How Busy are You?

  •   Wed, May 04 2011
  •   By Dr Deborah D'Almeida

May 5, 2011

How many times have you been told - sorry, not now....sorry, I'm busy...sorry, I don't have time. Sounds familiar, doesn't it? I, for one, was at the receiving end of this rapidly spreading phenomenon too, the most recent being at my meticulously planned wedding. Knowing that people in Mangalore are notoriously late, we had 6:45 pm printed as the reception time on the wedding invite. Guess what...they faithfully turned up at 8 pm. Aaargh... for the record, we started at 7 pm anyway.

A quick rundown on the scene today:

It has now become fashionable to be

Late for parties

Put your phone on voicemail always

Reply emails eons after it arrived in your inbox

Never return phone calls

Forget birthdays...123greetings.com even has a section for belated birthday cards

Make an appointment before you visit your school buddy or the cousin you practically grew up with as a child.

In this era of showmanship and in-your-face publicity, people have time to post the tiniest of details of their lives on Facebook/Orkut but cannot spare a moment for some kindness. Strange... I thought technology and progress was meant to bring us closer. Or was it....?

I have known parents who, seated in their living room, do not know whether their children are at home or not, people who do not know who their next door neighbour is, children who love their nanny more than their Mommy...the list is endless. All this supposedly to look important and busy. Evidently, being busy has been misconstrued as being rich and therefore important. The busier you are, the more important you are... or so they think it is!!

Mark Twain once said, "It is nice to be important but it is more important to be nice." Truly, in a life that's so short, there's no time to be petty. We owe it to all those wonderful people who have given us the gift of their love, time and friendship. And even if no one ever did you a favour, why not be nice for a change?

Take time to make that phone call to a friend.

Be on time for a party and compliment your host.

Write an email to your aging parents, give them a surprise call or a visit.

Reply to that text message. Takes only 5 seconds.

Reply your mails - don't you spend time uploading pics of your latest night-out/ foreign tour on FB? Trust me...replying an email is even faster!

All of us like to feel important but we forget that being nice will make you important in a more everlasting way to someone.

Think about it!!
By Dr Deborah D'Almeida
Dr Deborah D’Almeida graduated in medicine from AJIMS, Mangalore and currently teaches pathology at the American University of Antigua (West Indies. Her interests include quizzing, compering, speech writing, poetry writing, reading and debate.
She blogs at www.deborah.co.in and also runs " Debville Creations", a unique venture that prides itself in writing refreshingly new speeches for any occasion with a harmonious blend of eloquence and emotion, available at http://www.fantasticspeeches.blogspot.com
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Comment on this article

  • Deborah, Mangalore/Antigua

    Wed, May 11 2011

    Not all gadgets are a fad. You will remember how people resisted the television,radio, computers and internet. Today, they've become part of our lives. Every invention of the modern man has its pros and cons. The key to happiness, in my opinion is to use it in moderation and not let it overtake our lives. While I agree that these tools can be addictive, man always has the liberty to choose how he wishes to use it.

  • Deborah, Mangalore/Antigua

    Wed, May 11 2011

    The beauty of this communication age is that living life in the public domain does not necessarily entail loss of privacy. The key is to get your priorities right, like you did and use your freedom to choose whom to keep in touch with and to what to extent.

  • Janet Harris-Murphy, Montserrat/Antigua

    Tue, May 10 2011

    Dearest Dr. Deborah,

    Great and inspiring article. The Bible is certainly fulfilling men becoming lovers of themselves. However, we could only be remembered by the good things we have done in life by reaching out to each other and be our brother's keeper. Treat each one the way we want to be treated in return. Keep it going my dear friend. May, God continue to bless you in a very special way.

  • sunil kumar shetty, Karkala/Riyadh

    Sun, May 08 2011

    Well said friend.By doing this we will be mentally peaceful...so dont engage your mind by thinking about your future and past...be happy...

  • Rosaline Fernandez, Mangalore/Dubai

    Sun, May 08 2011

    Nice article. It is a wakeup call for habitual late-comers!

  • Sheila, Mumbai / Dubai

    Sun, May 08 2011

    Debbie - All that you have said is so true, I dont understand why people are so false, I guess they feel it is prestigious to say "I am Busy" when one calls, or to be late at parties.
    You are located in such a lovely place - Antigua, West Indies. I visited Jamaica last year and believe I did not want to come back to Dubai - love, love, love the place.
    Happy writing

  • Sharel D'Almeida, Manglore

    Sun, May 08 2011

    Congratulations debbie.... great article....:)

  • Wilson saldanha, Shirthady/ Kuwait

    Sat, May 07 2011

    You had 6:45 pm printed as the reception time on the wedding invite. Guess what...they faithfully turned up at 8 pm. Aaargh... for the record, you started at 7 pm anyway.....

    In Kuwait, they print 7pm and crowd comes after 9.30 pm and Party starts after 10pm. 19 years back when I came to Kuwait, I attended a communion party at 11.55 am as it was mentioned 12 noon on the invitation. In the hall only the father of boy present and looked at me like a stranger. I was surprised at that time. I came to know the reason when everyone came inside after 2pm and party started at 2.30 pm.

    We don't have time for many things and spend many hours to watch daily soaps on TV, dedicate our time to watch all the matches of silly cricket, play Games like farm ville punctually in time on FB. For all other things we are very busy with a great excuse as we are going for work and all the time busy behind children's education.

    " If there is will, there is always a way to make time for our dear ones..."

  • Preethi, M'lore / Doha

    Sat, May 07 2011

    Well said Deborah..  Today in this busy world, near ones only don't have time for for each other.
    All are so busy that, people don't even have Time to say Hi- hello in face book & other social networks.

    Soooo busy .....

  • Mattie, USA

    Fri, May 06 2011

    Sorry, but I don't agree. How many of us are overly busy because in this technology age, too many people expect priority? Aren't we all a little overwhelmed by the old college pal who feels rebuffed because we haven't replied to his email in a timely manner, the facebook friends who are hurt that because we don't "like" their status often enough, the work colleague who get riled when the call goes straight to voicemail - sorry, but I was at my nephew's christening..., the friends who give minute by minute plays of their lives and expect advice on everything from what to do about their marriages to what kind of salad dressing they should buy? At a certain point I recognized that my parents weren't going to be here forever and neither was I. My child was growing up so fast and here I was, busy trying to put off texts from people who had love life problems. I had to let some of these fringe characters go in order to create more time with my family and very close friends. I am always polite but rarely as available as people would like me to be. Years ago, you might have received a letter from an old friend once a year or so! What a joy that this person took time out to say - hey, I love you and fondly remembered our college days. How lovely! Now, our relationships have an artificial pressure to "stay in touch" constantly - due to this technology. In my opinion, we need to develop more consciousness about each other's lives, time and boundaries. I let you be - with love.

  • ashenoy, mangloor

    Fri, May 06 2011

    Busy, busy, very busy,.....
    On internet? On face book etc, etc. No time to talk.
    Get to basics. Live a life.

    Stay away from modern gadjets and gimmicks. Its all a waste of your life and money.
    Instead get busy with gardening and grow and eat fresh vegies. This busi-ness is worthy of busy.

  • Ashwini vas, Mangalore

    Fri, May 06 2011

    Dear Deborah,
    I really agree with your comment.
    ossam!great job.

  • Joviel D'Cruz, Udupi

    Fri, May 06 2011

    Nice article Dr Deborah D'Almeida, Keep up the good writings. It is true that, the people of our age do not have time for others. Always we hear the word "busy", though they keep enjoying, having fun all around, all the time. For certain important things, "NO TIME" Strange !!!

  • Aladdin Pais, Mangalore / Mumbai

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Dear Dr. D'Almeida,
    Real nice article thank you very much as I am extremely happy that people like you are sharing my thoughts whereby this "time carelessness" is spreading like a VIRUS and need to be controlled.
    Right thinking and dedication surely will bring an ease / solution to this menace as I share below what I tell my latecomer visitors.
    As shared by you, everyone says they were busy or stuck in traffic etc.. I ask them in return as to how they reach on time for their flights or bus journey where no one waits for you if your are late and your money is GONE.
    Same way if one treasures one's time surely he will the time of others too and put to an end to this careless or carefree attitude to not valuing time.
    Kind Regards
    Aladdin Pais

  • Prem Patrao, Olathe, KS

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Congrats Debbie on a nice article.

  • rohan, Mangalore

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Very relevant article short and sweet because who has time to read the lengthy ones, busy you know...

  • Abhilash, Mangalore/Bangalore

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Well said debbie... People do take each other for granted these days... Very thoughtful of you to point it out... Cheers... All d best...

  • sweta sheth, mangalore/vellore

    Thu, May 05 2011

    good one deborah :)....its really you :)

  • Anita Sequeira, Bendore - Mangalore

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Dear Debi,
    That was an excellent article....Keep up the good work. would love to see many more articles from you.
    God bless you always.
    Urbanitamanda

  • Sathish vas, Mangalore/Dubai

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Dear Deborah,
    I was happy to read your article.It is true that mangalore weddings have no time and people make themselves busy even if they are not busy.

  • Joel, Sydney

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Sorry i am Busy ll comment on this article later...

    Jus Kidding.... Great article

  • Reemi D Barua, Fort Wayne, IN USA

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Congratulations. I am so proud of you. Keep up the good work.

  • Deborah, Mangalore/Antigua

    Thu, May 05 2011

    At the outset, I would like to thank Daijiworld for giving amateur writers a wonderful platform for creative expression. You are indeed doing yeoman service in this regard.
    A big thank you to everyone for posting their comments and best wishes. With your encouragement and support, I hope to continue writing on this forum.

  • Neville Fernandez, Mangalore/Antigua

    Thu, May 05 2011

    That was a lovely article. Keep up the good work.

  • A.S.Mathew, U.S.A.

    Thu, May 05 2011

    It is an absolute truth that the
    present generation is busy, also
    acting busier than actually they
    are!

    Recently, when I call some people
    in India, both relatives and friends, they all repeatedly
    tell " I am very busy". Is it to
    impress others that they are undertaking some highly responsible
    jobs or something else?

    Majority of the people lost touch
    with the proper priorities of life,
    and being entangled in unnecessary
    affairs of life. So the time is
    being wasted, and life is getting
    into a total confusion. At that
    point, they tell repeatedly " I am
    very busy".

    Good article touching everybody
    all over the world.

  • Namratha Lobo, Mangalore/Bangalore

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Dear Deborah,
    I'm glad to see your article published in Daijiworld. Certain virtues have disappeared in todays' fast life,but people forget that the heart still beats 72 times in a second. Life is now becoming lifestyle and friends and loved ones, a liability.Keep writing and hope to see more of your articles. Love Brian & Namratha

  • Jess, Kuwait

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Good one Deborah, really a good advice for young and old alike. God bless.

  • James D' Almeida, Mangalore/Attavar

    Thu, May 05 2011

    My dear Deb,
    Congratulations! Delighted to read your lovely article. Keep up the good work. Would like to see regular write-ups in the "Daiji".

    May God Bless you.

    Loving Dad.

  • Prajwal Mathias/Pinto, mangalore/bangalore

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Dear Debbie,
    very nice article ,.We are all proud of you.
    God bless &Take care

    Love Pubby santosh & Ria

  • Willie Menda, UAE

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Thought provoking piece of article by Dr.Deborah.
    Finding time is a matter of one's attitude.
    We can find time by prioritising what we need to do and by managing the available time with skill.

  • Nirmala, Maryhill

    Thu, May 05 2011

    Hi Debi How are you? Nice article

  • John Tauro, Mangalore / Kuwait

    Thu, May 05 2011

    An advice for both young and old, worth practising.

  • Shalmal, Padubidri

    Wed, May 04 2011

    good one......

  • dolphy dsouza*, Juliebagh Pandeshwar

    Wed, May 04 2011

    Dear Deborah,
    I am glad to read your artricle in which you have tried to protray the present human human-being. It is always true that the busiest person always finds time for everything. It is only a matter of time- management and priorities in one's life. I am very proud of your achievements in life. God Bless you. Uncle Dolphy-Rosario, Mangalore.


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