My Big Fat Mangalorean Wedding!

November 16, 2013

My Big Fat Mangalorean Wedding!

T’was at the TISS campus while studying my Masters degree

A family visited me on January 16, 1983

Their brother they said

His name is Wilfred

Jasmine Fernandes! there goes your days to be free.


Commissioning and mothballing was life in those days

For Wilfred, an Engineer in lonely Khurais

All I need is a bride

“Girls’ pictures!” he cried

But his heart went a flutter, as Jasmine’s captivates.


The scene changes to October, 27th in Bangalore

As Wilfred walked in, through the great door

A tray in my hand

Giggling did I stand

Our eyes met, our hearts knew there was more in store.


Like many of the day, it was love at first sight

And we dreamed of each other all day and all night

Two days later he did bring

Yes of course, the engagement ring

And we sat there, this time our smiles more bright!


And so separately in our homes on the eve of the great day,

The coconut milk called roce was filled in 3 plates,

While singing, their voices hoarse

They applied the oil and the roce

And then followed the bath, pampered you can say.


Early the following morn I was woken at 4:30

For make-up and dress-up in my white sari

Blessings they assailed

With Flossy My bridesmaid

From Kemman we left in the decorated ‘Amby’


Now Wilfred did not demand anything as dowry

And so my parents presented me jewels and saris

3 days earlier it was taken

My elders all laden

On the wedding morn, it was gathered by the women of the family.


Our Lady of Immaculate Conception church was in Gangolly

The best man Vincent stood there having arrived just early

The bridal bouquet he presented

Wilfred then lamented

“Can’t we start?” for he was inflicted with the patience of the Saudi


We walked down the aisle on November 17, 1983

Five priests at the altar, it was led by Fr. Regi

“I do” we said gladly

For we loved each other madly

And off to celebrate we went to scenic Moovathumudi.


But first we were diverted to Kundapur to the photographer

And took formal pictures while we posed happily together

At the Braganzas we did stop

For soft drinks to top

And then led in procession by men all the merrier.


The country wedding, was so rich in all its treasure

Of customs and traditions in a great big measure

Rose Band played songs

While the families sang along

Looking back still fills us with so much pleasure.


They then welcomed us to the beautifully decorated maatov

While singing traditional songs in Konkani called ovio

Given the general blessing

Smiles we were beaming

Amidst guests of my family and those of the Carvalhos


The women surrounded me at a separate part like a shed

There I changed my white sari to the gold and the red

More ‘ovio’ sung loudly

He put the ‘kariamani’

They adorned me with jewels and flowers on my head.


Another tradition that is celebrated with much grandeur

The exchange of saris by my mother-in-law and mother

The guests came to greet

New faces I did meet

My father-in-law then blessed us in traditional splendor.


The banana leaves were laid and we sat down on the mats

To eat of the food that was being off loaded from the vats

Delicious was the food

Cooked in that great mood

The ‘Laud da dei’ was sung, in Latin for Thanks.


My family then gathered with tears in their eyes

As daddy and mummy blessed me goodbye

The handing over ceremony

So solemn to many

I stepped into Wilfred’s house, my right foot this first time.


In front of the altar, I knelt and did pray

That God bless our lives wherever we stay

For the rest of the evening

It was drinking and dancing

And so came the end of my wedding day.


Now if you thought that was it and everything is done

On the third day was samman jawan, a feast in Kemman

My cousins danced a jig

T’was a surprise all too big

A gold ring from my mother, Wilfred now’s a son.


Yes, we walked down the aisle to say “I do”

The journey we started 30 years just flew,

God blessed us from above

With happiness and love

And decorated our paths with friends like you.



By Jasmine Carvalho
Jasmine Carvalho (nee Fernandes) was born in Kemmannu, lived her earlier life in Chennai, did her masters degree from Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Mumbai and lived most of her married life in Abqaiq and Dhahran, Saudi Arabia. She along with her husband retired to Toronto, Canada in 2012. She loves writing poetry for occasions, is an avid member of Toastmasters International, and enjoys traveling.
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Comment on this article

  • clara helen, Mangalore, Oman

    Sat, Nov 23 2013

    An excellent poem, as I was reading the poem, I recollected my wedding celebration! Hats off to you for bringing back my memory, I wish you a very Happy Anniversary! God bless you n yr fly.

