January 6, 2012

There are husbands who behave as CID at home, keeping watch on each and everything that their wives do, while they themselves may be disloyal. The main ingredient of marriage is trust. A wife needs respect more than anything else. When she is not respected, loved, taken care of and sidelined in the family there starts the hatred. Planning is the best thing by which fights can be minimized. Both the members have to have control on their minds and not blame each other. This will be better for their and their children’s future.

The important factor is that, if man is the superpower, he should make his woman happy in all ways, and also respect her, not treat her like a slave. Women are emotional, sensitive and lovable. Pure lack of understanding and the absence of sacrificing attitude together have caused many marriages to break. When money becomes more important in any relationship the basic foundation of love and marriage is lost. Many marriages fail due to the fact that couples today have failed to understand the true spirit of marriage. Sacrifice is what makes a perfect relationship.

Relationships fail when both husband and wife make demands and are not ready to come to terms with each other's strengths and weaknesses. Self-centeredness and assertion of the personal views do go a long way in developing problems in couple’s life.

With the society judging you in terms of wealth, achievements and calibres add to the misunderstandings between the couple. One can understand parting due to sex deficiency because sex is part of married life, but parting just because of lack of money without justifying the reason is foolishness. One can understand when fights erupt if the spouse has enough money but does not spend it on family, but when the earnings are not enough one should learn to live with it. There are many who spend more than their earnings by borrowing and invite problems. Extra marital relations lead to fights, and mobile phones only add to the agony.

In a civilized society the marriage of a man and a woman is not just a financial and physical arrangement of living together but a sacred contract, a gift of God, to lead a happy, enjoyable life and continue the lineage. The main goal of marriage is the realization of tranquility and compassion between the spouses. A marriage must be hence approached with utmost seriousness, entered into with the purest intent, and cultivated religiously. If woman has domestic responsibilities then she should not have financial obligation and the economical responsibility should be on the shoulders of the man. Human relations are strange. Today there is love and affection and tomorrow there is hate. In the end, what counts is how couples behave and the reason they get married. Is it for love, money or for something else, like property, status, etc. When what they expect is not sufficient enough or not available then there are problems and ultimately adverse consequences.

If there is true love between the spouses, all problems can be solved all problems amicably. The most important thing in married life is to live with content and trust each other. "Peer Pressure" is also a contributor to the fight. We are constantly compared and measured and have lost the ability to just live well. I guess we lack the ability to appreciate good things; we still have the colonial attitude of being ranked and never appreciate anyone for simply trying. We should shed this attitude and go back to living with the basics, and throw arguments and fights out of the house. 

As they say, "A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband."