Dec 14, 2010
OK!! This one is a blessing in disguise to all those of the men community who are tired of listening to their female counterparts about do’s and don’ts.
Women have proved that they are capable of excelling in all fields. Tarla Dalal made a statement by cooking the best recipes whilst making the Indian male models and actors stand next to her… The only thing those male models did was to heat the pan which is not really termed as cooking.
Saina and Sania have excelled in sports; the latter excelling in cross-country relations too... Arundhati Roy in literature, Pratibha Patil in politics and economics...the list is endless.
They have completed the most difficult missions, scaled great heights. But talk about physics and they fail to excel. Men excel in physics distinctly; women either don’t understand the laws of physics or have no regard for them. I believe a Physics 101 is in order.
Law of constant volume: This law states that "Volume is constant as long as pressure is held constant." The volume of an object is constant whichever way you bend it.
So when packing for a trip, women say, "Don’t just stuff all the clothes in the bag. Please fold the clothes properly and in order." This statement is not valid. When guys stuff all clothes in a bag in a haphazard way, the volume of clothes remain the same, then why take the trouble of folding the clothes and keeping them in order? Stuffing the clothes saves time and we can utilize that time for other useful things like watching a cricket match or finding the other pair of sock.
The law of uniform heat transference: This law states that "Over time, differences in temperature, pressure, and chemical potential tend to equilibrate in an isolated physical system." In lay terms, it means that all things attract heat irrespective of their location (no pun intended).
A wet towel would take the same amount of time to dry whether it is on the towel-hanger or on bed or on the sofa. This saves money and here’s how. Towel-hangers cost a handful of money. If we are getting the benefit of drying minus the towel hanger, then so be it.
Law of magnetism: This law states "Absence of free magnetic poles."
Humans don’t have the magnetic ability to attract germs and bacteria. Germs attract germs, fingers don’t! When women shout at us to wash our hands repeatedly, we don’t really do it. Here’s where the law of non-magnetism comes into effect. Our hands are not magnets that will attract germs, virus, and other bacteria. Therefore, we feel washing hands more than once a day is a waste of our valuable time. This valuable time can be utilized for some valuable activities like scratching (any part of the body including hair), biting nails, etc... This is also an important example of the law of conservation as we are saving water.
Newton’s First Law: Everything remains in a state of rest or uniform motion unless it is acted upon by an external unbalanced force. This means that in the absence of a non-zero net force, the center of mass of a body either remains at rest, or moves at a constant speed in a straight line.
In simple words, it means when we throw things around like shoes, clothes, keys, watch etc they remain at the place where we threw it. My mom always keeps shouting "Don’t throw the keys on the couch, keep them on the key holder or the table, else you’ll lose them." This contradicts Newton’s First Law. The keys will continue to stay at the same place on the couch unless someone or some force moves them. That’s why we continue throwing things knowing they will never get lost.
Newton’s Third Law: To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction. When guys leave the lights on, we do it on purpose because we know that somewhere in the world someone is switching the lights off. When someone switches off the lights, it reduces global warming and hence we contribute to global warming.
Another example would be when guys buy unnecessary food/things while grocery shopping. We know it’s unnecessary but we shop for such things because when we buy things we don’t really need, someone else is not buying that thing.
Law of conservation of mass: The law of conservation of mass, also known as principle of mass/matter conservation is that the mass of a closed system (in the sense of a completely isolated system) will remain constant over time.
The best example why men know and understand this law is the toothpaste tube. We tend to squeeze the toothpaste tube from any angle. This is because no matter where we squeeze the toothpaste tube from, the amount of toothpaste inside the tube will always remain the same. Squeezing the tube from the bottom to the top does not mean extra toothpaste. That’s why we tend to ignore when women shout at us to squeeze the toothpaste tube from bottom.
Law of opacity: Opacity is the measure of impenetrability to electromagnetic or other kinds of radiation, especially visible light.
In simple words, light does not travel through our opaque clothing. Therefore, no matter how torn or tattered our underwear or vests are, it will never be visible to public. So when a wife or mother tends to shout at us for changing our underwear or vest, we ignore that shouting as we are thoroughly familiar with the law of opacity. That’s why it is perfectly fine and safe to use our innerwear until it is reduced to a few strands of threads.
Law of fixed boiling point under constant pressure: This law states that at constant pressure the volume of a fixed mass or quantity of gas varies directly with the absolute temperature.
While driving, if the petrol tank indicator turns orange, it does not mean the petrol will evaporate instantly. So ladies, please do not keep shouting and nagging about the petrol tank getting evaporated in the next few seconds. Also, do not drive to the next petrol station to fill the tank. Just remember this law. We abide by this law and in addition to it, we love challenges. The petrol in the tank does not instantly evaporate as soon as the indicator lights up.
Law of sound not being in visual spectrum: This law states electric and magnetic fields relate to their sources.
This means our senses don’t have to be focused on its source. There are several instances during the day when we are glued to the television watching a cricket match or just admiring FTV whereas from the background we hear sounds like "look at me when I am talking to you" or "please shut the TV and come and listen to me." Despite this shouting we continue doing our act and here’s why.
When we are watching TV and our eyes are glued to it, we can still hear what females are saying. We don’t necessarily have to look at them to hear what they are saying. Our eyes might be glued to the television, but we can clearly hear the words they are speaking. That’s why we tend to continue doing our thing.
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