  • Jascintha , Kemman/Sharjah

    Sat, Nov 23 2013

    Dear Wilfred & Jasmine, Belated good wishes on your 30th Anniversary. Better late than never. Hey, your poetry is as long as the big fat wedding and may you also have healthy lengthy life.

  • Jasmine Carvalho, Moovathumudi / Toronto

    Sat, Nov 23 2013

    No, I studied in Chennai (the then Madras). I was only born in Padukudru, Kemman.

  • Noble Leslie Ferrao, Shirva / Al Khobar, Saudi

    Sat, Nov 23 2013

    Wilfred / Jasmine
    We miss your presence here in Dhahran and remember all the assistance you gave us for sponsorship into Aramco plus co.ordination with the CCD kids. We will never forget your kindness....Luv and Best Wishes from
    Noble Leslie, Nirmala, Nikita and Leon Ferrao.

  • Hubert D'souza & fly., Thottam / Bahrain

    Fri, Nov 22 2013

    Hi Jasmine & Wilfred, Wish you both a very Happy 30th Wedding Anniversary.May God bless you both with good health, joy & happiness throughout the years ahead.The poem is beautifully written.Wishes from, Hubert,Astrid,Alita & Andrea.

  • archibald, kalianpur

    Fri, Nov 22 2013

    Congrates for ur 30th anniversary mrs karvallo are u from milagres highschool 1966 sslc pcm group ajd

  • amarnath, udupi

    Fri, Nov 22 2013

    God will not let u down May ur Happiness Grow for Ever my humble prayers for both of u happy 30 yrs GOD BLESS U

  • anitha Dsouza, bajpe

    Thu, Nov 21 2013

    Wishing you both A very happy 30th Wedding Anniversary.Enjoyed reading your poem.Continue writing.

  • Ronald Fernandes, Shirthady - Dammam / KSA

    Tue, Nov 19 2013

    Hello Wilfred & Jasmine,
    Congratulations & best wishes on your 30th Wedding Anniversary. Nice poem! May God bless you all with good health.

  • avitha machado, udupi

    Tue, Nov 19 2013

    Dear Jasmine aunty and Wilfy uncle,
    Best wishes to you both on your anniversary,
    May the love that u share Last your lifetime through,
    As u make a wonderful pair.
    Happy 30th Wedding Anniversary

  • Veena castelino, Kanakanady/new Zealand

    Tue, Nov 19 2013

    Dear jasmine and Wilfred, god bless you both on your 30th wedding anniversary. Well written poem. Really good...

  • John DSouza, Mangalore

    Tue, Nov 19 2013

    Beautiful poem, telling stories from the wedding day till pearl anniversary
    Good wishes, Wilfred & Jasmine, on your 30th wedding anniversary
    Praise be to God for protecting throughout life of joy and adversary
    Thank Daijiworld, for making to see and read your poem, compulsory
    Its long stay on site made to feel your people to wish you, necessary
    Leave Kemmannu and live in Canada, due to situations, mandatory
    Life is memorable by flow of wishes for big, fat 30th wedding anniversary

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Tue, Nov 19 2013

    Yes ma'am...
    Happy Anniversary again and may all your good wishes come true! Take good care of dear Dathu....

  • Rita Crasta, kundapur/USA

    Tue, Nov 19 2013

    Congratulations,Wilfred and Jasmine, on your 30th wedding anniversary,showers of blessings from above, wish you both good health and happiness,and many more anniversaries to come .

  • Chandran Avinjikat, Bhopal

    Tue, Nov 19 2013

    A beautiful poem! A joyous Konkani marriage well described. Happy Anniversary!

  • Wilfred and Jasmine Carvalho, Moovathumudi / Toronto

    Mon, Nov 18 2013

    We would like to thank all of you for your greetings. We did have a lovely day. And glad that you enjoyed the poem as I enjoyed writing it.
    I agree with you Michael, I wish I put my wedding day picture.

