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Gender bias: Who will protect the men from harassment?


Gender bias: Who will protect the men from harassment?

Florine Roche
Daijiworld Media Network - Mangalore

Aug 18: India being a country of contrasts, there is widening gulf between the rich and the poor. Apart from the poor-rich divide there is gender bias against female child and sexual assault, rape, domestic violence, dowry harassment and other acts of heinous barbarity perpetrated on women are increasing. While this is one side of the story there is another side to the coin. Just as there are a large number of hapless women who are killed or face torture by their in-laws there are evil minded women who harass their husbands and their families on false charges of dowry harassment, rape, mental torture and cruelty. Unfortunately many such complaints have proved to be false and are done with a malafide intention to wreck revenge or to extract easy money.
 
Taking cognizance of the alarming increase in such false cases the Mumbai High Court recently observed in the first week of this month (August) that women who file rape cases as an act of revenge or in a fit of anger and later withdraw the complaints should be prosecuted as such a trend has the potential to send wrong signals to the society. Due to this act of vengeance many innocent men, their family members including their aged parents have been at the receiving end as they are dragged into the court of law by their daughters-in-law and their families alleging dowry harassment under section 498 A, section 3 & 4 of the Dowry prohibition Act and section 406 of IPC which deals with breach of Trust.
 

Weapon of Retribution
 
It may be remembered that Justice Kailash Gambir of Delhi High Court had made this observation in March this year while passing an order on the rape complainant of Rani Bagh filed last year on her estranged lover Rohit Chauhan. He had observed that rape was used by women as a weapon for vengeance and vendetta to harass and blackmail their male friends and now the Mumbai High Court has come out with similar views. This really augurs well because many women have played havoc with the lives of men by misusing the law. Daijiworld's own photographer was recently made a victim of such misuse by some revenge-seeking jealous elements.
 
The recent observation of the Mumbai court has been welcomed by lawyers handling domestic and family disputes and other organizations of men which are fighting for a gender neutral society in our country. Lawyers believe that rape case will drop by as much as 70% if this ruling of the High Court is enforced. It means that this suggestion of the court should be treated with extreme gravitas.
 
Section 498A was actually aimed at providing protection for women against harassment from the husband, in-laws in respect to demands of dowry. It is a criminal law under which a woman and her parental family can charge the woman’s husband or members of his family including elderly parents and minor-aged siblings of physical or mental cruelty. Anyone charged with Section 498 A is liable to be arrested by the police without any initial investigation.
 
Similarly there are increasing incidents of penal provisions on rape being misused by women. As we know there are many celebrities who are caught up in the imbroglio of alleged rape and sexual harassment, not to mention about the ordinary citizens who are fighting the battle in the courts of law. In June this year former Miss World and actress Yukta Mookhey had lodged an FIR against her New York-based businessman prince Tuli for alleged domestic violence under section 498A (dowry harassment) and section 377 (unnatural sex) of IPC. She has also named her in-laws as accused in the dowry harassment case. A year back Yukta had filed a non-cognizable offense against Tuli.
 
Bollywood actor Shiny Ahuja was arrested in 2009 for allegedly raping his maid and was convicted. However during cross examination the complainant reversed her charges saying she slapped false charges against him at the behest of Ahuja’s domestic cook. She had also testified in court that she had seen his movies and had fallen in love with him. Ahuja was convicted based on police charge sheet though the court declared her hostile. The public prosecutor even said this complainant could be punished for perjury. It is another matter that the Maharashtra police did not press perjury charges against her. Mumbai High Court is to hear Shiny’s plea this month but it must be remembered that he has lost valuable years at the peak of his career.
 
Similarly noted film maker Madhur Bhandarkar who was accused of rape by actress Preeti Jain was absolved of rape charges filed against him after nine long years. Preeti had accused Madhur of raping her for six years with a promise of casting her in his films. Though Mumbai High Court had rejected his bail application the Supreme Court gave him a reprieve by quashing rape charges against him. But Preeti Jain who had complained got away without any punishment for wasting 9 years of government and court’s resources.
 

NRIs Easy Prey
 
Closer home, in Mangalore Sunita Lewis (name changed) had recently filed a complaint alleging mental torture and dowry harassment against her in-laws and husband Vinod (name changed) who is working in Dubai. While her in-laws have gained bail it is said that there is a possibility of her husband Vinod being arrested on his return on charges of neglect. There are too many loopholes in Sunita's complaint and one really wonders whether the complaint has any element of truth.
 
