Importance of a Child in Family

  •   Tue, Dec 10 2013
  •   By Jessie D'Sa

December 10, 2013


A family is considered incomplete without a child. A child is the future of mankind. His birth brings hope and dreams into our lives. As parents, we learn to look beyond us and our needs. A child brings forth new dimensions to our personality we are not aware of. There is a lot of importance of a child in the family. Let us bring to light the reasons.
 

Societal Pressure

In this age, where both men and women are busy building their careers and fulfilling their dreams, the society has not been able to match its steps with the new generation. The society does not rest until an eligible bachelor or a spinster is married off. The parents and other relatives being a part of the society tend to get carried away and get their children married off. After the marriage, the community elders are back on the tracks of the newly married couple, this time for the want of kids. Parents having a longing to become grandparents too join the bandwagon. Little do they realize about asking the newly wedded couple’s feelings about having a child. Such pressure from all quarters makes people realize the importance of a child in the family. Most couples end up having children very early in their married life to avoid embarrassing questions from the community elders and relatives.
 

Happiness

Carrying your bundle of joy for months and getting to see him or her moving on the monitor during a sonography is different from the emotions that one feels when you carry your baby in your arms. One can imagine the importance of a child in the family by the amount  of happiness it brings in. The parents as well as the near and dear ones are always ecstatic at the birth of a child. The addition of a new member to the ever expanding brood is always welcome with open arms and a happy heart. There is a sudden rush of activity in the family. From naming ceremonies to baptism in the church, each occasion is something to look forward to and share with the entire family.
 

Makes You Parents

The trials and tribulations as well as the responsibilities of a parent can be felt only when one becomes a parent. The importance of a child in the family can be felt in the fact that a child is what makes you parents. The duties of a parent are totally different and keep increasing in complexities as the child grows from one stage to another. The feeling of being a parent to a kid makes one realize what their parents must have gone through to bring them up. Parents often sacrifice their own happiness to give it to their children. They try to fulfill every wish of their children and protect them from any adversities in the future.


Makes You Feel and Act Responsible

People live for themselves. They tend to focus on building their abodes, vacationing to exotic places and enjoy other fruits of life. They continue to do till they have a child. Many couples are apprehensive about the kind of lifestyle changes occurring around when they decide to have a child. The importance of a child in the family stems from the fact that a child makes both a man and a woman realize that instead of meeting with expenditures and spending all their hard earned money on themselves, they should invest to make the future of their child safe and secure.
 
There are many couples who do not have their own children. Such couples have realized the importance of a child in the family and are now coming forward to adopt orphans. Contrary to the retrograde thinking of many orthodox people, adoption is indeed a very noble deed. It works both the ways as the desperate parents get to call someone as their own and an orphan get a second chance to have a slice of life.

 

 

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By Jessie D'Sa
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Comment on this article

  • Trecilla Menezes, Muscat /Pangla

    Tue, Dec 17 2013

    Very nice article aunty...keep writing more

  • Melwyn Pereira, Mangalore/Canada

    Sun, Dec 15 2013

    It's a beautiful article by Jessie.A child is the bond of love for a couple. It's God's greatest gift to mankind. The child may turn out to be a gentleman or a rouge as he grows up irrespective of how well he is bought up. But while bringing up the child parents go through all the mixed emotions in life. Here in the west it is a style to have a puppy in the lap then to have a child. No wonder advanced countries have dwindling population. Birth of a child is a source of joy hence I totally agree with Jessie's views

  • vincent rodrigues, Katapadi/Bangalore

    Sat, Dec 14 2013

    Too good and practical article indeed.No family without children.Thank you

  • Jessie D'sa, Udupi / Jeddah

    Sat, Dec 14 2013

    Dear all, thanks for all your lovely comments. I wish you and your families a Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year 2014. May baby Jesus bless all DAIJIWORLD readers and keep them always in his care.
    My special thanks to all those who supported and liked my article. Again I want to say, children are God's gift and we all love children.

  • Florine Dsouza, Falnir, Mangalore/Kuwait

    Fri, Dec 13 2013

    Very nice article Jessy.

  • JOSEPH GLORIA, Mangalore

    Thu, Dec 12 2013

    Very nice article you have published. Children are the asset in any Family. We totally agree with Jessie D'Sa.

