New Delhi: Men reveal abuse, sexual harassment from wives, rally for justice


Daijiworld Media Network - New Delhi (MS)

New Delhi, Nov 20: When we watch several panel discussions on television on marital rape, our mind assumes that only women are at the receiving end of such crimes. However, several horrifying tales of husbands getting subjected to inhuman sexual torture by their wives, have been revealed from New Delhi.

Hundreds of men in the National Capital Region carried out a protest rally on Sunday, November 19, which is also celebrated as 'International Men's Day', from Leisure Valley Ground in Gurugram to Red Fort, opposing the criminalisation of marital rape, a matter which is subjudice at the Delhi High Court.

Quite shockingly, SIF-one, the largest all-India helpline for men in distress, receives on an average, 5,000 calls per month from across India. Most of these are complaints of domestic violence, including physical and sexual assault suffered by husbands at the hands of their wives. If the husbands dare say 'no', they are accused of baseless allegations and have to take on long legal battles, which is really unfortunate of our modern society.


Fear of false cases of threat and harassment:

According to a report by India Today, Vijay Batra (name changed) says he was asked to get out of the house by his wife and had to spend four nights on the pavement of a street, as he did not agree to perform acts of pornographic fantasies of his wife. He got married just six months ago and he was ashamed and assaulted each time he refused the unusual sexual demands of his wife.

When Vijay went to the police station to register a case in this regard, to his utter dismay, police refused to file an FIR as there is no provision in the Indian law that would put a wife behind bars for sexual torture of her husband. It is really disgusting that men like Vijay have no legal help to defend themselves and the only option is of divorce, which, most men claim, hurts more on both emotional and financial fronts.

"My wife assaulted me physically, whenever I refused to have sex. In the beginning, I was abused emotionally. I am a call center employee and on certain days my stress at work will not leave me with any energy to have sex with my wife," says Rakesh Joshi (36), (name changed), who is married for a year and a half.

Rakesh also says, "My wife would not hear any of my woes and would say that she will file a case of impotence on me. Due to the fear of legal and social embarassment, I used to have sex with her against my will. Finally, it went to the situation, wherein, she will scratch my arms and neck with her nails whenever I said no to her demands of sexual gratification."

When Rakesh tried to retort his wife's demands for sex, she complained to the police of harassment by him. "Out of sheer frustration, I pushed her one day when she tried to attack me. She called the police immediately. Only because of the mediation of my landlady, I was saved from that situation," he added.


Making fun of masculinity

The India Today report states that husbands who are subjected to sexual abuse say that they have become 'laughing stock' of the society. Suraj Tyagi (name changed), a 35-year-old businessman in Delhi, says that he is married for eight years and has to take care of his young son all by himself. "My wife is totally engrossed with sex and she urges me to perform perverse sex on her. When I cannot fulfill her wishes, she makes fun of my manhood and admonishes to have an illicit love affair," he said.

According to Suraj, his wife does not do a single chore at home. The total responsibility of cooking, dropping the son to school and taking care of his homework is on his shoulders. He has attempted to end his life on several occasions but his son's future holds him back. He has no social interaction at all as his friends poke fun at him.

"The demand to criminalise marital rape is a premeditated effort to label Indian husbands as potential rapists, a hype of having another oppressive law without enough obstacles, which can be used as a tool to favour a wife in case of a relationship that turns sore," said Amit Lakhani, Men's rights activist and president of Men Welfare Trust that organised Sunday's rally.

He also added, "Men have been picturized as 'villains' and women as 'exploited' in today's social set up. Indian Law does not consider domestic violence on men, leave aside sexual violence by wife on her husband. But the fact is that either the husband or the wife can be the victims of marital violence. It is very unfortunate that at present the laws cover only the violence that is inflicted on a wife by her husband and not vice versa."

  

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Comment on this article

  • harsh, mangalore

    Wed, Nov 22 2017

    atleast now i expect govt to come up with some criminal laws to stop such harassment against men, i hv always heard tht men and women are equal... thn y such disparity in criminal laws

    DisAgree Agree [3] Reply Report Abuse

  • tom cat, mangalore

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    wife harassing men is news , I dont believe it , at least in mangalore. It will be a miracle if it happens in mangalore.

    DisAgree [9] Agree Reply Report Abuse

  • CR7, UAE

    Wed, Nov 22 2017

    you need to explore the world..... come out of your home please.

    DisAgree Agree [6] Reply Report Abuse

  • Ivan, Mumbai

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Wow!!! Atlast this is coming up. The society thinks Women as soon Angels who can never commit any crime and Men as the one who inflict abuse and violence on Women.

    DisAgree Agree [7] Reply Report Abuse

  • Shammi, Karnataka

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Every city and town of India must have meditation centres,be it yoga,zumba,aerobics and govt should make it compulsory atleast twice a week to do meditation .Meditation helps the body to be calm ,it balances the hormones.Controls the desire.Morover it teaches human to be kind and patient.Or else fasting is the only way to destabilise sex hormones.
    When a lady can delivery a baby, why not control herself.I pity such men.May God protect you.

