Mar 31, 2010

There are love stories and there are unusual love stories. These days there is a heated debate going on,  on premarital sex, extramarital  sex and live in relationships, marriage etc.,  Recently I came across this newspaper story with the headline ‘couple for 74 years die within 3 days of each other’. As they say picture speaks better than words and the photograph of the couple Ted and Mary Williams holding hands  caught my attention. 74 years spent together as husband and wife was even difficult to digest leave alone living them.  There is more to the love story of this couple from London.  They were both admitted to different hospitals for different age related ailments.  Being alone in the hospital Mary did the best thing of writing a love letter to her husband asking him to see her.  Ted responded with equal alacrity and was then transferred to Mary’s ward and he spent the final hours holding the hands of his beloved wife and she died three hours after Ted had arrived blissfully holding the hands of Ted during her final journey.  Three days later Ted breathed his last.  It was the classic case of “till death do us apart”, but with oodles of romantic elements.    

It was such a touching story, heart rending, so romantic and I felt I have not come across a more romantic incident than this in real life.  Even our masala movies both Hollywood and bollywood could not depict or match the intensity of the love of this couple in any of their movies.  It is said that Ted and Mary fell in love as teenagers and were inseparable for next 74 years, a feat that cannot bettered by anyone considering that we are living in a world of relationships of convenience. 

We are living in a world of everything instant.  We hear about instant live-in, quick marriages and instantaneous divorces and it is hard to believe this kind of unusual love story has unfurled to remind us that relationships can last longer and can be fruitful one.  There are examples galore especially in celebrity circles that marriage as an institution is slowly but steadily collapsing.  Remember pop singer Britney Spears marriage to her childhood sweetheart Jason Allen Alexander lasted just 55 hours. Bay watch boobs Babe Pamela Anderson has been divorced more times that the number of years she has spent together in matrimony with different partners.  There are numerous instances of similar kind but celebrities always grab eyeballs and make news as compared to ordinary mortals. 

The love story of Ted and Mary should be an eye opener to modern day couples especially in our country as marriage as an institution is crumbling and trends indicate that there has been a significant rise in divorce rates in India.    No denying the fact that in our own country there might be many instances of couples spending a major part of their lives as couples (thanks to the prevalence of child marriages. Incidentally considering that Ted and Mary were 90 and 87 years old respectively when they died theirs too is a child marriage). What sets this couple apart from the other contenders is the intensity of their love that bonded well with the passage of time unlike the Seven Year Itch many marriages suffer from these days. (Remember the movie by the same name immortalized by Sex Diva Merlyn Monore and her famous red frock?)  Now of course from seven years it has come down to 7 months and even to 7 days and who knows what next?      

This is very much evident from the fact that divorce rates in India are increasing at an alarming rate.  With the favourable court judgement with regard to Section 377 and Supreme Court’s recent remarks on live-in-relationships there is certainly a paradigm shift in people’s attitude towards relationships and the institution of marriage.  Divorce rates are higher in love marriages as compared to arranged marriages which again is a subject for separate discussion. 

While there is no successful formula for a successful marriage the most important ingredient for the successful marriage life is complete trust in each other. Without trust and faith in marriage there would be so much insecure behavior floating around such as, distrust, doubt, suspicions, lying, jealousy & possessiveness.  The foundation for a successful marriage lay in the willingness of the couple to respect each other, accept each other’s follies,  follow an open door policy of communication and of course in showing lots of love and affection.  It is love and love alone which can negate the negative factors and help move on as companions for life. 

It pays well for couples to remember that no human being is perfect.  Conflicts and differences of opinion in fact add spice to an otherwise mundane relationship.  But those conflicts should not become too often or cross the danger line.  Very often inflated egos prove to be the undoing in a relationship.  Couple will do well to remember that egoistic attitude will spell doom for a marriage or relationship if it is to last for life long.   There are many marriages which border on relationship of convenience, which many feel is better than the bitter divorce.  

The saga of love story of Ted and Mary will certainly be an inspiration to all those who believe in relationships based on love, respect, understanding and mutual admiration.