Pics: Stanly Bantwal
Daijiworld Media Network – Mangaluru (SB)

Mangaluru, May 1: As many as 19 couples tied the nuptial knot at the 43rd mass wedding ceremony organized by St Vincent De Paul Society at Rosario Cathedral here on Monday, May 1.

Bishop of Mangaluru, Dr Aloysius Paul D'Souza, who was the main celebrant at the ceremony, solemnized the nuptials.

Bishop in his homily asked the newly wedded couples to live a pious life. "You marry your partner here on the Altar in the presence of God. May God be present all times in your life, only then will your life be blissful. For that you need to lead a life according to the commandments given by God. No matter what your financial status is, be always religious and simple."

Social worker and well-known banker from Mumbai John D'Silva, who was the chief guest, in his speech said,
"Newly married couples should strengthen the bond of marriage and uphold family values. Mutual understanding with sharing and caring is the key to a successful and blissful marriage. Only with God’s grace can marriage be successful. I wish happy married life to all newly wedded couples."

Mangaluru South MLA J R Lobo who graced the ceremony called upon the couples to live a simple life as they sacrificed heavy expenses to enter marital life through the simple mass community wedding at Rosario. "St Vincent De Paul Society's work is commendable. There is no point in spending lavishly for weddings. Simple life is great life. Also, the new couples should avail the facilities offered by the government for the betterment of minorities," Lobo said.

Brides and bridegrooms from Dakshina Kannada, Kasargod, Udupi and Bijapur participated in the ceremony.

Fr J B Crasta presented gifts to couples and also tokens of appreciation to the donors.

Maurice Monteiro and Rita Monteiro took part in ‘Opsun Dhivnchem’ ceremony.

Melvyn and Priyanka lighted the lamp on behalf of all newly wedded couples.Precilla Noronha raised the toast. Suresh and Carmel Priya responded to the toast on behalf of all couples. Elizabeth Roche compered the programme.

Mass Weddings of Canara Catholics Well Rooted

By John B Monteiro

On May 1, 2017, nineteen young Catholic couples marched to the altar under the ornate dome of Rosario Cathedral in Mangaluru. They participated in the free community wedding ceremonies and celebrations organised by the Cathedral Chapter of St Vincent De Paul Society. Fr Fred Pereira, then parish priest at the Rosario Cathedral parish, actively encouraged and guided this initiative. Since the community wedding programme was initiated in 1975, and now in its forty-third year, over one thousand couples have walked up the church isle, pronounced their wedding vows, exchanged rings and garlanded. But the story should start from the beginning as the rationale of its founding still holds good – as I wrote covering the first event for the Madras-based The Hindu then.

In 1975, St Vincent De Paul Society’s Cathedral Parish Chapter was marking its silver jubilee. It thought of free community weddings as a novel addition to the string of charitable work it did. And it had good reason to zero in on this project. The objective was to discourage vulgar display of wealth (often borrowed) through conspicuous consumption of food and drink in celebrating marriages. The organisers wanted to save the newly married couples the burden of expenses associated with private single-couple weddings. In the case of poor people, such celebration not only wiped out economic foundation of married life, but in most cases, the newly married couple started life with a burdensome legacy of debts. This, instead of starting a joint life on a joyous note, introduces a dreadful note of worry and depression on the marital canvas.

Wedding celebrations among Canara Catholics is not a one-day affair. Conspicuous consumption starts days in advance of the wedding and lasts much beyond it through a series of dinners and return dinners, with drinks forming integral part of the menu, given in honour of the bridal couple and their parents. Any excuse is good enough to start an entertainment cycle. The bride viewing, which need not be one-time affair, is an occasion for a dinner for the visitors. Then comes the engagement which is hosted by the bridal party. The wedding-eve Roce, the ritual bath for the prospective bride and groom, separately in their respective houses, and now even in hired halls, is also an occasion for lavish entertainment. The post-nuptial dinner is an expensive affair with hundreds of guests on both sides participating. Though the other feasts following the wedding are supposed to be for the close relatives, the list stretches to cover scores of guests – in a competitive show off of large circle of relatives. All through these celebrations, a band of “helpers” has to be entertained through breakfast, lunch, dinner and spirits.

The starting of community weddings in Mangaluru represented the beginning of revolt against the waste indulged in by Catholics in pointless celebrations. Catholic lay people and clergy banded together into a committee to organise the community weddings. The then Bishop Basil D’ Souza had been the chief celebrant for this annual event and, since his death, Bishop Aloysius Paul D’ Souza has been in this role – as in the latest event.

The initial organisers viewed with alarm the consequences of wasteful expenditure on wedding celebrations. In many cases agreed marriages were indefinitely postponed due to lack of funds. Prospects of such expenditure meant constant nightmare for parents, specially of grown up girls. It induced some girls to elope with those who promised to marry them without much expense. Some opted for civil marriages.

Against this, the Mangaluru community wedding organisers took care of both religious and social aspects of weddings on a collective level. They work months ahead to set the scene. On the appointed day the church ceremonies start with by reception to the nuptial couples and ending with wedding feast. Each couple was allowed to invite 50 guests for the celebration. The bridal couples are given a pair of nuptial rings along with household articles and dress materials. More than the gifts, the bridal couples are given advice – not to have any more festive dinners at home by invitation to mark the wedding.