The Anniversary of Our Loss...

October 19, 2015

'Anniversary' is a word that often captures our attention to certain pre-framed notions enabling our minds to switch on to the concept of celebration, enjoyment, fun sweets, decorations, lightings, new clothes etc. The moment becomes colourful with utmost preparations. We invite our near and dear ones for the celebration, we visit the places of worship and thank God for all that He has done in our lives. Thus we form the anniversary into an event filled with joy and happiness. Here is an incident to illustrate how a man feels after a year of crisis.

I recently met one of my friends who was fired from a job a year before. He seemed to be completely unhappy and miserable. The most depressive feelings were flowing out of his mouth. "I dedicated my time for the company. Whenever the company demanded much work from me I did it sincerely. Hence the manager was good to me but squeezed the maximum out of me. But when there came a moment when the manager wanted to hide himself from a grave error, he made me a scapegoat."

Later, I happened to meet him after a year and it was really surprising to note the change found in him. No more murmuring and grumbling over the past, insteadd he approached it with a lot of positive strength. He told me that "everything happened for a good cause. At the time of crisis I saw myself as a loser and I suffered for two months but after that two months, I got into another company and I'm manager now. I have learnt so many things from my past incident and in my day to day activities I never repeat the mistakes which I have done at my previous work place. God knows what is best for us."

Have we ever found time to ponder over the anniversary of loss or crisis, a loss which brings disappointment or sadness? During the time of crisis, we never call people or tell them anything about the event. We go to our worship place not to thank the Lord but to cry in front of Him so that He may set us free from the crisis. We wish that nobody should come to know about our crisis but somehow within a short time the uncontrollable outpouring of the feeling of sorrow is shared with a few. Obviously, our dear and near ones come to know about the crisis. Crisis in life may appear due to a loss or cheating in business by the partner, cheating by a friend, gossips, failure in love, conflicts between husband and wife, getting fired from job for no fault of yours, family problem etc. Every anniversary is a mixture of feelings like joy and sorrow. This fact may occur in all our celebrations but it is indeed high time to remind ourselves about the same and be realistic.

What we can do on an anniversary of loss?

- Take a pause in your life and think right from the day of your loss about the improvements that have taken place in your life and the areas you have to improve.
- If those hurt feelings are still in your heart surrender them to God and try to establish a deep relationship with God.
- Don't put a dam in your eyes to stop the tears but cry as much as you can.
- Think how you spend your days during the time of crisis.
- Think about the good choices you made during the time of your loss.
- Pray continuously for those persons who were responsible for the crisis or loss in your life. Never desire and don't expect something bad to happen for them.
- Think about those people who ran away from your life during the time of crisis and those who remained faithful to you. Pray for all of them.

After getting into a crisis try to be positive. It is difficult, but you can achieve it. Never seek sympathy from others because it will make you more dependent. We are called to be strong and determined with a smile on our face. Don't go around saying things aren't going well, that nothing is satisfactory. The more you dwell over your crisis the unhappier you become. Say to yourself, "things are going well. Life is good. I choose happiness".

After the time of crisis it is difficult to face the society again. A constant thought that runs through our minds that 'what people may think about me'. The crisis and its effects will pass but what we have achieved remains with us forever. If we face the situation with courage, all the negative thoughts will be washed away. What we have learnt from the particular crisis will matter the most. How long we live does not matter but how we live life amidst all the difficulties and crisis matters the most. People will not see how fast you recovered from your crisis but they do see how you have reconstructed your life after it. That will be an inspiration for others. If our life's darkness is light to others let us happily accept the darkness being an instrument in the hands of the Lord to be a light for others.

We can never judge a gift by looking at the gift wrapper because at times, a dusty and muddy gift wrapper may contain a valuable thing. Sometimes changes will come in life through a crisis which we may not understand at that point but in the long run it will turn out to be a treasure hidden in a dusty gift wrapper. Life runs on wheels driven by God. He knows where life needs fuel to boost our energy, he knows where to slow down our life when we go higher and higher in our worldly affairs, and he knows how to apply the break when the moment arrives to end our life journey. Let us find the true and the greatest treasure in a dusty wrapper.



