February 29, 2012
Once upon a time, not so long back, say 25 years ago, for most of the Mangalorean Gulfees, Christmas season was meant to be holiday time and most important,a time to rest. There were a few exceptions - many parents having school-going children, had to take such holidays during June - July due to school holidays in summer.
I was one of those, who was obliged to take vacation in June - July in the midst of monsoon and floods ravishing the Mangalore region all over.
They say luck favours the brave. And finally I got my opportunity last year, to take my full one month break between the third week of December to third week of January. I had made great plans – have good food at home, some selected tours, visiting very close friends and taking rest!
How wrong I was. In my vacation plan, I conveniently forgot that in the span of thirty days of vacation, I had been invited for over 75 personal functions (which incidentally covered everything from christening to funeral and death anniversary mass), and from this number there were at least 45 functions which I could not miss, if I needed to survive in our society and there were four functions on the same day covering the geographical distance of Mysore to Udupi. If any one has doubts why our CM uses helicopter for travel, here is the answer. I wished I was CM for this period of time!
It was in order that with my lovely wife around, occasionally we could divide and share the functions, but on certain days, it was a matter of dividing limbs and legs and sending them to different occasions so that we can have resemblance of our presence and make our dear family members and friends happy. Though in one occasion, being our 25th wedding anniversary we could not divide that way. Wife and me were together all the time. However that occasion of ours also resulted in a domestic commotion.
With various occasions around and the prime target being our 25th anniversary, hosts of close relatives descended into the house.
God created Adam and gave a companion in the form of Eve and thus sisters-in-law’s were born. I am lucky to have four of them, representing different geographies – one from Sharjah, one from Mumbai, one from Bangalore and one from Muscat. With their arrival, will their husbands be left behind? With both mum and dad visiting Mangalore, it is but natural that kids too will follow. And the house was so suddenly flooded with thirty-plus people (me included) thereby converting the house into a mini family oriented United Nations. Need to pity mum and dad, who are nearing 80 years in age!
To have so many people all together is great. That is, if you have decided that rest is the last thing you would like to venture into. Even if you want to rest and even the house of Dad-Mum has five bed rooms, you may not get second chance to sleep in the same place since it would have been occupied by some one else! However having all family members meeting all together after a very long period of time is some thing every one need to experience in life. Even though everyone was busy with their own functions and occasions to attend, there was a sincere effort on every ones part especially from my sisters-in-law to carry on with the conversation and share the joy and sorrow of life. Besides the confusion and mix up, someones pant is worn by some one else, the suitcase kept in the room is missing (carried to another room), key of the Muscat flat has reached Mumbai and the best part, since I was travelling through Bangalore, my dear sister-in-law offered to take ten kilos of my luggage in her car, so that I can travel light, only to leave behind 15 kg of her/ families' luggage which I then had to carry in train!
One thing was common with all sisters-in-law, and even my wife seconded on this, each one of them had a grudge over their respective husbands. General complaint, God does not create men like he used to create before. Well, with the might of ladies going in these lines we mortal men can take solace with a couple of rounds of whisky or rum. Who are we to go against their opinion?
However in the midst of all this, and even though I was not a part of their conversation, and mostly acting as if I am sleeping even while sitting, I could not miss, sharing of their own rather lighter sided experiences in life which is narrated below.
My Bangalore based SIL got a piano as a gift for her elder daughter. SIL in her wisdom decided that it is not the right time for her daughter to spend time on music since studies should get priority. Hence rather than allowing daughter to practice with piano, she decided to practice on the set. One day, she did not find the piano at home, instead there was a trumpet in its place. Husband explained to her, “See Darling, now that you know basics of piano, I want you to learn other instruments too which will make you real all rounder….. You should have seen the light in her eyes as she was narrating this incident. However things did not appear that straightforward to me. As we were on one to one discussion I confronted BIL with my question. You really brought Trumpet for her for the reason stated? My BIL is a noble man, but his mischief is always shown in his eyes, which I could read now. He said, actual reason Vivian, with Piano playing she was also singing……. I though with Trumpet she can make only one noise…..
It was early married days for my brother and SIL at Sharjah and it was even great fun for me to visit their house whenever I could. And mostly I was always flooded with nicely made dishes from my sister in law. Again it was only offered to me and not to her husband. It was during one of the conversations during this family reunion I really got to know the real reason! Being a novice in cooking during those days, she was trying the food on me, before serving to her husband!
Experience of my Muscat based SIL, as husband and wife visited Germany was really hilarious. Well the trains there look like five star as I was told. Our lady decided to visit the Train Toilet. However instead of pressing the flush button she pressed the SOS ( emergency) button. Even if before she could realize the mistake, the door is open and four marshals were standing in front of her. Rest of the explanation has to come from my BIL who was also present there in person, even though my SIL claims she was ready to come out by the time Marshals came in, body language of her husband did not suggest as such!
With all above explanations passed, can my Mumbai SIL be left behind. It was their 10th wedding anniversary and very close family members had gathered at their residence. Here was my brother raising a toast for his wife saying all good things, but winding up the toast saying, at times she manages to make me nuts…… Now the reply from my SIL. “My dear husband … yes I have managed to make him a nut, but Cashew Nut…….. very tasty, very delicious, rare but expensive……….”
Just to say above incidents happens in all the families. It is the love that matters.
To add my bit of experience , it was like a heroic deed for me to say, whom ever I meet, that I attended three function today, tomorrow I have four and day after two. While it was true that in a roll for 14 days, I was not at home even twice for home food. I met this priest, who was very close to me when I was a student and since I met him after a very long time, we were sitting together. We both were attending an engagement program at 8 PM .
I told him, father, this is my third program today and now I have to go to the fourth one, so excuse me if I go early…….
He said, “I understand. Even I have to attend another program, my cousins son's wedding. I could not go to his sister's wedding now I have no choice. You know what, this morning I have to offer months mass at 6 am in my church in Mangalore, then there was another mass at Udupi that I have to attend at 9 in the morning, from there I have to go to Sastan at 12 noon for ordination of one of my student, at 4 pm back to Mangalore for the funeral of Mr…… and at 6 pm at Milagres for the nuptials of ……. And now I am here. “
I had no words to say. While I thought I am the only one to have functions, here is a priest, with 70 plus age attending all the functions because he does not want to hurt people, mostly not even related to him. Piously I said, “father trust once you are back home you will get some rest.” “No he said, I have to offer mass again at six in the morning and just now I was told a parishioner has died and the funeral is at nine tomorrow morning. !”
Well after my hectic experience I am back in gulf and getting much deserved rest!
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