The True Meaning of Love

Nov 28, 2010

Love - young people today are attracted by this word, and why not - it is an experience filled with fantasy and high emotions. The movies today have completely changed the meaning of love. I once heard a priest saying that there are three types of love:

Love towards oneself which is selfish love
Love for other people which is a little selfish
Love towards God - no selfishness involved here

Now that I have mentioned the types scratch your heads and think which category you belong to. If we faithfully answer this question the third category is almost zero percent today but we all come under the first category and some under the second one. Somehow, it is not possible for us to accept the truth that we are egoistic and sadistic - we love to see the person who had caused us pain long back suffer today.

I don't have my grandparents but I have always heard stories from my parents where the moral used to be that one must forgive one's enemies and love them because only that can make them realize their mistake. It seemed foolishness to me. How can you forgive a person who has hurt you - it's impossible! But it was very easy for our elders. And now I can see why - for them the meaning of love was different from what it is for us today.

For us Love is a four-letter word. A guy proposes - if he is rich and working abroad in a reputed company he's accepted, else ek nahin toh doosra hi sahi. Today, even small kids in first standard speak about love and crushes! But of course, it's not their fault, it's the changing environment around them that is to blame.

But love is a lot more than that. Love towards our elders shows our care and respect for them. Love towards our partner is a proof of how trustworthy we are, how caring, how faithful we are. Love towards children is about how responsible we are in building their character.

Jesus also preached love and practiced the same. Love is a medicine for any pain. It gives a person new reason to live and a new way to start his life. Instead, if we boil up his burns we prove to ourselves that we do not deserve even God's love.

Every person makes mistakes and there is no one on this earth who has not committed mistakes. God forgives our mistakes even if we don't forgive those of others. God still loves us and gives us what is right for us, still we do not love Him. We love God only when we get what we want. But otherwise we don't even bother to look at the many wonders He has created around us. Imagine if one day you fight with your neighbour who is really innocent and God gets angry on you and he doesnt allow the sun to rise - what would you do? We feel guilty when we hurt our loved ones when they shower so much of love on us. We just have to say a "sorry" and express our love for them and that makes them forgive our mistakes.

Today we see marriages getting annulled within a matter of days. And love marriages break up even sooner! Why does it happen? Does it mean love fades away after marriage? No, it happens when you have to bend for each other and make your ego vanish. It's very hard to accept the fact that we have to ADJUST once we get new relations. We try to find our own happiness, which makes us selfish and here starts the division when the virus called "ME" enters into the brain, blocking the loving heart and sharpening the materialistic mind - where money becomes the first priority instead of love, where 'I' comes first and then 'we', where 'my' needs count before 'yours.'

Many a time, sour minds mistake lust to be love. Love doesn't have conditions - it is a free bird able to fly anywhere. Love is held by trust, sacrifice and care. Love and trust go hand in hand and if the bond breaks there is no Fevicol to join it as there comes the VIRUS then! Today love has become a fashion where a guy has a crush on a girl and then if the girl doesn't show interest the guy commits suicide. Why? Don't your parents love u? Don't your friends love u?

Recently an incident took place near my place. The couple was going steady and then all of a sudden there were some misunderstandings because of which the girl ignored the guy. Crushed by her indifference, the man without even wasting a moment jumped onto the road and within no time was hit by a vehicle, resulting in his instant death. The parents had to bury the dead body of their son who they looked after for years together, loved him so much and educated him. It was a very sad moment for the parents, who reside elsewhere, to come and take their dead son back home.

This accident shook me from the inside and made me realize that the young generation is taking the wrong path to fulfil its desires. It's not always that parents don't guide their chidren but many a time we become stubborn and hurt them. We feel ashamed to introduce our poor parents to our colleagues but we forget that it's because of them that we are here today, sitting inside AC rooms and earning and progressing. But parents still bless us because they never get hurt by their kids, no matter how mature their kids be!