  • Suresh Nayak, Mangalore

    Thu, Dec 12 2013

    Nice write up. But very short one. It did not deal with the sharing of responsibility of looking after a child by father as well as mother. Also requirement of infrastructure, in this modern world, where both parents are working and the role of child care facilities especially in towns.
    However the author has rightly recommended Adoption for childless couples, which is a step in the right direction. This should be accepted by relatives and society.

  • Navin D'sa, Shirthady

    Thu, Dec 12 2013

    Good 1 jessie...

  • kurt waschnig, oldenburg germany

    Thu, Dec 12 2013

    Dear Jessie, again I would like to say thank you for this excellent article. I circulated your article to many friends all over the world and lots of them replied and told me, how they enjoyed reading your article. I wish you a Merry Christmas and keep writing. Thank you. Best regards Kurt from Oldenburg

  • Kimsen Pinto, Mira Road

    Thu, Dec 12 2013

    I totally agree with Mr.Paul,nobody has forced anyone to like the article..so if u dont agree its ok atleast dont post adverse comments.

  • Paul Dsouza, Mangalore/Canada

    Thu, Dec 12 2013

    Good article Jessie
    To all those who have made adverse comments on Jessie's article, particularly ARD and Vijay Prabhu, I would like to say that Jessie has expressed her beautiful thoughts on parenthood and having a child. No intention to demean anyone. So guys don't take it personally!!

    So just read the article and enjoy or leave it and move on

  • Vijay Prabhu, Kundapur/Canada

    Thu, Dec 12 2013

    Reply to Bianca Lobo

    Madam, FYI, I once again disagree with your statement that 'surrogacy is having YOUR OWN baby'. It is NOT. Because the child is born and developed through a 'surrogate mother' who is not the real wife of the sperm donor i.e. husband of his true married wife. I hope you now understand when I said 'biological child' in the true sense. Like the gentleman ARD said, that having children does not necessarily give you all the 'dreams' that parents have, for you never now in the present world how good or bad the children would turn out to be, in spite of all the care and upbringing etc. All I am saying is, yes it is good to have children, but at the same time having no children by choice or otherwise does not necessarily make a make a married couple less happy. So I still maintain that the article still hurts and demeans childless married couples.

  • Destiny, Mangalore/USA

    Thu, Dec 12 2013

    It is so true that children are not given by choice. I see parents with children who bring sorrow and sadness to the parents during their old age. On the other hand there are children who bring happiness to their parents. So it is not necessary that every couple who is married is going to have a child. Of course, pets can be replaced for their unconditional love if they have no children. So Jessie, you are hurting the feelings of many people who do not have children and the parents who's children are incarcerated. The pain and sorrow is more in the latter.

  • William, Bantwal

    Wed, Dec 11 2013

    Good article by Jessie. Waiting to hear more health articles.

  • ARD, Canada

    Wed, Dec 11 2013

    I too totally disagree that a child is important in a marriage. There are many couples who don't have children by choice. Do you mean to say they are not a family or a happy family, if they do not have kids. Speak for yourself and not for others. You are no authority on the subject. Children give you love when they choose, but an animal will give you unconditional love. Gone are the days when children looked after their parents.

  • Benedicta Lobo, Udupi/Dubai

    Wed, Dec 11 2013

    Dear Jessy,

    Nice article. Keep writing more such articles. God bless you dear.

  • Kimsen Pinto, Mumbai / Mira Road

    Wed, Dec 11 2013

    Very nice article Aunty...i really liked it a lot..Thank u soo much.

  • Bianca Lobo, Dubai

    Wed, Dec 11 2013

    Sir, surrogacy is having YOUR OWN baby. it's your blood and flesh, just being born through another source. I don't think it will matter to any couple who really want to have a baby, as to how the baby is being born. It is by Gods grace that today, through medical progress, so I don't refer it to as an artificial method, it is a blessing from God.
    So if today, couples don't have a baby, it isn't because they CAN'T, its because they chose not to for their own personal reasons and we all respect that.
    This article reflects the importance of having A CHILD, I don't think that only refers to having a biological baby. It refers to any child who has been brought up with love and care and values by a couple, No matter if it's an adopted one or their own, he/she is still THEIR CHILD.

