March 15, 2014

Recently a teen of Jumeirah Lake Tower (JLT) area jumped from a high rise building and killed herself. The whole Dubai plunged into shock and worry. A similar incident had occurred some weeks back in the same area.

It is said that the current generation belongs to the generation “Zeeeeeeeeeee”

We parents belong to the generation of baby boomers, those born during the 60-70's. The generation that followed, born between 70- 80's, are called generation “X” and this trend continues. 

It is said that the information available increases by 4 times and the knowledge increases twice every generation. Perhaps that's where the phrase "a child born today is smarter than yesterday's" comes from. So if you consider that, the knowledge gap between you and your teens is humungous. It is true. How many times have you asked your children to fix a problem which you were unable to fix on your PC or TV? You may argue that you have seen more rains than the teens of today but that's only because your year of birth is much before theirs. They are definitely smarter and more knowledgeable than you. That is why you can see a change in recruitment trend; they go with young blood rather than the old horses
 
One example of this is we, as parents, choose to call each other on the phone and talk. This is our mode of communication. The teens do not; they text!  The human race is evolving with history, we have to accept that. Whenever we call someone we greet them and ask how they are, teens just ask where you are.
 
Never tell your children that during our young age we did this, we didn’t have that, we lived in a small town or village, we did not watch TV, we didn’t have mobiles , the  price of rice was Rs5/-, our parents used to beat us, we had only two short pants and one pair of slippers etc...Our list of the past may be endless, but who brought your children to a better place, with better comfort and luxury, better nutrition, and better materials, clothes in today's present? YOU...You gave them a better life because you wanted them to have comforts and prosperity. You wanted to give them what you were deprived of or could not afford. Now do not compare to your difficult times to their good times… 
 
The statistics are scary, 7 out 10 teens have thought of ending their life due to pressure from parents, relatives, neighbours, teachers, peers and others. Many have done it. Some are saved and many have left their dear ones. Just this month in February in Dubai alone two teenagers killed themselves because of issues that could have been fixed!  Why do you think your teens prefer to be with their friends? Because they feel it's their friends who stand up for them and understand them and not the parents or relatives. They share a very high level of trust and confidence in their friends as all of them think on the same wavelength. How many of you parents who are doing very well as businessmen, mangers, executives, professionals have scored 95+% marks? A very few can be counted. Then why do you expect your teens to score such high marks?  If you can be successful, they too can with the present level of knowledge and skills they get. You only need to guide them when it comes to deciding what they want to do and support them. Today I was shocked to see a lady driving her car on the busy Abu Dhabi Hamdan Street with one hand on the steering wheel and with the other hand holding a question paper asking her son questions while on his way to school. This is the kind of pressure we exert on our children.
 
You cannot stop them from getting the information, the knowledge they wish to get. You may stop them from watching pornography at home by blocking the sites on your PC/TV etc. But outside in the school every boy has some kind of porn clipping on their smart phones. How you will stop them from watching the clips when they are in the school? They have access to the information super highway called the Internet as most of them carry smart phones.
 
You may get shocked to see your teen daughter or son taking pictures with boys or girls hugging them or falling one over the other and posting them on social websites like Facebook or Twitter, WhatsApp! It is a shock to you as you were brought up in a village or a small town where boys used to walk on one side of the street and girls on the other side. Even talking to each other was considered a sin in those days. Times have changed, the present world do not see the gender difference. You make a big hue and cry about gender equality. But at home you want to practice a different preaching, one that was taught to you decades ago.
 
You have to bring them up with the knowledge of God and the Word of God along with their academic studies. Don’t consider religious activities as just an obligation get the various sacraments, make it a necessity to know the meaning of the preaching which Jesus has given, this will provide solutions to all problems in life. No more laws and policing would be required if everyone followed the “Ten Commandments”. All the required laws were given to us thousands of years ago, the only thing is we do not understand them and follow them. That is why there is so much unhappiness, agony and lack of peace in this world. Teach them the same importance and encourage them to acquire the knowledge of the Bible just as you encourage them in the academic and athletic fields. How should you do that? Practice it at home as well as in the church. This will make their spiritual foundations strong. One with a good spiritual foundation will never go out of the right path.
 
You want to know your children’s friends, call them home and talk to them. Understand them. Encourage them. Then you can win the hearts of your teens. Then you can know what exactly your teen is up to, what she does when she goes out with friends. You cannot just say prevent your teens from going with their friends .You cannot know what they are up to at the last moment. You need to build the relationship up right from the beginning. If your children’s friends want to come to your home and spend time during your absence that means they are not the right friends! Make them feel comfortable when you are at home, give them liberty, trust them. Most importantly trust the Lord and he will take care of your children.
 
Teenage is an age of inquisitiveness! It is an age of daring and courage where they want take great risks. They want to know and experience new things in life. As they undergo a rapid natural change in mental and physical states. Statistics shows many teenagers want to have the experience of sex as they read and see a lot on the information on Internet and books. Curiosity is a great compeller for the teens. Some may be forced by their friends to indulge into such acts.
 
But dear teens, you may be physically grown, but mentally you are not, so it is not wise to indulge in something you fully cannot grasp. For every act there is proper time, so hang on. You will also get everything in this life. Here I have a question for the teenagers, when will you give the best gift to your closest friend? On a special day or on an auspicious day. So save your sanctity for that special day and for that special person. This day is none other than the day you get the 5th sacrament, holy matrimony! It is a day heaven and earth will bless you and you are fully matured mentally as well as physically to experience the secret of love. So hold on till the time comes.
 
So far my advice was mostly for the parents; however do not forget your parents had a major role in giving you a life and bringing you up to this level. They have sacrificed a lot, toiled day and night to keep you going. Also you should remember that, as you expect them to get tuned into your wavelengths, sometimes you too have to tune in to their wavelengths as they are getting old and it is hard for them to change their acts and thoughts.
God bless all of you teens, may He grant you wisdom and prosperity. Conquer the knowledge of this universe. Enjoy the life to its fullest, but with responsibility.