Today we have become so selfish that we don't care about hurting our parents. We have our food daily - but how many of us say thanks to mom and give her a hug as a sign of love? Instead we curse the food saying it's not delicious or not of our choice. We are not satisfied with dad's car - we want a new car, a new bike so that we can show it off to our friends! We don't want to see dad's efforts behind it but we want to be posh in front of others!

We want to depend on our parents and show our love to them only when we need them. We say it was their duty to love and educate us but what about our duty? Today they crave for two words of love from their children. Can't we give them the love they need? Or are we busy fufilling our dreams because they have grown older today and can't help us out in our needs? How they loved us even when we made them leave functions by crying loudly or made them wake up from their sleep just because we were not sleepy!

Today love has no place in our lives because talking with loved ones has nothing to do with our progress but we always have time for people who can help us get more money! There are still some people who love their parents - the reason being the treasure they will be leaving behind! I have seen people fighting for money after their parents departed from this world. It becomes so difficult to love people without any condition. Why are we like this? The same thing will be followed by our kids when they grow up because they have seen us fighting over money but not seen us pouring love on each other.

The other day my mom was saying, luckily there is no commission or payment to be made to reserve a seat in heaven or else people would have eaten up each other for money to get the highest position in heaven! It's so true today - man is craving for true love. Even a rich person today craves for a faithful wife, a faithful family so that he can be happy. There are retreats everywhere these days to make people understand the importance of filial love and togthernes. Do we really need retreats today? Are we that weak that we need to go around the world to understand the meaning of love?

Let us be kind to our parents from today, pick up our mobiles and call them and thank them for all that they have done for us all these years. Let us promise to love them to the end of our lives and take all their troubles as ours. It will bring a smile on their faces and you are sure to get blessings in return and that's what counts in life. The more blessings you get the more successful you become.

I will end with a small story here:

A couple had an only son who they loved a lot. One day he got an offer to go abroad on work. The parents, though sad, saw his happy face and agreed. Later they came to know their son had fallen in love with a girl over there and they were invited for the wedding. They could not bear this insult but because they loved their son they decided to go for the wedding.

The parents came back home and over time the son lost contact with his parents as he was very busy fulfilling his dreams and had a wife whom he loved, and so had no time for parents.

There came a time when his wife was in delivery and she was in much pain. He was allowed to enter the labour room and be with his wife. He consoled his wife and remained with her in her difficult time. Here he remembered something and after the delivery instead of looking at his child he ran to the telephone booth and made a call.

His mom answered and was delighted to hear his voice. He said, "Mom, I am sorry, today I understand how painful it was for you to deliver me and I could not be a good son. I forgot all your pains and love for me! I feel guilty today. I am sorry. I want to come back to you, be your child and love you." Tears rolled down her eyes and in a soft voice she said, "Come back child, I have always been waiting for this day. I still love you the same."

It's better late than never. Let us make our elders realize we love them and not ill treat them. God cannot be present everywhere to help us out so he created parents to love us, care for us and be with us always.

There is no meaning in praying or donating to ashrams after hurting elders at home and making them feel lonely even in crowds. Let us not make them feel they are alone because it's our duty to love them, care for them. After all, they are worth it!


Gracy Menezes - Archives:

By Gracy Menezes, Bangalore
To submit your article / poem / short story to Daijiworld, please email it to mentioning 'Article/poem submission for daijiworld' in the subject line. Please note the following:

  • The article / poem / short story should be original and previously unpublished in other websites except in the personal blog of the author. We will cross-check the originality of the article, and if found to be copied from another source in whole or in parts without appropriate acknowledgment, the submission will be rejected.
  • The author of the poem / article / short story should include a brief self-introduction limited to 500 characters and his/her recent picture (optional). Pictures relevant to the article may also be sent (optional), provided they are not bound by copyright. Travelogues should be sent along with relevant pictures not sourced from the Internet. Travelogues without relevant pictures will be rejected.
  • In case of a short story / article, the write-up should be at least one-and-a-half pages in word document in Times New Roman font 12 (or, about 700-800 words). Contributors are requested to keep their write-ups limited to a maximum of four pages. Longer write-ups may be sent in parts to publish in installments. Each installment should be sent within a week of the previous installment. A single poem sent for publication should be at least 3/4th of a page in length. Multiple short poems may be submitted for single publication.
  • All submissions should be in Microsoft Word format or text file. Pictures should not be larger than 1000 pixels in width, and of good resolution. Pictures should be attached separately in the mail and may be numbered if the author wants them to be placed in order.
  • Submission of the article / poem / short story does not automatically entail that it would be published. Daijiworld editors will examine each submission and decide on its acceptance/rejection purely based on merit.
  • Daijiworld reserves the right to edit the submission if necessary for grammar and spelling, without compromising on the author's tone and message.
  • Daijiworld reserves the right to reject submissions without prior notice. Mails/calls on the status of the submission will not be entertained. Contributors are requested to be patient.
  • The article / poem / short story should not be targeted directly or indirectly at any individual/group/community. Daijiworld will not assume responsibility for factual errors in the submission.
  • Once accepted, the article / poem / short story will be published as and when we have space. Publication may take up to four weeks from the date of submission of the write-up, depending on the number of submissions we receive. No author will be published twice in succession or twice within a fortnight.
  • Time-bound articles (example, on Mother's Day) should be sent at least a week in advance. Please specify the occasion as well as the date on which you would like it published while sending the write-up.

Comment on this article

  • Shaleem, Australia

    Mon, Feb 07 2011

    Marvelous work ... God bless you and all of you who were keen to read this article and take in to implement in your lives.

  • neha thakuri, 22 shamsul huda road kolkata 7oo o17

    Mon, Feb 07 2011

    I think that only god has been able to love us.We as human beings will actually take it very difficult to love someone.human beings are only able to use this word love but they don't mean it.

  • Maxwell Dsouza, Urwa/OMan

    Sun, Dec 05 2010

    Hi,Good article but one sided.Topic is very nice.Content is only supporting old generation.

    But I feel younger generation is better.Just comapre olden days mother in laws and todays mother in laws.TOdays mother in laws are more supportive or may be less blaming to their daughter in laws than before.
    Todays in-laws mentality is much better than olden days inlaws.

    In olden days women had no any right.But now every man and women have equal rights.
    In olden days people used to interfere in each others matters without any relation.But now people keep distance even within neighbourhood.In olden days husbands used to drink and fight with wives.Now it is changed.
    Olden days people were very dependent on each one.Now people are very independent.They dont gossip much on others matters unless required.
    Nowadays parents are also not dependent on kids

  • Vivek, Puttur/Australia

    Sun, Dec 05 2010

    Hi Gracy,You cannot take care/give attention only to ur parents once u r married.You will have to take care of your spouse and children also.Now a days most of the marriages happen through internet.You cannot tell that it is bad as you have to stick to olden days marriages.As time changes and education increases our mentally also needs to be changed.Once thing is true,we should take care of our parents when they need us.

  • Arun, Mlore/Dubai

    Sat, Dec 04 2010

    Hi gracy,
    These comments were not to dissapoint nor discourage you from writing articles. comments are just views of the readers towards the article. just take it positive. the best article is the one with more comments. that means many people have read your article and they felt something within themselves and so they commented. there are many articles, people just read and and forget it. i know u very well from younger age. just keep on writing articles which can make people think and be inspired. all the best.. expecting many more beautiful articles from you my dear. god bless u.

  • radha, mangalore

    Wed, Dec 01 2010

    Love towards oneself which is selfish love
    Love for other people which is a little selfish
    Love towards God - no selfishness involved here

    Gracy - come on .. you sound like an evengelist. In my opinion, we all believe that we are a part of the whole, which does not matter what you call that whole. So loving oneself is akin to loving the whole isn't it?. From the above three lines you have seperated us from others and GOD. There is a clear demarcation, which I do not believe in. In my dharma, there is no difference in him and I and I cannot be without him, nor him without I.

