard work, dedication and determination. But most of all, it takes waiting. And although we’ve mastered the art of hard work, dedication and determination, the waiting wasn’t taught to us and well, we never learnt how to. When we don’t see results immediately, it soon turns into a cry for help. And it eventually pushes us to give up.

Not very long ago I found myself in a similar situation. Having completed my education, I was on the hunt for a job. Now mind you, it’s not easy sending out dozens of resumes every day and getting rejected every single time. I had the grades and I had the qualifications. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. I analyzed my profile to the tiniest detail. And trying to find the one thing that was wrong was like looking for one single needle among a stack of needles. With each passing day my frustration got the better of me. I started to think I wasn’t good enough. Although my parents assured me otherwise, I saw no results.

Eventually, I was hired. But it took me a good four months before life changed. Now 122 days doesn’t seem like a long time, but to me every passing second felt like a minute, every minute like an hour, every hour like a day and every day, a year. But it’s only when I look back, I feel all I had to do was give myself time and keep the faith. Lack of patience, as I now diagnosed it, plunged me into a sea of self-doubt. It’s scary to think that one more month of all that ceaseless waiting and I would have given up.

The one thing I take from all this is that success and results take time and all I needed was a little bit of patience. But I do realize the importance of the virtue now. Had I not spent those four months of my life in frustration, I could have used up all that free time indulging myself, doing things I love. Free time, which now after landing a job, I probably may never have again. But I know now that I found this job because I didn’t give up earlier. And even though it may not be the one of my dreams, the one that will take me to the pinnacles of success, I know that with a little more effort and of course, a lot more patience, I will get there someday.

I write this not because I think I am wiser now, but because just like me, so many people frustrate easily when things don’t work out, ruining their health and lives in the process. Levels of depression and anxiety are on the rise. In a world where achievements are praised, every one fails to celebrate the wait to the top. Ask any successful being and she or he will tell you that they kept trying through the failures and kept waiting for the right moment. Ask your parents themselves and find out how much they had to struggle and patiently strive through their rough patch, to now be able to afford a good life. Luckily for us we might probably not have that big a struggle, but nothing can waive off that waiting period.

So while my parents relish in the happiness of me having written another article and feel congratulations are in order, I know now it is just a small step. And I have to work hard and wait, wait through my most difficult phase, through my boring phase. Success is inevitable.

Jane Tellis, Germany
Jane Tellis, BE Mechanical Engineer from NMAM Institute of Technology, Nitte is currently residing in German
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Comment on this article

  • albert sequeira, Bondel, Mangalore

    Fri, Sep 02 2016

    Well written Jane Tellis. I appreciate your writing & I believe that. Keep writing. Thank you - Albert

  • Ali, KSA

    Fri, Sep 02 2016

    Excellent Article Jane.This is the fact with Every youngster and Fresher seeking a career.We try to hide it up and Good that you came up shared thoughts on it.

  • k b r, Mangluru

    Fri, Sep 02 2016

    The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter.”

    ― Paulo Coelho

    This quotation reminds me of Shirdi Sai Baba's two word Bible i.e. "Shraddha aur Saboori", meaning "Faith and Patience".

  • Aneesh Jose, Manipal/Nitte

    Fri, Sep 02 2016

    Very well written Jane, nice to see you write.

  • J. HENRY DSOUZA, mangalore

    Wed, Aug 31 2016

    One who determines to succeed is succeeds. one determines never to loose and he wins.

  • Simon Lobo, USA

    Wed, Aug 31 2016

    Mr. John Monteiro,

    Thank you. I am close friend of your neighbor STANFLOR and admire your writing and laughing club activities. God Bless You.


    Wed, Aug 31 2016

    Dear Jane,
    Wonderful attitude to life. Did'nt some one say - slow and steady win the race.In my humble opinion, faith, patience and positive attitude are the best recipie for success and happiness in life. Continue to write more on such real life issues and you will make your generation healthy, wealthy and wise.

  • Jane, Germany

    Wed, Aug 31 2016

    Thank you Reuben

  • Jane, Germany

    Wed, Aug 31 2016

    Thank you

  • Jane, Germany

    Wed, Aug 31 2016

    Thank you for your positive comments

  • Joseph F. Gonsalves, Bannur, Puttur / Mangalore

    Wed, Aug 31 2016

    Dear Jane Tellis,
    Well written and a guide to youngsters.
    God Bless you.
    The fruits Spirit are:

    Finally Happiness.

    Galatians 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith.

  • Oliver Sutari, Udupi

    Wed, Aug 31 2016

    Congratulations on a highly introspective and well-worded article that was a joy to read.

    Your article is well placed and is also well timed for the present generation.

    For someone so young, there are clear signs of wisdom in you.

    Very well done...

  • John B. MonteiroBondel, Mangalore,

    Wed, Aug 31 2016

    Well said Simon Lobo, USA.Very earthy wisdom well distilled and presented. This optimistic message should should defeat frustration and depression.Please keep up the good work and best of luck.

  • Reuben, Melbourne

    Wed, Aug 31 2016

    Very well written Jane

  • Simon Lobo, USA

    Tue, Aug 30 2016


    Well written, initially it came across like a witness and reflection of your child hood dream.

    You do have matured skill and understand using the right choice of words in the narration to write as it happens. Practice more on short columns for local papers.

    Yes, patience with right choices while not being employed pays off in the long run. I have experienced that part myself.

    Agree that Success is inevitable, well said. Also add two words, less surprises, plan ahead at work and in life events so that you are well prepared to face many issues that may come up due to a family member, relative, friend, or at work place.

    No one take away Success from you or anyone when you chose, practice, and follow that you think is right and proper.

    All the best and looking forward to read many more exclusive narrations.

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