Mangalore, March 3, 2010
Marriage is one of the most inevitable aspects of life. It provides a person an opportunity for a secure and protected satisfaction of his need for companionship, affection and sexual expression.
Although scientific achievements have provided human beings with all kinds of amenities they have not changed at the basic level. The human instincts such as joy, jealousy, love, hate, fear and pride have not changed over the centuries. The people still need stable family environment to lead a content life.
It is said that ‘Marriages are made in heaven, so are thunder and lightning’. The number of divorce rates these days is quite alarming. The sacred institution of marriage is under a great stress in the present society. High divorce rates and the trend of living together have resulted in broken families and troubled children. Many married couples have struggled to maintain their relationship, which is no doubt, a big threat to the whole concept of marriage.
Even after marrying the person of their choice people tend to fail in their marriages. So the saying ‘they lived happily ever after’ is only restricted to movies and fairy tales. Marital discord has become one of the major causes of suicide these days.
Marriage is a life long commitment of love, respect and belongingness. It is important to get married, as the research shows that people who don't' get married at the right age or who don't marry at all suffer from a kind of emptiness that leads to frustrations.
Problems in marriage affect every aspect of your life. It's hard to concentrate at work, it's hard to act carefree around your children, and it's hard to put on a happy face with friends and relatives when you are unhappy and frustrated with your mate.
The very foundation of any marriage is love. It can be developed through mutual respect and trust. A husband and wife must always be completely faithful to each other. Many a times the spouses get too possessive. Every relationship has to have its own intimacy but at the same time allowance for a personal space is a must.
Relationship like marriage needs mainly ‘compatibility’ to stand the test of time. Ultimately it’s the quality of relationship shared by the couple which is more important. Not only the couple, but the other members of the two families also contribute to make the institution of marriage a success.
The successful marriages require support systems, common values and shared aspirations in addition to love and mutual understanding. Cultural uniformity plays a vital role in success of marriage. General observation show that the couples in a successful marriage belong to a similar cultural group. Recognition of mistakes by both the couple is a must. The couples often hesitate to accept their mistake and bring their ego in between thinking that by saying sorry the other partner will gain an upper hand. Just by simply acknowledging the mistake can solve fifty percent of conflicts. Most of the people who have a stable and successful marriage are very up-front in their relationship and never hesitate to say sorry. Forgiving and accepting apology leads to better understanding.
Economic condition is one of the major causes of strain in marriages at all income levels. Better economic conditions do not mean that only rich people can have a stable marriage. The people should spend only what they can afford. Some people at lower income level have much better marriages as compared to the rich and wealthy people. The key is to keep the expenses within limits for both partners.
The availability of support system too is a great contributor to stable marriages. It is a network of friends or relatives that can be relied upon in case of any misunderstanding. Both the partners can discuss the problem with their respective friends. Only by discussing or talking about the problem it can be put in a proper perspective.
Despite all the changes and process of modernization, the institution of marriage still retains a strong value in society. A large number of people get married even after a bitter divorce which indicates that there is something in the human psyche that propels people towards making a commitment through marriage. This fact was recognized long time ago and gradually the institution of marriage evolved over centuries. The challenge for our times is to keep the sacred relationship like marriage intact.
Performing the rituals of marriage may be simple and enjoyable but maintaining the true spirit of marriage is essential which calls for maturity, love and understanding on the part of couples. It is a bond which must last forever and ever… William Haunt rightly defines marriage as a “God-planned creation, individually patterned and woven together to bring happiness and warmth to mankind”.
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