There are many NRI men whose lives have been shattered due to such complaints because once complaint is registered they are not able to leave the country. The fear of arrest and the notion among women that NRIs are easy to browbeat to part with money makes NRIs easy targets of such false complaints. Incidents of this nature are very common not only in Mangalore but also in the entire country says senior criminal lawyer Parameshwar Jois. Speaking to daijioworld.com he said “Mumbai High Court has rightly observed that penal provisions which are actually meant for protecting women are being misused by some women. In fact, the law is misused by those who have political connections and in instances when the party is financially stronger”, Jois pointed out.
 
The Delhi High Court had clearly observed that women who have consensual physical relationship with a man file complaints when the relationship breaks down and use the law as a weapon and personal vendetta to extort money and sometimes even to get married to them. Parameshwar Jois points out “though the penal provisions are meant to protect women who really face harassments and even threat to their lives, it is misused by a few women who are rich, powerful but greedy, as an instrument of wrecking vengeance. It is unfortunate that such cases are on the rise”.
 

Legal Terrorism
 
It is said women misuse these provisions for many reasons such as speedy divorce and settlement of alimony, financial greed, easy way to dissolve marriage or desire to take revenge and clash of egos. The lengthy trials of cases booked under section 498A can go beyond seven years and may compel many families to agree to extortion, blackmail or for hefty out of court settlements. There are instances of men and their old parents committing suicide unable to live with the ignominy of going to jail, even if it is only for a day.
 
In a recent incident Shanthi Kapoor of Mumbai, a widow, a victim of partition, who had singlehandedly, raised her son with great difficulty and had to spend an entire weekend in jail on the basis of a complaint filed by her daughter-in-law Kamna Kapoor.
 
Men like R P Chug of Delhi and Arun Murthy of Bangalore have established forums to help harassed husbands and their parents. Arun Murthy’s Sangyabalya, a registered NGO is dedicated to help men and their families caught in similar situations and it is said that Sangyabalya gets number of NRI callers seeking succor.
 
The abuse of section 498A which was to provide protection for who actually need it is exploited by a few avarice females casting a shadow on its proper use. The Supreme Court while upholding the law as constitutional had termed the misuse as “legal terrorism”. Therefore, the need of the hour is to tighten the provisions of the law and punish women who exploit it for their avaricious designs. Increasing incidents of false cases make a mockery of the institution of marriage and our legal system. It also sends wrong signals to others who believe that they can abuse the law and get away with it with impunity.


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Comment on this article

  • Vikas Arora, kota

    Fri, May 1 2015

    I and my wife are facing understanding issues since last 5 years after our marriage.She is also having discomfort with my family members.
    I am in a doubt that if the things turn worst she will misuse women rights and file false case of dowry or cruelty against me and my parents.
    There is no dowry and physical violence in our matter.
    Should i inform the police about this matter so that the same can be investigated so that i and my parents can be safe if she files false complaint against us.
    I just need the prevention solutions wherein i can inform the same to the police or administration so that the same can be investigated by them if required.
    Please Advise what should i do.

    DisAgree [3] Agree [15] Reply Report Abuse

  • k.prathyusha, duggirala, tenali , guntur district

    Sun, Feb 22 2015

    Good day to all.....!!!!!
    Hai my name is prathyusha. Now I am telling about a true story of my brothers life.well my brother is studying mechanical 2nd year in rajmundry geit college. When he was in 10th standard he fell in love with a girl tat relationship continued till now. Present the problem is that girl is not good at character like she has many affairs
    Me and my parents suggested him that is not good but still he is not listening us instead he is willing to be with them. And that girl is not having father reason her mother is a call girl type and she a part of if bad family background. They are saying my to work in house like bringing water etc and even beating him, making my brother to sit near their legs etc.
    Now the problem is how we have to get my brother out of those difficulties.

