Protect Your Child from Sexual Abuse

April 14, 2015

I was in a fit of rage, my eyes red and my head was on fire!!! By nature I am a calm person but when I feel this way, it is really difficult to control my anger.

A little child was molested!!! The child, merely 8 years old!! I wish I could get that man who did this!!! She was coming back from school alone in the lift when this stranger suddenly entered, pressed the first floor, took her out on the staircase and tried touching her face and hands. The child sensing something wrong started crying. Luckily this man got frightened and ran away. In a way, I thank God that she was sensible enough to cry; my body shudders thinking what would have happened if she were a silent victim.

So many things are running in my head. I visualize meeting that man and tearing him into pieces and when he would beg for mercy I would tell him never to do this to any other kids. I want to kick him and slap his face so he would remember this incident everytime he gets those lusty feelings.

Such sick people are called pedophiles.

Who is a pedophile?

A pedophile is a person who is sexually attracted to children of either or both sexes. Pedophiles cannot be recognized as they look like a common man. He can be a respectable person; a common man, a nice neighbour or a relative, a school teacher or a driver. They may use threats so the child may not tell anyone else. They can be a close family member and visiting the house frequently. They may find ways of being in close proximity of the child, like baby-sitting the child when the parents go out, showing extra love and attention to the child, giving money or gifts to the child. This may make the child confused especially if the child does not receive the needed love from the parents.

How can we protect our children?

We cannot be around our kids everytime. Just like telling our kids that if we don’t cross the roads carefully it may lead to accidents, we could tell our kids to be aware and careful about pedophiles. We need to keep checking our kids, talking to them and asking them if they have any problems. Keep looking if they show any changes in their behavior.

Be suspicious if an adult is too attached to your child and moreover if your child is acting scared or confused to be left alone with this person.

But we must also remember that most people have good intentions and we must be careful about jumping into conclusions.

Show your child the parts of the body and some parts of the body that are not supposed to be touched by anyone. Tell them that if they are uncomfortable if someone tries to touch their body they should get away as quick as possible and inform you or someone they trust about the incident.

Always show trust in your child and even if you are shocked, make the child feel that it is not his/her mistake. Don’t leave your child alone especially in secluded areas where there are high chances of these incidents.

Give your child lots of love and attention and ask your child of the happenings during the day. Keep some family time where each member of the family talks of what happened in office / school.

How do we know if our child is sexually abused or molested?

As I said before, we cannot be around everyime to protect our child. Watch out for change in behavior in your child, if your child is withdrawn or unusually aggressive, looks scared, has redness or soreness in their genital areas. They may have nightmares or start wetting bed, have difficulty in school or may even run away from home.

Such children will need support and assurance and also guidance from a person who specializes in helping sexually abused children.

Sexual abuse can affect children for the rest of their lives.You may be the one person who has the courage to speak out and do something for the child. The most important thing is the child’s right to be kept safe.

Teach children the names of their sexual body parts so they know how to talk about them and feel okay talking about them to you.

Children find it hard to confide in elders when they are sexually abused as they may be threatened by the abuser. Make them feel comfortable and give your full love and support to your child.

Please, I repeat, please, don’t blame the child if they are molested or sexually abused.

As for me, I am still waiting to get my hands on the culprit who did this to the innocent 8-year-old child.

By Nirmala D'Silva
Nirmala D'Silva hails from Mangaluru and is working in Kuwait. She loves to read and travel.
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Comment on this article

  • Elveera, Mulky

    Sun, Apr 19 2015

    It is not important to know who the child is. If it is my neighbours child still I will have same feeling of anger

  • JL, Mangalore

    Fri, Apr 17 2015

    Dear Nirmala your emotions speak as though it was your own child who was molested, unless I am wrong. If yes then better mention the truth it will justify your views and give a stronger message.

