September 7, 2014
"Mama...."
"Yes my son. You have not slept yet?"
"How can I sleep Mama?"
"It is more than hundred days now."
"Yes. But four years and nine months more to go."
"Be patient my son. Our time will come."
"Good days will come."
"Do not repeat what they say. ‘Good days will come’ is their slogan. We will have a different slogan very soon as all our slogans have become obsolete. Our spin doctors are working on it. We cannot make a mistake the way we did during the last elections. Just wait."
"But waiting is a punishment Mama."
"We have to wait in politics. Even they waited. In fact out of those 68 years they have waited for more than 50 years when we enjoyed power. Just refresh your recent memory my son. We recently ruled for 10 years."
"That’s true. But we wanted to continue for another five years. We are always power hungry anyway."
"What to do? Something unfortunate happened."
"Mama…I am younger than him."
"I know it."
"I am more handsome."
"I know it too. Being my son you cannot be less handsome."
"I am more educated, sophisticated and also unmarried...."
"The whole world knows these things."
"But he won."
"Yes, he won. That is sad. But again, it is past my son... It is hundred days since then. You have to
come to terms... Good days will come."
"Mama...It is their slogan."
"Sorry... We will make mistakes till we get our own new slogan."
"Am I less Indian than him?"
"No. It is only that you are bit of an Italian by birth. But that should not make you less Indian because in spite of being born in Italy, I am more Indian than people born in India. Look at those ladies who were born in India. Can they ever dream of becoming the president of a major political party? I have more aspirations than other Indians."
"Uncle ‘Not War’ says I stopped you from becoming the prime Minister ... Would I do it? I would never stop my mother, sister and sweet brother in law from becoming prime ministers. In fact I want all of us to become prime ministers simultaneously."
"He is not ‘Not war’ Sing. He is ‘At war Sing’ because he is at war with us."
"The best sing on earth was Man Woman Sing."
"Yes. Man woman sing is the best because as a real man he listened to what this woman said and danced to my tune. It is very rare to find people like that. I hate these people who leave us and write books."
"Even Man woman Sing can also do that."
"With so much information available on him in already published books, nobody will read a new book on him or by him. Let’s not talk about uncles who have left us. Let’s be different. Let us think about strategies to remove this tea maker from power."
"The best strategy is - I start making tea and project myself as a younger tea maker."
"That’s a good idea. What else?"
"Then I will tell the whole world that I am not a bachelor as people believed. One day it will appear in newspapers that I also had a wife… I just left her because I wanted to serve the nation."
"That’s also a good idea. Both these things worked in that man’s case. Do you have any other ideas?"
"I have hundreds of ideas like this."
"That is the mistake. We cannot have too many ideas. We should have only few ideas."
"Other idea is to announce that I have an adopted son in Italy."
"Make it Nepal. Keep away from Italy."
"Then I will project myself as the real representative of poor people. I will distance myself from my brother in law for that."
"Do not do it. Your brother in law is too good. We will lose so many properties if we lose him."
"I am only doing it in public. Then I will say that our party is also a mother’s party like his."
"Is his party a mother’s party?"
"Yes. He said his party is his mother. I will say my mother is my party. Ultimately it is the same whether party is a mother or mother is a party."
"Good development my son, you are really changing now. The opposition seat in the ever ruling party has made you smart. You are smarter than ever."
"Mama, can I sleep now?"
"You can. But henceforth do not ask my permission for silly things. That’s why they called you an idiot. It’s sad to be an Indian in the opposition. It’s sadder to be an Italian’s son waiting to be the Indian prime minister. But the saddest thing is to be an idiot forever. Be smart."
"They praise him like anything. They said his speech at the Red port was very good and his appearances in foreign countries were spectacular."
"You can be better than him if you try."
"They may not praise me."
"They will praise you if you become little smarter."
"Mama I will sleep today without taking permission from you because I am really smarter now."
"Great. Thanks for informing me that you are sleeping. I like a son who consults his mother in everything. We are united. We are democratic. That is why our party has mother as the president and the son as the vice president. Family needs the party and the party needs the family. Sleep my son… Good night. Good days are coming.."
"What a nice slogan Mama… Is it our new slogan you were talking about?"
(This is a humour article. All views expressed here are solely those of the author)