    DisAgree [4] Agree [12] Reply Report Abuse

  • Amit Sharma, Rani Bagh

    Mon, Feb 2 2015

    My wife called police first time, when me and my family was out of home to put pressure the second property to her name, 2nd time2 days before Diwali before two years. Went to her parents for a week with our daughter then didn't come back. My daughter left his english medium school and now reading in a low school. Then she went to Women cell to pressureise us. I got a major accident. She temporarily close the women cell's file. now we are hearing a case on COURT and Women cell. She is demanding lot of money and threatening me with the help of Sub-Inspector. She even didn't come for dates and IO is calling me on each date and abusing me. Case is still going in Court. Please advice something.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [11] Reply Report Abuse

  • pratap, delhi

    Mon, Oct 20 2014

    dear brother
    mybrother inlawmake somany prob n my life whenever my wife goes mayka hs brother make stop on her she cant back come and my brother inlaw is NRI

    which type of case i can fire on himm

    when he come india

    DisAgree [4] Agree [5] Reply Report Abuse

  • Vikugha achumi, Dimapur

    Sat, Aug 9 2014

    My wife left on her own leaving us and i agreed to let her visit the kids or take them out sometimes since she requested and i did so. After 2 months she accused me of forcing her out and of domestic violence for a fight thai happened 4 years ago which occured due to her affairs even after repeated warning. Now that since her lawyer and the judge are women i can't imagine what o going to face.

    DisAgree [4] Agree [9] Reply Report Abuse

  • Vishal Varma, mumbai

    Mon, Mar 3 2014

    I am really glad I read this article, but my question is there really a way to get to women misusing these laws , I am going through my divorce a d would like to call the ngo who can help me pls advise

    I need the contact no whom do I contact and where

    pls mail me the no asap

    shall be awaiting eagerly

    regards

    Vishal Varma
    varmainternational@gmail.com

    DisAgree [5] Agree [11] Reply Report Abuse

  • shankar, bangalore

    Thu, Aug 22 2013

    This is what happens when a govt passes a law without proper research of its implications.

    Our govt never acts, it only reacts to the situations & comes up with such half-baked legislation to quieten the protests.

    The same scenario (gross misuse) will happen with all the laws that this stupid govt has enacted.

    DisAgree [6] Agree [25] Reply Report Abuse

  • Fredrick Castelino, Udyavara

    Wed, Aug 21 2013

    The article is very good. Atleast now somebody has come to know their grievances of men against their husbands. The condition of such husbands is very pity. But what to do? Governments should interfere on this issue.

    DisAgree [6] Agree [17] Reply Report Abuse

  • Eulalia D'Souza, Bijai / Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 19 2013

    Good article Florine and it is surely true. I myself am aware of this issue in a couple of families where wife files a divorce or a case against the husband for no fault of his. It is plainly to seek revenge or monetary benefits from husband. Court of Law at times is softer towards women than men, so cases generally tend to conclude favouring women than men.
    This is victimizing men in general. It is unfortunate and it is high time that a deep thought be given to this issue.
    Old saying " a Woman can make a house or break a house." is very much true. Either she is a ' Durga Devi' for the family or she could be ' Kali Devi ' .
    When women fight for equal rights, let the law of the court also treat these cases in an equal and just manner. A strong message has to go in society that women can not exploit men or system to benefit from it.

    DisAgree [5] Agree [34] Reply Report Abuse

  • Joe Mascarenhas, Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 19 2013

    Mr Pereira what you wrote is good, but what are you? A ex Navy captain? or you are working for some shipping company after retirement? or in your old daiji comments - you are a NASA scientist designing a cryogenic engine, or a professor at MIT? in another comment you are commanding an aircraft carrier in italy, and in some other you have worked on INS Kalvari submarine? you have a estate in Kalasa and what not? How many pereira's reached the top serving in Indian Navy? do you know commodore pereira? or late commander George Martis, Admiral OS Dawson.Designing a cryojenic engine is one of the toughest jobs, today is the launch of GSLV-D5 watch that u will know ,writing a comment on daiji is one thing and telling the truth about yourself is another? be true to your heart sir.

    DisAgree [9] Agree [19] Reply Report Abuse

  • Glenn, Mangalore/Kuwait

    Mon, Aug 19 2013

    Mr.Perera after Albert Einstien you are the brilliant brain on this planet.I saw you in numerous chllenging professions through daiji platform.Something like NASA to submarine design.Is it factual?