  • Jasmine Carvalho, Moovathumudi / Toronto

    Mon, Nov 18 2013

    R. Bhandarkar...What to do! I had a big, fat wedding. Naturally I have to match my wedding! Thanks for your greetings

  • Maurice Menezes, Udupi/Dubai

    Mon, Nov 18 2013

    Dear Jasmine/Wilfred,
    Hearty congratulations on your 30th wedding anniversary with solemn prayers for blissful,healthy and log married life.Your poetic vivid narration of a wedding day is indeed testimony of successful married life.
    May God continue showering His blessings on you both and children.
    With love
    Irene aunty and Maurice Uncle.

  • BF Carvalho & Fly., Mumbai / Bengaluru

    Mon, Nov 18 2013

    Hey Aunty,

    Happy pearl anniversary! Loved the poem, it paints a lovely picture of your wedding. Wish you many more years of togetherness.

    Dad / Mom / Kian / Clarisa and Me.

  • Mario Noronha, Mangalore/Mumbai

    Mon, Nov 18 2013

    Dear Uncle and Aunty,
    Wishing you and uncle a very Happy 30th (Pearl) Anniversary!!!
    And yes, Very lovely poem too!!!
    Love and Regards,
    Avlynn, Tricia, Blossom and Mario

  • Chris Andrade, Mangalore\Bangalore

    Mon, Nov 18 2013

    Congratulations on your 30th Wedding Anniversary! May God Almighty bless you both many more years of good health, happiness & togetherness. The poem is great.

  • Fr. Reggie, Midnapore

    Mon, Nov 18 2013

    That is a great things to remind of the beautiful past. which gives life to the present.

  • Vivienne & Tony Monteiro, Dhahran, Saudi Arabia

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Congratulations! Jasmine & Wilfred on your 30th Wedding Anniversary. May our Lord shower you both and your family with abundant blessings of good health, peace and happiness always.
    Enjoyed reading your poem very well written that reminded me of our wedding as well. Warm wishes from your God child Sean, Seymour, Tony & Vivienne.

  • Candida D'Souza, Dubai

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Dear Aunt and Uncle, wish you both a very Happy Annivesary!!! You are a perfect example of a wonderful couple and amazing human beings. Have a fantastic day and hope to see you soon in India. Love and warm regards Candida.

  • Sunitha Pinto, Salalah

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Congratulations to both of you on your 30th Wedding Anniversary!wishing u many more years of joy,happiness & togetherness! Enjoyed reading your poem,reminded me of the good old days we spent with you!

  • Roshan Fernandes, Kundapur / Perth, Australia

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Wishing you both many more years of togetherness and happiness. You both are a lovely couple always so thoughtful and loving. Congratulations on your 30th.

    Roshan, Reshma, Rajit & Rithika

  • anita britto, Mangalore/ Auckland

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Hearty Congrats on your 30th Wedding Anniversary , Jasmine & Wilfred.

    Enjoyed reading your beautiful poem and I hope this will be followed by many more.

  • Shala D'Souza, Kemman/Saudi

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Dearest Wilfred and Jasmine,Happy anniversary and wishing you lots of love, joy, peace and happiness today and always.
    Jasmine, I have always enjoyed your poems on all the special occasions here in Dhahran and also admired your writing skills. Keep going Jasmine!
    Wilfred and Jasmine thank you to both of you for making our family a part of yours.
    Wishes from Lennu, Shala, Shamanth & Shaina.

  • Veronica Pereira, Udupi/Bahrain

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Congratulations on completing 30 years of your married life. Nicely written beautiful memories.
    From Richard Veronica and Family.

  • Loy Dsouza , Dubai

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Aunty it's been such an amazing journey of your life and the way it's been narrated is simply awesome .There are so many things we could relate to ,the wedding the whole process but basically it brings back all the priceless memories .The love that you both share as a couple is a true example we feel inspired,myself and Veera wish you many such happy ones and the very best for the future_loy Veera Dsouza

  • Anita Saldanha, Belthangady/Saudi Arabia

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Hi Jasmine and Wilfred,
    we wish you happy 30th wedding anniversary, we miss you and all your poetry sung during our D'Mango get together.May God bless you with good health and happiness in your life.we always cherish those memories we spent in Dhahran.
    George & Anita.