By Jeevan Bondel
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Comment on this article

  • Praveen Lobo, Mangalore

    Sun, Oct 25 2015

    Nice article..

  • Metilda D'Souza , Bondel, Mangaluru

    Fri, Oct 23 2015

    Keep it up jeevan, nice article, good message to all. Keep writing.

  • Metilda D'Souza , Bondel, Mangaluru

    Fri, Oct 23 2015

    Keep it up jeevan, nice article, good message to all. Keep writing.

  • jimmy noronha, Bellore, Lucknow

    Fri, Oct 23 2015

    I enjoyed reading your article with a good moral. In this connection I am reminded of an anecdote wherein a verger (sacristan) got sacked as he was rather old and illiterate. He refused to get educated within three months stipulated by the Parish Priest if he wanted to remain in his job. After resigning, the Sacristan was returning home, downcast and wanted to smoke a cigarette but couldn’t find any along the street. He went home, cried over his fate and hit upon an idea of opening a cigarette shop along the way from church to his home. Soon, he began to prosper better than ever before.
    So, God above finds ways and means for our good and there isn’t any point crying over spilled milk. Be positive in life as aptly suggested by Jeevan. Thanks.

  • Zeena, Bejai

    Fri, Oct 23 2015

    Well written article Jeevan. It's a wonderful thought to ponder on the anniversaries of losses. Keep writing... All the best.

  • F.L.Fernandis, Bangalore.

    Fri, Oct 23 2015

    Very good article dear Jeevan.We expect more like this .Many are coming across like this in their life still we go forward positively.

  • Fr Maxim Rosario, Mangalore

    Fri, Oct 23 2015

    Interesting article Jeevan. Congrats for your creativity. We normally magnify'gain' and forget 'loss'. Best of luck for the future aricles

  • Ajay D'Silva, Bondel/Rome

    Fri, Oct 23 2015

    Well written Jeevan. Continue the good work.

    During the loss, we can console ourselves. But it is difficult to answer people. Some feel sorry for us and some others may enjoy at our loss

  • Bonison Pinto, Mangalore

    Thu, Oct 22 2015

    well written article. keep writing ...

  • Fr Joachim Fernandes, Kelarai

    Thu, Oct 22 2015

    Jeevan Congrats. Good piece of writing. May you go higher and higher.

  • Daru, Vamanjoor / Dubai

    Thu, Oct 22 2015

    Well written Jeevan :) Keep writing brother !!!!!!!!

  • Priyanka Dsouza, Pangla/Muscat

    Thu, Oct 22 2015

    Beautiful write up...............

  • Vincent Dsa, Shankerpura/Dubai

    Thu, Oct 22 2015

    Nice Article.Fitting title.

  • Rocky G. Lobo, Bajpe

    Wed, Oct 21 2015

    Dear Jeevan Kep writing, it creates positive thinking good one achive high

  • Francis D'Cunha, Padua

    Tue, Oct 20 2015

    essential philosophical thoughts. Need to reflect on the points expressed in the article.

  • Anil Danthy, Pernal

    Tue, Oct 20 2015

    well written Jeevan...Congratulatins.much needed article in this sight,apt and timely..keep writing

  • Anil Danthy, pernal

    Tue, Oct 20 2015

    Great Jeevan...A much needed article and a rare thought too..well written..waiting for many more..

  • celine saldanha, Mangalore /Bangalore

    Tue, Oct 20 2015

    Congratulations dear Jeevan. Your article is very enriching and strengthening. I really appreciate and felt many must read. It will really help in their journey of life.

  • Shanti Pais , Bangalore

    Mon, Oct 19 2015

    Dear Jeevan, very well written. It's a great message to all. I'm sure people who read this article will appreciate and practice those advises during the anniversary of their loss. Keep writing!!

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