    DisAgree [7] Agree [12] Reply Report Abuse

  • M W Pereira, Mangalore / Fano, Italia

    Mon, Aug 19 2013

    Good day Mr.
    Joe Mascarenhas
    Here is my life story in short:
    I joined as Short Service Commissioned Officer in the Indian Navy in 1970.
    The very next year there was war between India and Pakistan.
    I retired from the Indian Navy in 1976 and proceeded to do my M.Tech in Newcaste University, UK.
    After doing my M.Tech, I went to MIT to do my P.hd. However, I did not complete my thesis.
    I was offered part time job in MIT (a low post).
    Then I got a chance to work for NASA for 1 year where I worked for 6 months in the design section.
    I was still not satisfied with what I achieved.
    Then I joined the Merchant Navy since the pay was excellent. One gets 3 square meals a day and a steward looks after you.
    During my career spanning 45 years, I have worked in numerous jobs.
    I am still working at this age since I am scared of retiring.
    After living a life full of action and keeping myself busy all these years, I do not want to call it a day so early.
    I do not feel offended by your reply since I myself get confused at times.
    Have a nice day son.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [21] Reply Report Abuse

  • prakash, mangalore

    Mon, Aug 19 2013

    Today we have very dignified and respected well mannered Woman who is harassed by some goons and also by Husbands in their married life. But as it is rightly pointed out in this article there are equally good no of men who becomes prey for the false accusations. Who will save them? For instance if a lady screams in the public saying that this man harassed me sure the public will bash the person with out even inquiring (even if he is innocent) some people will act as heros and bash (Gumpinalli govinda). Therefore, there must be restrain and the law which equally respects and upholds the exploitation of the Men by few greedy Women. Thanks to Florine Roche to bringing about this article.

    DisAgree [5] Agree [17] Reply Report Abuse

  • Manish Shetty, Derebail Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 19 2013

    @Mr.M W Pereira
    Why don't you write a book about your life? It will keep you from being lonely and you are in ITaly, Its such a nice country to chill back and write. Its so inspiring place.
    Let me know once you finish the book, I will be the first one to buy.

    DisAgree [6] Agree [11] Reply Report Abuse

  • Manish Shetty, Derebail Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 19 2013

    @R.Bhandarkar
    No offence intended.
    Your Spirit amazes me :)
    Keep it up.

    DisAgree [3] Agree [9] Reply Report Abuse

  • Langoolacharya, Belman/Washington,DC

    Mon, Aug 19 2013

    Bhandumaam,

    Which Spirit you are talking about???

    ...JH...

    DisAgree [1] Agree [10] Reply Report Abuse

  • Denis Patrao, Bangalore

    Mon, Aug 19 2013

    There should be a strict law ( 5 yrs Rigorous imprisonment ) to protect Men from the false cases lodged by Women.This happens more during a marital split / divorce.

    Such false cases were lodged against my son in his divorce case.

    DisAgree [3] Agree [17] Reply Report Abuse

  • Joe Lobo, Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 19 2013

    Very nice article by Florine Roche. Yes this is becoming more and more prevalent in today's society. False cases being filed by women out to take revenge on their husbands,in-laws,boyfriends etc.The shocking part is it so easy for women to file such false cases and they walk away scot free after the case is dismissed as false by the court. Legal terrorism is the right word for it.It has become so common that today you can be more or less assured of a false case against you if you have problems with your wife/girlfriend. High time these laws inculcate provisions to penalize heavily anyone falsely filing such cases.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [20] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Dear Pereira Sir
    I am stunned reading your story...I really am. Almost all my comments are to spread cheer, knowing very well that if allowed, pain has the power to corrode and
    destroy completely.Have had bitter  experiences in life,have overcome them, but will look upon you now as a Master.Do let me know your birth date which I remember is 67 years back, along with your email.id for a surprise that very day.
    It's for long since I have learnt  anything worthwhile, that would have helped me further in life.
    Whatever said and done Sir, I am still stunned.
    Sincere Regards.







































































    DisAgree [3] Agree [6] Reply Report Abuse

  • M W Pereira, Mangalore / Fano, Italia

    Mon, Aug 19 2013

    Good day Mr. Bhandarkar,
    Many thanks for you kind and encouraging comments.
    Here are my Indian agents details:
    IMS SHIP MANAGEMENT PVT. LTD.
    Block No. 33/A/B/C/D, 6th Floor,
    Vaswani Mansion, Dinsha Vaccha Road,
    Churghgate, Mumbai - 400 020 (India).

    Tel: 91-22-42136708 / Direct Line : 42136738
    Mob: 91-9870578687
    Fax: 91-22-2287 5608
    My home telephone is: 0824-2211462
    My mobile number is 9611446105

    By the way, my date of birth is 21 August.
    My e mail id is: waltermar26@gmail.com
    Company Email: info@imsship.com
    Have a nice day son!

