Sibling Bond - it's all About Love, Fights and Secrets

Aug 24, 2010

Sibling rivalry, words and fights
Whatever happens, we’ll always remain
Brothers and sisters in sunshine and rain
Singing and laughter, enemies and friends,
Secrets shared, but kept away from mum and dad
To strengthen our bond, and make us strong
Nothing else matters, no world outside
We are together in our little world safe and sound
Just brothers and sisters always around


Brother-sister relationships are complex. Love, competition, friendship, and jealousy all overlay each other to create complex emotional reactions to family issues and situations.

How much influence do our childhood relationships with our siblings have on our adult life? Much of our adult emotional and social influence is largely attributed to the sibling relationship. While parents teach us the proper way to behave socially, siblings teach us how to get along with friends and peers. A parent’s responsibility consists of teaching children skills like table manners, respect for authority and acting appropriately in public. A sibling, however, acts more like a mentor in the realm of socialization.

The youngest Almeida of my family, my sister was kicked from heaven two and a half years after I landed from hell. Never knew that she would be the person whom I could turn to in happiness or in distress. Being the oldest child in our family, I was usually the one that had to listen to all the parenting advice before my sister was old enough to take a stand. Although our relationship has been through a lot of ups and downs, now that we both technically belong to the adult group of the family, I consider her to be one of the most caring and smart individuals I know - and irreplaceable in my life.

I catch myself often traveling back in time and remembering with nostalgia those instances when we felt compelled to fight over a toy or food. I smile when I recall those nights when I used to run to my sister’s bedroom as my mother entered her room in order to begin narrating her favorite story. Like most families, our family 'ritual' was to listen to fairytales before going to bed - my mother was always ready to repeat the story of the righteous young man and his successful fight against the misunderstood monster that frightened the inhabitants of an imaginary village. When mom was busy with house work, our dad would be the replacement Story-Teller. His stories always had a lion and a tiger and my sister would switch back to mom’s story – on demand.

Being born and bought up in a cosmopolitan society, we celebrated all festivals including Raksha Bandhan. My sister would tie me a rakhee and in return I would run down to the local grocery shop and buy her a chocolate which would be eventually shared between the two of us.

Although she was two years younger to my batch, she knew all the poems, lessons, and studies that were in my syllabus. The reason being that when mom made me study, hardly anything entered my brain, but my sister on the other hand, used to memorize all that stuff and would prompt me the answers when dad took my revision.

This year Raksha Bandhan falls on August 24.

On a lighter note, this occasion is good for guys at home as it’s a special day to spend with their sisters but when it comes to college, it is one of the worst. The absenteeism ratio for guys in college is highest on this day of the year. Needless to say why.

To wrap it all up, the relationship between brother and sister is like pure nectar and will have the same sweetness as long as the universe is.


Robin Almeida - Archives:

by Robin Dyson Almeida
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Comment on this article

  • Candida, Mumbai/Dubai

    Wed, Sep 15 2010

    Fantastic read! Reminds me of childhood days with two naughty brothers :-)The worst I remember "whose side are you on?' when they used to fight!!! Keep up the good work.

  • Niveditha d'souza, kulshekar

    Thu, Aug 26 2010

    Good article,really siblings relationship is very precious...........

  • Fiona, Udupi/Abu Dhabi

    Thu, Aug 26 2010

    very well said...good work :-)

  • Bulsam, Mangalore

    Wed, Aug 25 2010

    The relation between the siblings is unique. During school years they are companions as well as rival in the race for supremacy. They will try to influence their parents to take their side and sometime the parents fall for it. When the siblings turn adult they get influenced by their spouses and become closer to the co-brothers & sister-in-laws than their own brother's wives. During the property sharing the eldest get a better grip and take advantage of the situation whereas the youngest suffer the most. At the same time, during struggling period, the eldest act like a father figure, take the situation into control and protect the weaker sibling. Here again there are different degree of variation as per the selfish nature of each individual sibling, the circumstances the situations etc.
    Overall the older one are more timid and the younger, more vibrant and loved one and at the same time the eldest get the most benefits like personal respect, recognition, privileges, advantage over decision making, property shares etc. where as the youngest ones genuine questionings are ignored.
    Finally it is the survival of the fittest. More emotional sibling will get carried away and don’t become demanding whereas the lesser emotional one takes full advantage and grab the situation. Whatever may be the differences, but during one’s crisis their blood bonding acts and extends the helping hand which is a unique feature among the siblings. In extreme situation they are in for the kill.

  • Diana, USA\Mumbai

    Wed, Aug 25 2010

    Nice article must say. Well writen.

  • Smitha, Mangalore/ Dubai

    Wed, Aug 25 2010

    Indeed brother sister bond is very special. Days we spent with our siblings are cherished forever...

    Good Job!

  • Lavina Saldanha, Mumbai

    Wed, Aug 25 2010

    Hi Robin, Its so sweet of you to remember your sis in such beautiful words. May god bless you both siblings with this bond of love forever...Your article is really touching and god has really blessed u with the art of writing so well. Felt nostalgic.. C u in October...

  • nithan, Mangalore/Bangalore

    Tue, Aug 24 2010

    Very well written...

  • adshenoy, mangloor

    Tue, Aug 24 2010

    "Raksha Bhandan" is expression of love, belonging, protection and security bond between bro and sis. This is Indias tradition.

  • Fabeola, Dubai

    Tue, Aug 24 2010

    The article is lovely and the pictures are adorable!!.. Happy Raksha Bandhan

  • Suraj, Mangalore Dubai

    Tue, Aug 24 2010

    I envy only sis is far away from me today. Only memories and tears are what I have now.

  • Prema Monteiro, M'lore / Qatar

    Tue, Aug 24 2010

    Acclaim your work....very well written - Thanks. Felt very Nostalgic. It’s celestial blessing to love and to be loved. One for all and all for one! Memories of childhood are most treasured part of my life… bro’s are the best. And now seeing my children grow reminds me of our old good days. Thanks once again….the thoughts that I had in mind you have put it across in words.

  • shalini salian, mangalore

    Tue, Aug 24 2010

    very well presented article on the right day. reminded me of my childhood days when i and my elder brother used to go school together in bombay. it was in the 70's. our return bus ticket was 20 paise and my dad used to give me 25 paise daily. how much my bro used to fight with me just to get that extra 5 paise of mine just for him to buy comic books. those were the days. can never ever forget in my life. and the bonding goes on.

  • Mrs.Suman V. Uthappa, Mangalore/ Dubai

    Tue, Aug 24 2010

    Very nice and cute article.. And for girls it was greate fun during college days..

  • Reshma, Manglore/Sharjah

    Tue, Aug 24 2010

    Very well written, Robin....Reminds me of my good old days too...Although i dont have any brothers, only was a very well knitted bond that we had and frankly speaking I would like to give my credit to our mom who helped us stay united...Miss those days …

  • Joyer Kinnigoli,

    Mon, Aug 23 2010

    Sweet. It reminded me my childhood

  • Anand, Karkala/Dubai

    Mon, Aug 23 2010

    Exactly dear Almeida, I was waiting eagerly for something which I have in mind to come out from your pen. This is the God gifted art of presentation to you I believe. Keep it up.

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