    I also do not understand the point here " Later they came to know their son had fallen in love with a girl over there and they were invited for the wedding. They could not bear this insult but because they loved their son they decided to go for the wedding. "

    What is the cause for insult.?. Are you against love marriage?. I think this boy was well broughtup and independent. He controlled his own destiny. Is this bad ?. There are a lot of us who live abroad and meet our parents once or twice a year is this bad ?. Opportunities do not occur on our door step you see, sometimes we have to go out to survive.

    I also know god fearing individuals being totally corrupt and terrible at home, but I would not write an article stating that everyone who is god fearing is a cheat ...

  • Vaibhav, Goa,Dubai

    Wed, Dec 01 2010

    How nicely it is put in words, it really inspired me to give more time for love towards God & I believe your writing will also inspire others to bring true happiness in there life, God bless you with more love & knowledge.

  • Fr.Vincent Coelho, Bambil,Bantwal

    Wed, Dec 01 2010

    Your ariticle is thought-provoking,practical whic will surely enlihten young people like you.Congratulations and continue your good work.May God Bless You.

  • Gracy, Bangalore

    Wed, Dec 01 2010

    Hi All,
    Thanks for the comments. I have nowhere mentioned that young generation is victim.It only says we have to give time to our parents. Todays parents may be working but they work so that they can carry the expenses of their children.Older generation time,things werent that costly as they are now.Today if we consider the expenses they are sky touching heights! And ya there are no blames on gals or guys.Parents always try for the best of their kids.Sometimes its their selfishness that they impose conditions,where as they shud create a environment of love n understanding at home.We also have examples where kids are pampered with love and then they are spoilt even then they go outside for their here are the parents to be blamed for pampering?This article is based on both the sides. its only to throw a light on the love understanding today people have a mind set off.Sacrifice is also form of love.Hatred can be solved by love if v stay far saying parents dint love us we shudnt either that can never change the condition.Instead turn to them say never mind if u dint we will love u.We wont be smaller we will surely able to change such parents who avoid pouring love adn pour only comforts.And marriages are made in heaven either love or arranged there is no blame as it is based on trust and care for each other.
    Thank you....

  • Vinod Menezes, udupi/Kuwait

    Wed, Dec 01 2010

    Hi Gracy,we need to think all the angles of a situation.In Olden days moms never used to study more or go to work.But now situation is changed.SO we cannot always stick to olden times.I agree with rani
    that we needs change in attitude to look at all the good things that this generation does from their point of view.Todays people thinking is much better than old peoples as they know how to deal with others well.

  • vasanth, mangalore

    Wed, Dec 01 2010

    Thank u

    Ur article says the meaning of love

  • Anil Rego, Mlore/Doha

    Wed, Dec 01 2010

    Dont blame the new generation,as there are pros and cons with all the generations.In matter of understandings new generation is far better than the old one.Whether,wife,mother or father or child each one has their own place in our lives.

  • Arun Joy, Mlore/Dubai

    Tue, Nov 30 2010

    Love is mutual, it should come from both the ends then only it will last forever. All children love their parents and know their pain in upbringing a child. But children not only require money and education, mainly they need love from their parents at young age and there should be a close relation between parents and children. This can only be possible if parents try to be close to their children at younger age. Or else the children always will be scared of their parents, they cant share their problems with their parents and that is the reason they grow stubborn and cant express their love towards their parents even if they love them. Its not only children to be blamed always." Good tree always gives good fruits and bad tree will give bad fruits". If there is no good relation between parents and children then there must be a reason behind that and we should try to find that reason instead of blaming someone. Nowadays parents dont have time to sit with their children and the children love their housemaids more than their parents. what is the duty of a parent? what will that child become when he grows? Is the child to be blamed? In this world all are unique and all have their own thinking and feelings. So we need to see in all the angles and not only in an angle which we like to see.

  • rohith martis, mani, m'lore-b'lore

    Tue, Nov 30 2010

    Ms,Gracy... this is very nice article from you.... hats of thanks to u for sharing your lovely words here....