    DisAgree [3] Agree [7] Reply Report Abuse

  • Arun CK, Mlore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    I guess even Halappa & Renukacharya were victims of Gender Bias. HDK & Yeddi passed it in flying colours

    DisAgree [3] Agree [7] Reply Report Abuse

  • M W Pereira, Mangalore / Fano, Italia

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Good day to all!
    This is not a story but my own life.
    I fell in love with a Farsi girl during my Navy days. Had a daughter and after 5 years, she asked for a divorce quoting the reason that I am never there at home. I said okay.I Gave her most of my savings and a flat in Mumbai. My daughter is a Pilot of Boeing 777 flying from Mumbai to London. Both of them do not even call me even occasionally, even on my birthday!
    My second wife was from Venezuela. She was lovely, young, golden hair and one of the most beautiful persons I have ever seen.We loved each other desperately and with our hearts. Unfortunately she died in a road accident. Her daughter with me refuses to come to India and is a tennis player.
    My third wife was a Japanese from Fukushima, Japan - it was a love marriage.She was lovely inside and out and was one of the best person I ever met. We used to have sake, Japanese food and laugh till the sun rise. She was a scientist at Fukushima Nuclear plant. She got washed up in the Tsunami never to be seen ever again. My daughter whom I had with her survived.
    Now at my old age, only my last daughter comes to see me whenever she gets assignments in India. She is a model for Lifestyle, Marie Claire shoes etc.
    But my dear friends, I am the last person to cry over spoilt milk. I still look forward for tomorrow but am thankful that I got today!
    Have a nice day all of you.
    I am a Navy sailor (Captain) and still working since loneliness is a killer.
    A woman can make a man out of an ass but can also reverse the same.
    A house is made by a woman and can also be broken by her.
    Sorry for becoming sentimental.

    DisAgree [3] Agree [45] Reply Report Abuse

  • Alban Andrew, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    I totally agree with this article . where the Girl nowdays take advantage of the one sided law specially to NRI Husband.It happenw ith my son he had taken the girl to gulf and later there were lot of misunderstanding between them and then the girl told she wants do not want to stay with my son and wanthed divorcee. So she she went ack saying taht she will not demand anything. but after going she and her family menmber filed a false complaint for tortcher and dowry harsment. where my wife was called to,police station and then we had to compromise as my son was working in gulf he could note come back adn she and her lawyer took advantage of that and demanded huge amount of money. I believe they have never seen that amount in her life. So at last we had to pay her some amounts in lakhs and her lawyer also to take the case back.
    if needed document can be provided to daijiworld.

    I belive how maany men are suffering due to this law and those who cannot pay i dont what their condition will be .God only save them. Beware of such Woman.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [25] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    @ Manish Shetty....
    I just asked whether you were married.Never advised you against it.
    What never ...Wanna??
    Idea is to roam like a address less buffalo is it? ping something here and there as when it pleases? There is a saying...
    'Maduveaagade Huchu Hogadu...
    Huchu Hogade Maduve Aaagadu.....
    Please be aware of it.
    So what if Bidiyalli 'Huli'? Roar with all your might.
    'Maneyalli Illi' So what? Nibble
    to your heart's content.She will never say no if you know the knack.
    So all of you like Manish....
    Banish the idea of being 'Nomads'
    with dirty ideas and settle in a 'house' which you can call your own in the truest sense.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [6] Reply Report Abuse

  • MANUAL, BAJPE/MANGALORE

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Well said by Mr. James D'Souza and Mr. Henry Lewis. Some of the lawyers encouraging the married ladies to file the divorce petition against their NRI husbands to destroy the family life. Even I have personally heard that some of the lawyers looted the wealth and valuable things from the ladies giving false assurances that she will be given the expert judgment without consent of their respective husbands. Even some of our Christian community lawyers are waiting like Lucifer in hell to file the false allegations against the respective husbands unknowing the truth from the ladies. Even though whole society in Mangalore know about this Christian family’s 3 sister story and their American brother who is financing and destroying his sisters married life encouraging them to divorce and enjoy the life with young youths and adopt American culture. Shame on this uncultured family in this world destroying a true Christian family.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [17] Reply Report Abuse

  • oliver lobo, kulshekar

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    The writer has given happenings in some family and quoted examples. But it would have better if a eminent lawyer could give suggestions and precautions how genuine families could be protected from false cases

    DisAgree Agree [11] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    See all
    'Behind every successful man there is a woman' and all that is a time tested adage for long. Along with this (with fast changing times)another has also to be added
    to keep pace with this era of fast and furious happenings. This addition would suffice I believe...
    'Behind every Fallen Man, there is a Woman who gave him the the Push'!