  • Herman Monteiro, Mangalore

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Wonderful & beautiful memories Jasmine. Nice poem of your great day of life. Keep writing here. Your poem reminds me of my Wedding day about 7 months ahead of that.

    Wish you and Wilfred a Happy 30th Wedding Anniversary. May the Almighty God bless you & keep you you all in good health & cheer always.

    Its so nice to see your pics after about 23 years. Though we don't have contacts now, I always remember you Wilfred and ask about you with friends whenever I contact them.

  • Simon Lobo, Mangalore

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Hello Wilfy and Jasmine,

    Wish you a very Happy 30th Wedding Anniversary. I remember the 25th Wedding Anniversary in Dhahran International, seems like few days ago.

    Jasmine, nice narration and your poetic skills are clearly visible in the above writing. When Wilfy is watching CNBC, you may have been writing now days. Please keep up and wish you both all the best.

    Simon, Nirmala and family.

  • Marie, Mangalore/KSA

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Dear Jasmine & Wilfred,
    Congratulations on your 30th wedding anniversary.

    We were fortunate to enjoy the company of wonderful friends in Dhahran and you have both touched each one of us with your amazing, helpful, and God-loving personalities. We will always treasure those memories and we wish your family all of God's blessings. Jasmine, we enjoyed reading your poetry and remembered the poems you used to write for our occasions in Dhahran.
    Leo, Marie & family

  • Patrick and Judy Pinto, Kundapura/Canada

    Sun, Nov 17 2013

    Jasmin & Wilfred,
    We don't know you, but we read your beautiful poem and loved it! It was wonderful to go through the sequence of a Mangalorean Wedding, written so eloquently, as it brought back the memories of our own wedding which took place not too far away from yours(in Kundapura)in 1985!

    Thank you so much for giving us the pleasure of going through an intoxicating joyful memory of almost 30 years with your charming poem! Wishing you a very happy and beautiful anniversary! God Bless.

  • Anil Dsouza, Hale

    Sat, Nov 16 2013

    Hi Aunty,

    Your poem beautifully explains the emotions a person goes through during a wedding. Very well written.

    Happy 30th Wedding anniversary to you and uncle. Hope to see you soon.

  • Laila Pinto, Mangalore / Saudi Arabia

    Sat, Nov 16 2013

    Wish you and Wilfred ' A Very Happy 30th Wedding Anniversary'.Jasmine through your picturesque poem, you took us back 30 yrs down the memory lane to witness the moment.
    Wishes from
    Laila, Roland, Rohit & Rosella

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Sat, Nov 16 2013

    Dattu has become slim and think Jasmine has put on....Natural after 30 years...More happy sailings Dattu...Take care! More's to come...

  • Michael Machado, Dammam

    Sat, Nov 16 2013

    Dear Jasmine and Wilfred, my congratulations be accepted while celebrating the 30th anniversary. The narration is timely and vivid. It would have reached to a greater height, if a photo taken at Kundapur on the 17th of Nov.1983 is also ed side by side.

  • Joseph Barrows, Gangolli / Dammam

    Sat, Nov 16 2013

    Very well written dear Jasmine. Dattu must be very proud, not only to read but to enjoy the sweet memories with you! We were with you on your 25th Wedding anniversary at 'Dhahran International Hotel' to enjoy the lovely treat given by you. It looks like, just 1-2 years ago, so fast 5 years gone! We pray, "May Almighty God bless both of you abundantly on your 30th Wedding Anniversary, grant you Good health, long life (together), peace, grace and all that you pray & wish in your life". "Happy 30th Wedding Anniversary dear Dattu & voni and many more to come.... Golden, Diamond, and so on!!! "Congratulation & best wishes" from Joseph, Dezi, Sharon & Sharlene from Dammam, Saudi Arabia.

  • Jean Nazareth, M'lore/ U.S.A

    Sat, Nov 16 2013

    Well-written Jasmine ....took me down memory lane too.
    Wishing you both a Happy 30th Anniversary and may your Pearl Anniversary turn to Golden and Diamond too !!......this is my wish for you. love and fond wishes from us all.

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