July 20, 2013
Someone has rightly called human life as a journey between life and death. But this short but unique journey of life flows into various directions, just like a stream of water. Amidst the busy technological world of today, many go through this journey without even really being aware, ‘ What’s really happened/ happening to them?’ Quite often people are busy chasing their dreams and toiling for success. In most cases, even after succeeding, people still feel a lack within. I would name this state, flows from the human needs of a human being. It originates in the deepest being of our being.
I am going to discuss six of such, most basic yearnings of human life.
Yearning to be Loved: is one of the most basic need of every human. We know, the lasting impact the gentle touch of a mother has, to her child. That loving touch, indeed determines the future going about of the child. As we grow, the struggle to be loved is all the more. Very often parents wonder at their young children, dating. That is their way of seeking the life giving force, love. The young and the old alike want to be loved. But the secret is that we feel truly loved only by loving others. Love is self giving and self fulfilling. I won’t be wrong if I compare it to bone marrow – Life Sustaining Force.
Yearning to Relate: Popular philosopher, Levinas , calls ‘Human a – Being in Relation.’ We today hear about the growing individualism all around. It’s still a mystery to me, whether anybody truly likes to be alone, always. I don’t deny the fact that there are people, who for some time lead an isolated life. But, basically there is always deep within us, a yearning to relate. This yearning within human, in a very subtle way, points towards a higher reality that is relational. We discover ourselves more and more in relation to others. Thus instead of considering the other as a threat, if we are able to consider them as a gift, we will grow into depth in our own being.
Yearning to be Accepted: There is a core need in every human to be accepted, totally by others. Especially among the young adults we find the variety of expressions of this basic yearning. We do quite often meet people, who seek for attention. Many even put on a mask, just to be accepted by others. And some others withdraw, finding it difficult to be accepted by others around.
One thing that I do have realized in my life that –Sooner or later people will accept us as we are, provided we are daring enough to be ourselves, devoid of our masks, for every human is unique and special. No one likes copies. Do we have the courage to be ourselves, no matter what the situation is?
Yearning for Identity: I believe, no human in this world, likes to be ignored. We want to be recognized. We would like to build our own identity in this society. Sooner or later, as part of human growth, everyone gets stuck with the question, ‘Who Am I?’ We try to answer this existential question in many and various ways, quite often unconsciously. It is while answering this question; either we build ourselves as a positive force or a negative influence, which is lasting.
Yearning for Belongingness: It is between the age of 18-24, the question, ‘Whom Do I belong to?’, find its strong expression and continues thereafter. Having a glance at the human history, it is obvious, that the need to belong is a basic existential need. In our being it is found that there is a deeper inner craving to belong to the creation around, to our world outside and to someone special. Feeling of belongingness and the lack of it either brings the best or worst out of us, respectively.
Yearning for Satisfaction: It is noticed among the aged, that they are either happy and positive or bitter and negative. People who have lived a full life, lived a life where the person had time for others and taken enough time to address the inner yearning of his / her own self, is generally at this stage of life, look satisfied and happy. The dominant mood at this point is – ‘I have lived my life. I have done well.’
The other category of people, for whom in their youthful days, probably things mattered more than people and success more than relationships. It is a state of dissatisfaction. The dominant thought here is – ‘I did not do what I should have!’ I suppose, it’s a sorry state, for the person has no more time and energy to undo and redo.
I am at times, stuck with the question, ‘Is success ultimate in life?’
Answering this, I get reminded of the popular story of the dog. There was a dog that would run behind a truck every day, with rage. After a while, when it is tired, it used to get back. This was the everyday story. Now let’s imagine one fine day, it manages to catch hold of the truck, what can it really do to the truck?
I don’t deny the need for success in life. But I do stress on the point that we need to make the journey beautiful and meaningful. For this, we need to give a little more time to understand the mystery of ourselves and its yearnings and respond to them. At times we need to be compassionate towards ourselves, when things don’t go the way we planned. Let’s not forget, we are not machines, we are human beings.
I believe, only a person who is aware and takes time to respond to the deepest yearnings of his/her being, will be able to live a fully human and a fully alive life.
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