    DisAgree [3] Agree [5] Reply Report Abuse

  • Rajesh, dubai

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Now I know why most of the western governments are recognising gay marriages.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [4] Reply Report Abuse

  • Diwakar, Bangalore

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Mitron... ... Habitual hugging fellow also appearing to be promoting . This is now a trend..... like selfie habit...

    DisAgree Agree Reply Report Abuse

  • Priya, Manglore

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Yes true. I have seen bad side of this genration girls. Big difrence btween old gen grls and ths gen. I am happy with my husband. Coz i hav power of geting adjustd. Ths genratn couples fi8 argue and divorce. Very bad remark.
    Girls manerce and respect towards men important. Dont ruin ur family

    DisAgree [2] Agree [10] Reply Report Abuse

  • Prem, Mumbai

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    The educated girl is just like asnake in birds nest. It wil eat eggs and even parent bird.
    Grl is good only when she knows to respect and value husbands parents or decisions.
    educated girl wil break all the rules. And live a guys life..by bringing western culture.

    DisAgree [4] Agree [17] Reply Report Abuse

  • Flavy_polly@hotail.com, Mangaluru/Kuwait

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Some consolation and encouragement for men who are suffering and crying in silence. The problem even if a man complains no one yield or sympathize of believe but woman has a better ways to make believe.
    Adjust the situation and try to live happily.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [8] Reply Report Abuse

  • Alwyn, Mangalore

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Nwdays girls have heavy demand towards mariage guys should be rich and house and gulf. Its this generation dowry harazment to guys. Grls want to work . Doesnt knw to cook.

    DisAgree [4] Agree [13] Reply Report Abuse

  • Fredi, Mangalore

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    More education to girls is big danger to future cultural generation
    Girls wil empower knowlege and try to Reset all culture. By dominating men.
    Women are comamly knwn for Argument
    Men should be placed 1st and respected.
    Women should be below mens comands.
    thats not my advice. It is actual traditional culture.

    DisAgree [5] Agree [10] Reply Report Abuse

  • shan, dubai

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    If women harasses husband they treat as chamatkar..... If husband harasses wife than it is balathkar... this is Indian law...... Please change it as hum sub eak hai.

    DisAgree Agree [18] Reply Report Abuse

  • Bengalurian, Bengaluru

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    "Onja kai nilike kaas uppodu, ijjanda mai nilike maasa uppodu" (Either men should have lots of money or else lots of muscles).

    DisAgree [1] Agree [19] Reply Report Abuse

  • Vincent Rodrigues, Bengaluru/Katapadi

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Quite reasonable demand and his appeal need to be reviewed

    DisAgree Agree [12] Reply Report Abuse

  • Mangalurian, Mangaluru

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Most Western countries have gender-neutral laws.

    India is among a handful of countries where the laws are framed such that women are innocent and men are guilty BEFORE the matter goes to court.

    So I tell every unmarried male: wait till your girlfriend turns 40 before marrying her.

    After the girlfriend turns 40, there is lesser chance of her to mentally torture you! No gurantees of course. But a lesser risk.

    Despite this advice if a man marries earlier, no one can help you! Definitely not the Indian police, courts, media.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [19] Reply Report Abuse

  • Rita, Germany

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    It is hard to believe but true.Men too are harassed by wives .There are many such instances.Only men dont comeout and tell around,feel ashamed,and by soceity laughed about exactly what in this article said.But now men dare to outing their situation.Here and some other countrys there are homes for men who undergo tortures form their wives many times visible and severe,from house thrown out,go to police, and they will give shelter for some days till they find a solution.In India ,why police dont take any action when men complain I dont understand.They could atleast register and findout what is wrong.Police play a faul game. Lets hope in future Govt.notice and give support and bringout a law to such men.

    DisAgree Agree [18] Reply Report Abuse

  • Joe D'Souza, Mangalore

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Finally Men came forward. Thanks to YOU Guys.
    I had always observed that when Police arrest group of illegal People of both gender together, faces of women are covered. But faces of Men are exposed to shame them. Some time Police do not expose the names of Females but Men's names are highlighted on the headlines of Media.
    Law should be equal when it is wrong. In brothel arrest Men who had good time get are arrested and exposed on media but the women who received Compensation are hidden by Women Police, face covered with cloth and taken inside vehicle.
    Adam was told not to eat Apple given by?

    DisAgree Agree [12] Reply Report Abuse

  • SN, MANGALORE

    Mon, Nov 20 2017

    Please do not come to any conclusion that men are responsible for all violence on women and the like . Women are equally responsible and pester poor husbands a lot.