  • Sunita, Mangalore

    Thu, Apr 16 2015

    The right way is to expose these people. Sometimes many parents keep silent they think it will a bad name or for many reason and that's how these people will have guts to indulged more and more into these kind of crimes.. Awareness and coming forward and exposing such culprits are the only way to keep them away form doing all these duty things.. hope more and more people come forward and spread awareness..

  • Preetham, Brahmavar / Kuwait

    Thu, Apr 16 2015

    As part of this society it is our moral duty to highlight incidents which we have witnessed or heard. Thanks to Nirmala for expressing in simple ways her own fears and struggles of motherhood.
    there are many ways a child experiences abuse from relatives, friends, at school and from strangers. A child needs both Mother and Father at all times to protect, nurture and grow.
    Be responsible parents!

  • yogesh, mumbai

    Thu, Apr 16 2015

    Charity and search should begin from home which might be breeding ground for those why cry holier than thou!Nowadays it has become fashion? Why this article not stressing it? Also not every stranger(man or woman-why surprise?)is a pedophile.

  • shaji, mangalore

    Wed, Apr 15 2015

    Dear Nirmala, thanks for very informative article. Devils who are raping women and especially children should be hanged to dealth without time. NO pity should be shown on them and people supporting them should be penalized heavily like the school management in Mulky who are supporting the Driver in the rape case. It is shame on the part of School management. I think they do not have wives / sisters and daughters. They have sold their soul in the hands of Shaitaan. No mercy should be shown on the manager of the school and Govt should dismiss the licence or take over the school.

  • Ann, Mangalore

    Tue, Apr 14 2015

    Adding on to Nirmala's views, a child affected with sex abuse is very difficult to identify, it can be observed with their play activity,esp with dolls they try to harm it which may be unusual for parents,its one of sign,or drawings on paper will be effective to identify esp for kids below 8 years

  • Crystal D'Silva, Mangalore/Kuwait

    Tue, Apr 14 2015

    Nice article Nirmala..Keep it up!!

  • Roshan Braganza, Mumbai

    Tue, Apr 14 2015

    1. The definition put on the above article is not complete. According DSM5 ( a body of American psychologists ) including search giants wikipedia , pedophilia is actually the abuse of pre pubersent children , normally less than 11 years for girls. Anything above that ie which is above puberty are termed as Hebephilia ( 11 to 15 ) and Ephebophilia ( 15 to 18 ) are not treated as children ( biologically ) and legal in many cultures along the world.

    2.There is recent spike in cases of women abusing children specially at schools and home. This was so far never heard of due to lack of awareness. Police are hesitant to file FIR if the accused is a women ( may b its because of false assumption that women can never be at fault ). One such cases came up in bengaluru , later police were obliged to file FIR because CRISP ( under the guidance of kumar jagirdar ) intervened. After that lots of such cases came into limelight inc mumbai.

    3. Cases of child abuses should be handled only by experts because its highly prone to misuse. Parents can use this to trap teachers and sometimes between neighbours to settle personal cases. There r lot of cases where teacher lost their jobs and shamed for no fault of theirs. Sometimes even a corporal punishment is being mistaken as abuse.

  • James , Mangalore

    Tue, Apr 14 2015

    Nirmala , Great Article.....Keep Writing... God Bless

  • Sujay, Mangalore/ Dubai

    Tue, Apr 14 2015

    Excellent Article!
    We all has parents or adults are aware of all this but often forget or feel it is not important to educate our children at this young age.
    But this article will definitely enlighten all of us that we must not delay or postpone educating our children about the wrong things that could happen to them in our society.
    I request all readers, if you have not educated your children on this, then please act on it immediately. This will only save our children’s.
    Thank you to the writer & Daijiworld for publishing such articles which is an eye opener to most of the readers.

  • Dolphy D'Spoza, Pandeshwar, Mangalore

    Tue, Apr 14 2015

    Dear Niramala, Very proud to read your article which is very informative to present young couples. I admire your concern towards innocent, ignorant and helpless little ones in the society. Keep writing.

    With blessings

    Uncle Dolphy

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