    DisAgree [1] Agree [20] Reply Report Abuse

  • Bulsam, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    There are a lot of matrimonial disputes these days where the arguments and fights between the spouses reaches such a level that both of them can go to any extent to make the life of the other person miserable.
    Every matrimonial conduct, which may cause annoyance to the other, may not amount to cruelty. Mere trivial irritations, quarrels between spouses, which happen in day-to-day married life, would not amount to cruelty. The foundation of a sound marriage is tolerance, adjustment and respecting one another. Few arrogant women or few women who have arrogant mother do file false dowry harassment complaint against their husband and family members. These women find happiness when their estranged husbands/son-in-laws wandering between police station and court. No man with self-respect will ever take back such women with strange mental blocks. Even false complaint by wife is a valid ground for a divorce.

    DisAgree Agree [12] Reply Report Abuse

  • Manish Shetty, Derebail Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    @R.Bhandarkar
    WOw, Thanks for the info. I am not married and never wanna... I don't wanna be "Beedi yalli Huli... Manne yalli elli"...
    Like you :)

    DisAgree [1] Agree [12] Reply Report Abuse

  • SONIYA, MANGALORE

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Very nice article. It is the need of the hour for such a write up.I hope Daiji comes out with some more articles of such nature which would provide ray of hope for those who are victimised. The number of cases these days are increasing where undue advantage of the law is taken. extortion of money is the main aim here. there are women who really suffer, but there are a few women who make others suffer. Instead of working on bridging the gap in their families, they tend to break their head on how to create ruckus in their husband's life. I think if these women would work in the betterment of their relationship with her partner then atleast maximum amount of the present day marriages would survive.Kindly re think before you say dowry harrasment, sexual assualt, domestic violence . Do not play up with anyobody's life, because you have no right to do so.At the same time parents also do not interfere with vested interest. Live and let live.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [17] Reply Report Abuse

  • Prakash Naik, Kundapur, Muscat

    Mon, Aug 19 2013

    Really unbiased statement from Soniya, which is very rear to hear from a lady. Thank you Soniyaji.
    Most of the married women go for divorce because of ill-advisers, and later on they repent for their stupid actions. When they start realizing that there is no fun living alone, it is already too late, and you see hundreds of your face in a broken mirror and will not be able to identify which one is the real one.

    So, it is always better for both the genders to think hundred times before taking any drastic step, especially when it is a question of one's life which is surrounded by a family created by them.

    DisAgree Agree [9] Reply Report Abuse

  • Thomas Pascal Andrade, Valencia / Toronto

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Thanks DW for this beautiful eye-opening article. In our country, if a girl wants to complain against her husband or in-laws, it is very easy for her to complain saying they are torturing her for dowry and the cops are quick enough to take action against them. And if there is a political pressure as in the case of Mr. Shetty, who has detailed his problems in his comments herebelow, then it is only God who can save the victimized man. He is left with only the option to compromise with girl’s family and end up paying huge compensation to settle the issue.
    Having said this, I would say there are more women than men suffer silently because of her husband and his family. However some women are taking undue advantage of our “andha kanoon”. In the latter cases men are always at receiving end because they can’t prove their innocence.
    I know a man who is our relative. He loves his wife so much that he is willing to do anything for her. However, he is not blessed with a good married life. He and his family started to suffer from his wife from day one of their marriage. Soon after their marriage, she lodged a complaint against him for dowry harassment. The boy’s family is well off and certainly does not need her dowry. Then she left him for her parents’ home. Then once he did a bad thing, which he should not have done. He took her by force to an unknown place and they were caught by police. Needless to say he was charged for kidnapping and rape. He took this extreme step because he was so obsessed of her and no amount of requests from him changed his wife’s mind to come back to him and start afresh.

    DisAgree Agree [15] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Here in cases of Articles like these too, after reading, there will be harassment in many households...
    Some wives are sure to 'order' or 'harass' their hubbies into disagreeing with what is written mostly in the 'comment forum'..With dialogues /scenes running something like this...
    Wife:'Allen Yaa..Theyn Bhandarkaraan Kallen Borailaan Polle....Nonsense... Maar Thaaka Maar....
    Husband: Kashe Maarchen? Somar Asaa Gee Tho? Sath Borailaa Thaane Maathr...
    Wife: Sath Naa...Geeth Naa, Mando Soma Naathlo...Haaven Molle 'Disagree' Maara Thaaaje Commentavar... Theyn Punee Ek Kaam Soma Kaar...
    Husaband: (Meekly) Zyaat Go! Marthaa...Hodaan Bobo Marnaaka...Shezaari Yetle...Kaalen Zaale Monun Isaaroonk....
    (If any body wants translation definitely..pls let me know...it's not that easy to write in English....O.K.?)

