August 24, 2013
A man's life is normally divided into five main stages namely infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood and old age. In each of these stages an individual has to find himself in different situations and face different problems. The old age brings it’s own problems. In old age, physical strength deteriorates, mental stability diminishes, so at this last stage of life, parents can only expect some help from their children. Parents and children have the purest relationship. It is the duty of children to look after their parents when they are old and cannot care for themselves. Now a days, with a large number of youth hitting foreign shores, women working outside homes, many ageing parents are left behind alone or put in old people's homes, an act which has devastating effects on the emotions of the abandoned parents.
There are 81 million old people in India. According to an estimate, nearly 40% of senior citizens living with their families are reportedly facing abuse of one kind or the other but only 1 in 6 cases actually come to light.
Our parents gave us life. They raised us. They start out as care givers and later become friends and in return in their old age they need a companion, someone who will look at the world from their point of view, relax, sit, and listen. Children should be responsible for their elderly parents' care. Children should not forget that "today we are at this stage is just because of our parent’s blood, sweat, efforts and blessings”. Parents give everything they can to make sure their children grow up safe and ready to face the future ahead of them. It is for this reason that when the time comes, children have a moral obligation to take care of their parents. It is their duty to show respect and love and to care for their own old parents rather than have strangers care for them. We can see present generation is doing opposite of that because now a days everybody is so busy with his/ her professional life that they cannot give or spent quality time with their old parents. They often ignore them and their demands and send their old parents to nursing homes.
The very concept of an old age home is new to India. An old age home is usually the place, a home for those old people who have no one to look after them or those who have been thrown out of their homes by their own children. The place is of course like home where the inmates get all the facilities for a routine living like food, clothing, and shelter. Old age homes are well looked after but, the much-needed love, and care of loved ones is of course sadly missing. How any outsiders can provide solace? In India till now, the old people staying away from the home, from their children or left to themselves is not considered to be a very happy situation. This concept of separating the elders from the youngsters has been imported into India from the West. However, for the West, it’s their original life style that two generations never stay under one roof. But, in India where for centuries, not only two but also even three generations have lived together. This new concept of nuclear families with the elders ousted, is just too touching to bear.
If in any old age home we talk to the inmates, everyone’s story would be much the same- turmoil in the family, disgust against the old and finally the removal of the elders from the family. It is the breakup of the system of the joint family and the introduction of a nuclear family that has brought this unhappy situation enter our society and the old age homes have had to come up to cater to the needs of the elderly. Besides this, since the women have started working out of homes, there's no one to look after the routine needs of the elders at home. Also with the women working, come their attitudes towards the elders. This attitude of the women has also largely contributed to the removal of elders from families. That’s the reason, the necessity for old age homes was felt. The entire spectrum of circumstances has led to this unhappy need for old age homes. No matter how well they are looked after in these homes, a single visit to an old age home brings depression to the onlooker as no one - Yes, no one seems to be happy there. It is very clear to all who visit an old age home that, all the inmates are there, not for the love of being away from home and independent but because there is no better alternative left for them, once they are neglected and unwanted in their homes by their own children. The only solace is that, they are getting their daily requirements of shelter and food - if not the bonds of love from the family.
It is the family atmosphere, and being among their flesh and blood that most of the old people miss at the old age home. They do get their daily needs fulfilled but from where will the love of the dear ones come? Definitely there are some things that money can’t buy. Love is one of them. A person needs love and support all his life no matter how independent or successful he is. Old age especially demands affection and love. When a person grows old, he inevitably needs someone to be with him. If we see around us, elderly people of a family either live with their off springs or in a separate old age homes under the supervision of professionals. I strongly feel that older people should spend rest of their lives with their children as it would help both their children and themselves in the following ways:
Elders will feel good and accepted if their own children look after them when they are in most need of someone. Children are brought up by their parents since they are born. Especially in a society to which I belong, parents are always ready for all the sacrifices they can make if demanded by life for the upbringing of their children. So, if our own parents are sent in some professional homes, they will not get the feeling being loved and accepted rather they would feel dejected by life.
Secondly, Experience is certainly the foremost attribute that youngsters can gain from their parents and grandparents. Children can definitely learn many good things from their parent’s and grandparents' by living with them.
Finally, the bond between parents and children unites the entire family and fondness and concern for our own blood relations is a great feeling. If all the people of a family live together, the unity amongst themselves will be strength and confidence of each of the person.
So, I believe, elderly people living with their children and grandchildren are definitely a better system as it helps both the elders and the youngsters in every way.
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