  • kurt waschnig, oldenburg germany

    Wed, Dec 11 2013

    I appreciate especially the progress science has made including medicine to help childless couples to fulfil one of their deepest desires to have their own child. As said in my former comment, a child is a wonderful gift.
    I support all medical opportunities which science offers childless couples to have their own child. Lots of couples all over the world suffer heavily from not having a child. I like what Bianca Lobo says in her comment"If God shuts one door, he opens many others. Right from surrogacy, to IVF to adoption."
    The tremendous progress in biology, medicine and in other scientific fields gives us undreamed of possibilities, we could not imagine 30 years ago. The history of IVF is a success story and this safe medical method has helped tens of thousands of couples around the world. I personally know some couples who suffered a lot, but finally after years they did the right step and IVF enabled them to become happy parents. And I know their children very well. Wonderful children, full of dreams, innocent and curious. They love life, play and they are loved by their parents. I really hope that more and more childless couples will take the step like others had done before and look for help. Today, is it possible for couples to have their own child, medicine has opened a safe way to fulfil wishes.

    Best regards

    Kurt Waschnig Oldenburg/Germany

    email: oldenburg1952@yahoo.de

  • Vijay Prabhu, Kundapur/Canada

    Wed, Dec 11 2013

    Reply to Bianca Lobo.

    Madam, I am highly aware of the era that we live in at present. But do understand that 'surrogacy, to IVF to adoption' is still not your own biological child as 'created by God, the natural way' So your statement does not hold the true meaning of God's natural creation of life! Surrogacy, IVF or even adoption are 'artificial methods' of acquiring a child. I do hope you now understand my earlier statement of not hurting the feelings of 'childless' couples with this type of article. Do not get me wrong! We do love children and have many, many 'God children' when my wife and self have stood as 'God Parents' for quite a few children within and outside our family and support them in any of their needs as required.

  • Bianca Lobo, Dubai

    Wed, Dec 11 2013

    Hi aunty, BEAUTIFUL ARTICLE indeed.
    I completely agree that children are a very important factor in a family. It is a highly mistaken theory that kids are brought into this world just to carry forward the family name, but infact they form the root to all happiness of the family.

    Now for a certain comment I happened to read, I would just like to ask respectfully, "Sir, are you aware of the era you are in right now?" because I highly doubt you do. If God shuts one door, he opens many others. Right from surrogacy, to IVF to adoption. Name it, and you have it. Even if you are speaking in terms of "BIOLOGY", there are another million options right there like surrogacy.

    Keep posting such articles aunty, it really may make a difference in someone' life.

    God bless you!

  • Priyanka Dsouza, Pangla/Muscat

    Tue, Dec 10 2013

    Well written article madam.

  • Vijay Prabhu, Kunbdapur/Canada

    Tue, Dec 10 2013

    I do not agree with the contents of this this article written by Jessie. This article demeans married couples who could sire/bear children due to some biological malfunctions in their respective bodies, created by Almighty God, even after umpteen medical tests etc., which God alone knows the reason! He has a reason for every human being for a specific purpose. And Jessie FYI there are many such married couples around the globe (world) who are childless! So please refrain from writing such articles which demeans AND HURTS THE FEELINGS OF SUCH COUPLES, JUST BECAUASE YOU HAVE GIVEN BIRTH TO CHILDREN! GOD BLESS YOU!