  • Francis tauro, Kuwait

    Tue, Nov 30 2010

    really very nice heart touching
    article. God bless you, keep it up.

  • Rani, Udupi/UK

    Tue, Nov 30 2010

    Nicely laid out article but I actually didnt find any new information. Infact there are quite a few sweeping statements such as 'love marriages break up even sooner'. Where is the proof! Which type of marriage is better is always debatable so please dont make assumptions when mass is reading the articles. Most of the article covers love towards your parents n grand parents, I dont think there is any fault in loving your spouse and children too!!! Love is not always a fashion, why do you think people fall in love? It mainly happens when they dont get enough love n attention at home. Ignoring parents is actually a learnt behaviour. Their parents may have done the same thing without realising it at the time. So just dont blame the new generation, I know so many people looking after their parents even though in reality their parents had ignored the previous generation. So please give two sides of a story. World is not so bad!! It just needs change in attitude to look at all the good things that this generation does from their point of view.

  • sachin, mangalore/dubai

    Tue, Nov 30 2010

    excellent..let the present generation boys as well as specially girls should read a days they wont read this.IF any article comes from love stories in bollywood they will read it with full concentration.GOD BLESS YOU

  • Clodi Suvaris, Mangalore, Bajpe

    Mon, Nov 29 2010

    Really Really Really Great Article. Really There is a "True Meaning of Love". Many of people doesn't know the real meaning of "LOVE" , This article is very useful.

  • Viola Rodrigues, Mlore/Blore

    Mon, Nov 29 2010

    Very nice article Gracy

  • Jancil , Mlore/Blore

    Mon, Nov 29 2010

    Nice to see your second article Gracy!
    Well written. Congrats. :)

  • ivor dsouza, mangalore

    Mon, Nov 29 2010

    i would like to start with this beautiful passage from the bible Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. i am presently living in the united kingdom, It looks like from this article we in india are making the same mistakes. As people become more independent the material wants are more, when we were created the man of the house had to go and look for the food and feed his famiily, as more women started to work they becam more independent which in turn has led to less of tolerance on both of the partners. the answer is in the passage.

    We yet strive for love in this morden world whar ever actions we do to our partners or children have to be well rehersed and the consequences to be understood. The fear of God is the primary thing otherwise love has no meaning. love is a constant process till death. Grace keep up the good work we as Indians should lead by example.

  • Raj, udupi/Australia

    Mon, Nov 29 2010

    nice article indeed,today what we are because of our beloved parents.who are pearls.. i too agree with sunil's comments..some wives are opposing to atke care of parents becuase they don't know about family values...when they become older their beloved once will make them undertsand.

  • Sajid, Mangalore/Saudi Arabia

    Mon, Nov 29 2010

    Dear Gracy,
    I admire and appreciate the work you have put forth the people of this world..nowadays most of the guys or gals think that LOVE means to have a boyfren/galfren.Bt the true love is when you are able to find happiness in others happiness. Daijiworld, thanks for publishing such a beautiful article.

  • Rajesh D'Souza, Mukamar

    Mon, Nov 29 2010

    A very good artice. Appreciating...
    May God bless you

  • lavia, usa

    Sun, Nov 28 2010

    Its a lovely and very meaningful article..I truely admired.............

  • vidit, qatar

    Sun, Nov 28 2010

    Good article,sunil comments are fine but he didnt add some masala to that. matha pitha DEVOBHAVA UNTIL U STUDY AND GET A JOB. THEN CLUB IS DEVOBHAVA AND COMES BIBI, FINALY OLD AGE HOME IS DEVOBHAVA

  • Imran Kaup, Dubai

    Sun, Nov 28 2010

    Not applicable on all time !!

  • A.S.Mathew, U.S.A.

    Sun, Nov 28 2010

    Good article which can open greater
    discussion and imput.

    Love, wealth, peace, blessings etc
    are some of the vocabularies with
    divergent meaning for different

    A street pimp prey on a run-away
    and helpless girl with a sweet
    promise of love " honey, I love you and will take care of you". After
    a few days, that innocent girl
    will be pushed to the flesh trade.