    DisAgree [2] Agree [22] Reply Report Abuse

  • John Dsouza, Mumbai/ USA

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    I also know one case in Mangalore through my friend where the girl and her family Member filed a false case against her Inlaws for false dowry Harasments and tortcher and in return demanded hugh amount and then agreed for compensation and now that girl and their family is in Dubai

    DisAgree Agree [15] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    @ Manish Shetty....
    Ha Ha!!How can you conduct a 'lie detector' test on a supreme 'lie detector'?Aren't you married? Ask any husband who is the most powerful 'lie detector'....99 no 100.5% will confide that it is his 'wife'.
    Lie detectors have been manufactured deploying some e- method with the help of 'women's brain cells' for your kind information....much of it which comes later may be due to some weird technology and all that....
    Got it? Enlightened? Married or want to get married? Know this fact first.....O.K.?

    DisAgree Agree [26] Reply Report Abuse

  • Henry Lewis, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Mr.James D'Souza I knew this case.Ironically a catholic lawyer is defending these parasitic ladies.Conscience dead brother is financing from U.S.Height of demonic deeds.Fund,fun,sex & fantacy at the cost of someones life.God save their NRI husbands.Thanks to author for very informative article.Thanks daiji.

    DisAgree Agree [24] Reply Report Abuse

  • prp, mangalore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    It's too late. This QUESTION should have arised years before, at least now let the so called new gen start thinking the right way.

    DisAgree [3] Agree [14] Reply Report Abuse

  • Charles D'Mello, Pangala

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Better late than never Dear prp, Mangalore....

    DisAgree Agree [12] Reply Report Abuse

  • John Dsouza, Mumbai/Usa

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Was waiting that some one could write on this article . As specially Christian man or all men suffer because of one sided law. And the biggest benefits goes to the Lawyer andthe girl party as they can extract hughe amounts from NRI guys. As all know that no body will leave the job and come back and run after the cases in India which take so long in India

    DisAgree Agree [20] Reply Report Abuse

  • Flavian, Mangalore/Kuwait

    Sun, Aug 18 2013



    Hi Bhandarkar,

    What to say ! I am spell bound. Let others comment. Nice to read

    DisAgree [1] Agree [12] Reply Report Abuse

  • J.F.D'SOUZA, ATTAVAR,MANGALORE

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    The writer has given certain details that are happening in the family and because of this many families ruined. The quoted examples are fine. Really very informative article which will enlighten everyone. Keep it up.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [18] Reply Report Abuse

  • J.F.D'SOUZA, ATTAVAR,MANGALORE

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    The writer has given certain details that are happening in the family and because of this many families ruined. The quoted examples are fine. Really very informative article which will enlighten everyone. Keep it up.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [12] Reply Report Abuse

  • HENRY MISQUITH, Bahrain

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Nice article, thanks Florine. Man and woman should not harass each other, they should instead support each other like partners and work together to improve the quality of life of each one and contribute towards nation building...

    This is the reason why is China progressing so fast,they work unitedly as comrades towards a single goal,nation building !

    DisAgree [1] Agree [16] Reply Report Abuse

  • Flavian, Mangalor/Kuwait

    Sun, Aug 18 2013



    There is on woman power at the center. Powerful. Rest all are the mouns.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [14] Reply Report Abuse

  • Charles D'Mello, Pangala

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    There must be provision in the law, if a complaint turns out to be false, Then the entire expenditure of the Government also the opposite party has to be paid by the complainant or Life sentence...!!!??? Then only we can reduce pending complaints and court proceeding may run smooth.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [19] Reply Report Abuse

  • CONRAD JOHN TAURO, SHIRVA/UDUPI/DUBAI

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Hail Women Power To Hell Of Men Power.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [12] Reply Report Abuse

  • John Tauro, M'lore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    My heartfelt thanks to Ms. Florine Roche for bringing out our society's hidden truth. There would have been doubts and questions if such an issue was raised by a male writer.