    DisAgree Agree [55] Reply Report Abuse

  • Jenifer, Mangalore

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    It comes to the fore through the comments below, as to how much the menfolk are intimidated with the presence of the other gender. Well, it all started after women got educated them-self and got into working, earning equally or more than their male dominates. Honestly, the first thing that comes to a man's mind upon knowing a woman is, 'how to get her'. Whether as a girlfriend, wife or whatever. She is expected to be good and to be listening to all what he says. The moment she goes against, the plan starts about 'how to destroy her'

    This is the reality and exactly what is going on in our society. Fortunately, there are couples who expect less from each other and compromise when their 'want' is not met with. Those who understand that maintaining calm than aggression is good for the peaceful existence of family, especially children.

    Failures are those who come on streets seeking attention and highlighting their problem. Again, this (the discord, abuse, torture) applies to both genders, no discrimination. Period.

    DisAgree [10] Agree [9] Reply Report Abuse

  • AmAlive, Mangalore

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    You need to know some real stories of harassed husband...May be your brother or uncle or a friend who looks perfectly fine and smiling happy... Divorce is an easy tool but when kids are involved we just have to tolerate the nonsense and try to live. ..accept the abuse as a cyclic karma.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [12] Reply Report Abuse

  • sri_elder, Karkala

    Mon, Nov 20 2017

    Divorce and get a life!

    Man started everything marrying them otherwise girls were peaceful creatures and they would have been married by some other aadmi...

    DisAgree [30] Agree [10] Reply Report Abuse

  • Jamal, Mangalore/Abudhabi

    Mon, Nov 20 2017

    Both wife and husband are involved for mental torture, harrasement etc etc. No more comment.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [38] Reply Report Abuse

  • Jossey Saldanha, Mumbai

    Mon, Nov 20 2017

    Before 2014 everything was Peaceful ...

    DisAgree [22] Agree [80] Reply Report Abuse

  • Kiran M, Mangalore

    Mon, Nov 20 2017

    Yes, after 2014 your frustration has grown manifold.

    DisAgree [21] Agree [35] Reply Report Abuse

  • Jossey Saldanha, Mumbai

    Mon, Nov 20 2017

    You know the reason ...

    DisAgree [11] Agree [41] Reply Report Abuse

  • Rathan, Mangalore

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Jossy
    The reason is "khane ko nahi mila raha hai "
    There is a chance in niddramayya till May 2018

    DisAgree [13] Agree [7] Report Abuse

  • David Pais, Mangalore

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    @Rathan, Mangalore, chaiwala slept in da parliament.

    DisAgree [1] Agree [4] Report Abuse

  • Avinash, Mangalore

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Clear example of people who lack humour

    DisAgree [1] Agree [5] Reply Report Abuse

  • Sunil, Mangalore / Mumbai

    Mon, Nov 20 2017

    The Term 'Gender Bias' today only refers to wrong doings by men on women especially in work atmosphere or at any other place for that matter. Which is actually wrong , Gender bias is applicable either ways .

    DisAgree Agree [24] Reply Report Abuse

  • RUDOLPH, MANGALORE

    Mon, Nov 20 2017

    EFFECT OF CHAI

    DisAgree [8] Agree [61] Reply Report Abuse

  • Jenifer, Mangalore

    Mon, Nov 20 2017

    If you guys prove that all men are saints and there is no torture, abuse of women at all, I will be joining your rally without one second thought.

    No, I don't say that there is no harassed husbands. It goes 50-50. Those who erred must be punished irrespective of gender. But we want a peaceful society, loving couples so that our generation tomorrow will be a happier one.

    Therefore, wherever you can put behind the past and look forward for a better tomorrow, please give it a try. Because a biological father or mother can never happen second time and that biological connection is too important and precious for your children.

    DisAgree [36] Agree [15] Reply Report Abuse

  • shan, dubai

    Mon, Nov 20 2017

    If you prove that all ladies are saints and there is no torture, abuse of men at all, I will be joining your rally without one second thought. Why Police is supporting only ladies even though the complain against men is not true.

    DisAgree [2] Agree [47] Reply Report Abuse

  • Jenifer, Mangalore

    Mon, Nov 20 2017

    Have you seen ladies coming on streets like this seeking justice ? For several years they suffered silently and now that they are legally supported, let those abused get justice.

    I said the abuse is 50-50, not taking any side. Your participation is not solicited, voluntary is welcome.

    DisAgree [18] Agree [7] Reply Report Abuse

  • Dr Mohan Prabhu, LL.D, QC, Mangalore (Kankanady)/Ottawa, Canada

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Push back time for bleeding hearts!

    DisAgree Agree [5] Report Abuse

  • Jaimini P.B., Manipal,Sharjah

    Mon, Nov 20 2017

    Sexual attack by wives ...??????? What type of attack it is !!!!!

    DisAgree [36] Agree [17] Reply Report Abuse

  • Alwyn, Canada

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    Jamin why? Try to get an idea hahah

    DisAgree Agree [6] Reply Report Abuse

  • Jossey Saldanha, Mumbai

    Tue, Nov 21 2017

    No wonder my friend fled after Marriage ...

    DisAgree Agree [19] Reply Report Abuse


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Title: New Delhi: Men reveal abuse, sexual harassment from wives, rally for justice



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