    On the other hand, another person
    with the genuine love told her
    "honey, I love you" and took care
    of her and made arrangement to
    send her back to her family.

    People with genuine love are
    selfless, and they put the need
    of others above their own needs
    in pleasure, money, time etc.

    In real love, there is no fear.
    We will give our life facing the
    roaring line to save our children,
    if we are truly loving parents.

    Here is the real love.
    In CNN, I saw a dozen heros, one from Madhura in Tamil Nadu the
    other one from Neapal who rescued
    12000 girls from flesh trade.
    The person from Tamil Nadu, left
    is high paying job in Europe, and started feeding the destitutes,
    400 every day.
    One day, it will be my honour to
    touch their feet.

    From my experience in life, around
    10% of the people are selfless and
    truly loving. Many people will
    exploit us through the route of
    blood relationship, religion and
    friendship, but they all put a fake
    signboard of " LOVE".

    How many friends and relatives
    will be with us when we are faced
    with tragedy? count the real love!

  • Antony T. D' Souza, Karkala / Qatar

    Sun, Nov 28 2010

    Lovely article. Thanks Gracy for insight. Seems Sunil is right in his observation talks about sense of reality partly. By nature, everydoy is wishing their old aged parents a better cared home. However, we all see some kind of selfishness whether in our sons or their sons, our daughters or their daughters, our family or their family…in a nut shell majority of them all are same and crowded orphanages are standing tall as a mockery to our earnest desires.
    In one word, Love, is something generates within us and fails to re-generate when other party is mostly required of it. Hence Love is bound to lose somewhere or with somebody. Hence, hubby/chubby mama/papa, all in-laws, our bros sis or their bros sis, grandpa/grandma all are angry while failing to experience more of sincere, unfailing, true love that requires very badly but never shines till sun goes down.

  • M.Lewis., Mumbai /Kuwait.

    Sun, Nov 28 2010

    Very good article & Touching message and meaningful Wish all understand what love is about care for eachother. May Godbless you.

  • Jasmine Sequeira, Mumbai/Mangalore/Qatar.

    Sun, Nov 28 2010

    Touching Article, very well written. Sunil Kumar you have got the message wrong. Parents are parents for both sons and daughters. Please don't blame the wives if you are not good sons, and sisters please don't blame your brother's wives if you are not good daughters. The reward for being kind to aged parents cannot be measured, it is humongous.

  • Sunil Kumar, Karkala / Qatar

    Sun, Nov 28 2010

    Very good article & touching message. Matha Pitha DEVOBHAVA, until you get married. For many people after marriage 'BIWI' DEVOBHAVA'. Many ashram's are existing because of wives and NRE Funds. I have come across many whose wives are opposing to take care of husbands parents.

  • Clarence Arun, Mangalore/KSA

    Sun, Nov 28 2010

    Good article...

  • Laveena, kul/dubai

    Sun, Nov 28 2010

    Very nice article Gracy. how true todays world is changing.

  • Arun Joy, Mlore/DUbai

    Sat, Nov 27 2010

    Hi gracy,
    It was a very good and meaningful article. Wish all the people understand this. May god bless you and give u the spirit to write many more good articles.

  • a.naik, mangalore

    Sat, Nov 27 2010

    matha pithah DEVOBHAVA..A true old saying

Leave a Comment

Title: The True Meaning of Love

You have 2000 characters left.


Please write your correct name and email address. Kindly do not post any personal, abusive, defamatory, infringing, obscene, indecent, discriminatory or unlawful or similar comments. will not be responsible for any defamatory message posted under this article.

Please note that sending false messages to insult, defame, intimidate, mislead or deceive people or to intentionally cause public disorder is punishable under law. It is obligatory on Daijiworld to provide the IP address and other details of senders of such comments, to the authority concerned upon request.

Hence, sending offensive comments using daijiworld will be purely at your own risk, and in no way will be held responsible.