    DisAgree Agree [25] Reply Report Abuse

  • R.Bhandarkar, M'lore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Dinesh Poojary ji...To continue...
    2014 onwards Men will drink Light
    Will hardly put up a Fight
    Most Women will drink Tight
    N Fight for what is Left of Right!
    (Please note...I have written 'Most' women....Some I want for songs to compose on,some to hold hands and so on....That and all will always be there o.K.?)
    Now after reading this I have to interview Florine to get a 'better picture'...No ..not of her...but of the whole situation......

    DisAgree [3] Agree [25] Reply Report Abuse

  • Shetty, Mangalore-Kuwait

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Very very informative!

    Oh man, all these days I was hoping someone would raise this Q coz I was one of the victim and went through lot of pain and mental harassment.
    My parents were dragged to the police station and to the court for nothing. I was charged with domestic violence and dowry harassment. Luckily they could not argue as I had a strong evidence to prove my innocence. Her family members were from a political background and made all the possible efforts to put me behind bars. When a case was registered against my family members,I pleaded the lady officer that it was all cooked up stories. The officer was not willing to listen to me no matter what. All she did was threaten me as she had political pressure. In turn I wanted to counter file a case against the accused but the lady officer(now transferred to panambur) was not willing to accept my papers.
    I am working abroad and was having a tough time running behind the case and finally came up with the conclusion to dissolve the marriage with the mutual understanding by paying a huge sum of money to the girl as compensation.
    This is how our system works..and yes who will protect the men from harrasement..thanx daiji for posting this informative article.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [41] Reply Report Abuse

  • Manish Shetty, Derebail Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Solution for all these lieing women is a simple lie detector test isn't it?

    DisAgree [1] Agree [15] Reply Report Abuse

  • James Dsouza, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    If you go to the family or civil courts in Mangalore you will come across many divorce cases where women have filed false complaints against men. sadly many of these people are from catholic community.Specially there is one case where 3 sisters from one family had applied for divorce ,filing a false case of domestic violence against their husbands( all of them were NRI's) and financed and encouraged by their brother who is in USA. One more Intresting part is all three got their boyfriends on facebook ( 8-13 years younger).The men are helpless and women have effectively taken advantage of Indian laws- which are only favourable to women.one more sad part is some lawyers even offer comission to people who can bring them these type of divorce cases.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [31] Reply Report Abuse

  • Langoolacharya, Belman/Washington,DC

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Iam surprised "facebook bhootha" is effecting so many families in Mangalore...I advised Bhandumaam to become a "Divorce Lawyer" but he refuses to become one on "moral grounds"....

    Bhandumaam could you please reconsider your decision and ask "Bejai Mai" for second opinion in case you dont trust me Sir ???

    ...JH...

    DisAgree Agree [9] Reply Report Abuse

  • Ted, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Behind Every Successful Man there is a Smart, & Loving Woman
    &
    Behind Every Loser Man there is a Dumb or a Woman who is inspired by Hitler

    DisAgree [3] Agree [20] Reply Report Abuse

  • Manish Shetty, Derebail Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Good Job Daiji, I salute you to take up this topic.
    Its true, My uncle who is NRI in Dubai is being harresed by his wife who left him to work in Bangalore since she wanted to work and could not find work in Dubai. So as soon as she reached india she started blackmailing saying she will file a complaint and so on.
    My uncle has huge loan he took to pay rent for his house and furniture and he is caught between all sides. He is sure law will not understand his predicament. He is depressed.
    Government should look after this issue since women are misusing this law against men and his family.
    There is one case in UAE where a women aborted her child without asking her husband since she knows law is in her favour what can man do? Hit her, If he does she will go to police and man will not go to police to complain. So what happened this man took and knife and killer her and himself.
    If there is no soultion for this atleast a Lie detector test for lieing women it would save many lives.

    DisAgree [4] Agree [26] Reply Report Abuse

  • Dinesh Poojary, Kundapura/Bengaluru

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    In 1813, women had no rights...

    In 1913, women started fighting for some rights...

    In 2013, women are always right....

    DisAgree [7] Agree [80] Reply Report Abuse

  • NS, M'lore

    Sun, Aug 18 2013

    Very informative and relevant article. Articles like this will bring awareness in the society and at least people will not mistreat victims who are already harassed by law.
    Hope the law are corrected soon to minimize misuses.

    DisAgree [3] Agree [32] Reply Report Abuse

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Title : Gender bias: Who will protect the men from harassment?


 
 
 
 

 
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