  • kurt waschnig, oldenburg germany

    Tue, Dec 10 2013

    Children thrive on feelings of belonging and affection that come from having caring and supportive families. Research affirms that the quality of family relationships is more important for children´s wellbeing than the size or composition of the family. Whether families have one parent or two, whether they include step-parents, grandparents or other carers, they can build strong, positive family relationships that promote family wellbeing and support children´s mental health.The keys to developing strong and caring family relationships include making relationships a priority, communicating effectively and providing support for each other. However, building and maintaining positive relationships with children and with all family members is not always easy. Different needs arising within the family may create tensions between family members, and pressures that come from outside may also impact on families and children. Sometimes these pressures can make the development of positive family relationships more difficult. Yet, even taking these influences into account, there is much the adult or adults in the family can do to build strong family relationships. Two main dimensions on the parenting role have been found to have important effects on family relationships and on children´s development, no matter what kind of family children are raised in. These are - communicating with warmth and care, establishing clear and appropriate limits for children´s behaviour. Positive styles of communication are a common element that supports both on these dimensions. All families experience ups and downs as they strive to do their best for children and deal with challenges that come along. Families vary in the expectations they hold regarding children´s behaviour and the role of parents and carers. This leads to differences in family relationships and communication styles. Many beliefs about what makes for strong family relationships are influenced by the values and experiences that parents and carers were exposed to in their own families while growing up. Cultural background can also impact on the values and goals adults have for children´s development. For example, it is common in Western industrialised societies like Germany for parents and carers to value children´s independence, whereas parents from other cultural backgrounds sometimes give more emphasis to family responsibilities than to children´s independence. There are also many differences within cultures. Differences in the ways that families are made up lead to different relationship and supports. Thank you Jessie for this well written article and I would like to say, children are a gift.

    Best regards


    Kurt Waschnig Oldenburg/Germany

    email: oldenburg1952@yahoo.de

  • Peter, Brahmavar/Sharjah

    Tue, Dec 10 2013

    Pain of Children without mother and family without children they only knows. As the author say we cannot say family is in complete without children. Family is not just husband, wife and children but more than that if there is love.

  • kurt waschnig, oldenburg germany

    Tue, Dec 10 2013

    Children thrive on feelings of belonging and affection that come from having caring and supportive families. Research affirms that the quality of family relationships is more important for children´s wellbeing than the size or composition of the family. Whether families have one parent or two, whether they include step-parents, grandparents or other carers, they can build strong, positive family relationships that promote family wellbeing and support children´s mental health.The keys to developing strong and caring family relationships include making relationships a priority, communicating effectively and providing support for each other. However, building and maintaining positive relationships with children and with all family members is not always easy. Different needs arising within the family may create tensions between family members, and pressures that come from outside may also impact on families and children. Sometimes these pressures can make the development of positive family relationships more difficult. Yet, even taking these influences into account, there is much the adult or adults in the family can do to build strong family relationships. Two main dimensions on the parenting role have been found to have important effects on family relationships and on children´s development, no matter what kind of family children are raised in. These are - communicating with warmth and care, establishing clear and appropriate limits for children´s behaviour. Positive styles of communication are a common element that supports both on these dimensions. All families experience ups and downs as they strive to do their best for children and deal with challenges that come along. Families vary in the expectations they hold regarding children´s behaviour and the role of parents and carers. This leads to differences in family relationships and communication styles. Many beliefs about what makes for strong family relationships are influenced by the values and experiences that parents and carers were exposed to in their own families while growing up. Cultural background can also impact on the values and goals adults have for children´s development. For example, it is common in Western industrialised societies like Germany for parents and carers to value children´s independence, whereas parents from other cultural backgrounds sometimes give more emphasis to family responsibilities than to children´s independence. There are also many differences within cultures. Differences in the ways that families are made up lead to different relationship and supports. Thank you Jessie for this well written article and I would like to say, children are a gift.

    Best regards


    Kurt Waschnig Oldenburg/Germany

    email: oldenburg1952@yahoo.de

  • Godwin, Mangalore/ Muscat

    Tue, Dec 10 2013

    Jessie you made my day once again.

  • John DSouza, Mangalore

    Tue, Dec 10 2013

    Importance of child is immense not only in family but also in society and world
    Love, desire, happiness and pleasure moves with pain, cost, pressure & tension
    A tiny sperm in mother’s womb grows into a tender kid, offered as a gift to earth
    Child of a family becomes the member of society by growing in the environment
    Fate of future world generation depends on the health & mind of today’s children

    Only the evidence makes the children of a family, but all are orphans of nature
    Selfishness and narrow mind limits the child as own, in fact it is of the society
    The time, feed (mind & body), situation and opportunity shape their personalities
    Each child is unique, the hand made of Almighty God, as a part of game of relay
    Being life in this world is a wonderful game of relay, generation after generation

  • Deepak, Paladka

    Tue, Dec 10 2013

    Agreed totally with Jessie. Good article


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