Dr Vincent Alva
Mangaluru, Oct 16: “The person who commits suicide dies once. Those he/she left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moments asking why?” Isn’t it appalling eye-opener? The person who commits suicide thinks he has put an end to all his problems. But he is not there to realize that he has sung a prelude to a heap of problems.
I am not trying here to be a psychologist, when I am not, to speak about the things and thoughts involved in the act of suicide. There are qualified persons to do it and we have heaps of literature available on prevention of suicide. Moreover, there are scores of NGOs and helpline to help those who mull over the act of suicide. So, it will be a fallacy to consider that we have not done enough to help the people to manage their stress and love life. But still the suicidal tendency is on the increase day by day? Why?
Earlier this tendency was more among the middle-aged people and reasons mainly were financial crunches or health issues. But now from a kid to the person, who is almost reaching the grave, think of committing suicide. Ask the reason and the answer is ready – depression or stress. I am not shocked with these reasons. Only the person who cannot manage his/her affairs ends life thinking that it is a solution to his/her problems. But he/she is not aware that it is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
When we hear about persons committing suicide, our heart cries. It is human to feel so. But I am all the more aggrieved over the social responsibility of the sane people carrying insane mind. It has become an illogical habit with us to talk about the issue on social media. It has become an easy way for the people to tall negatives on social media giving least respect to the sentiments of the people who are directly affected. That is why, I will not hesitate of going to the extent of calling ourselves monsters in the garb of a sheep. We are not bothered about emotional wreckage of the people, who have suffered the loss.
No sooner we hear the news of a suicide case than our fingers itch to type the message and post it on the social media. There is urgency in the act because there is an innate feeling that you should be the pioneer of this news origin. While doing so no matter how badly things are messed up one wants to be the originator of the news. Another person will go a step further by capturing the picture of the horrible act in his cell-phone and posting it in the public media as though he has captured a life-time scene. Yet another person posts the family photos of that person’s good-old happy memories with a long eulogy with lots of embarrassing facts as if he has done a research worth fetching him a great prize.
Then starts the character assassination. People have time for spreading rumours and they have their blessed cell-phones to do it as quickly and widely as possible. It starts with a hush; “Don’t tell anyone, I am telling you because you are my close friend. Do you know? He/she committed suicide because ………………..” And the same person has already had it forwarded the same to five people and the act gets multiplied. The hen turns into a colourful peacock without even giving a least thought about the lamenting ones.
Why this irresponsibility? Should we blame our heartlessness, our audacity or the social media? How can we be so inhuman not to respect the sentiments of the bereaved family? One small exercise to the heart and mind will definitely hold us back from posting horrendous posts. Put oneself in the place of the people who have lost a person. One will be socially more responsible not to repeat this inhuman act.
Let us understand, no one wants to die. But the momentary situation hovers on him like an invisible spirit of death calling him to the other world. Then just remember these beautiful lines,
Just when the caterpillar
Thought the world was over
It became a butterfly.
The moment you’re ready to quit
Is the moment
Right before a miracle happens.
Don’t give up.
Vincent Alva