April 16, 2006. (Easter Sunday)
Both my wife and I were watching a BBC documentary on Oscar Awards and suddenly I exclaimed while Shekhar Kapur’s nomination for Best Director was announced for ‘Elizabeth’.
“What a splendid director!” I said turning towards my wife. “Was he not the one who directed ‘Bandit Queen’ as well? What a successful career!”
But my wife was not impressed, as usual. “What a waste of talent,” she remarked.
“Why?”
“He won the heart of Suchitra Krishnamurthy but lost Shabana Azmi in the bargain. What a beautiful pair they looked in ‘Darpan’, the film they acted together the first and the last time?”
“That’s life,” I said. “One has to lose to win something. Did you not listen to what Manoj Kumar sang all along in ‘Shor’? ‘kuch paa kar khona hai, Kuchh kho kar paana hai, jeevan ka matlab to aana hi jaana hai..... zindagi aur kuch bhi nahin, teri meri kahani hai”
Daijiworld exclusive caricature by Harini
“I hardly watch Hindi movies as I do not grasp their language,” said my wife. “They say something and mean something else. But recently I saw a beautiful movie called ‘The Legend of Bhagat Singh’. How beautifully the director has captured the struggle of a freedom fighter. That is called a real success”
“Are you talking about Raj Kumar Santoshi?” I asked her.
“Whoever that is,” said my wife. “The name doesn’t matter to me because every other name in Hindi filmdom is a Khan or a Kapoor”
“But do you know something about Santoshi, he is no more a happy director. He lost Meenakshi Sheshadri after the stupendous success of ‘Damini’".
Now my wife seemed to suddenly develop a taste for filmi gossip.
“That is very strange,” - she said. “I heard something similar happened to Sanjay Leela Bhansali as well”
I looked at her in sheer dismay. How come she remembered such a difficult name?
"What do you mean?” I asked her.
“Don’t you little naughty boys know that Sanjay Bhansali lost Aishwarya Rai to Vivek Oberoi after such a great success of ‘Devdas’?
Now I realized that my wife had a better insight into the happenings within Bollywood than I had. We decided to draw a profit and loss account of the ‘Famous and the Beautiful’
“Let’s start with the great Showman, the late Raj Kapoor,” said my wife. “Is it possible for you to figure out what he gained and what he lost in one word?”
“Yes,” I said. “He gained the success of Sangam and lost Nargis to Sunil Dutt!”
But my wife did not agree with me, as usual. “You seem not to have heard of Mera Naam Joker and Simi Garewal,” she said. “He lost Simi after the movie and the latter wore a white sari all along, even after his death”.
“But the film bombed at the box office, isn’t it so?” I reminded her. “Mind you, we are talking about the Profit and Loss account and not about the ‘Slim Figure Account”
“OK, I give up,” said my wife. “Now it’s your turn.”
“Let’s talk about Mr Natwarlal and Rekha, for he lost the latter after that movie.”
“But was it a successful movie?” – she wanted to know.
“Of course, it clicked. The Big B even sang a song for the movie for the sake of experiment and out of sheer excitement. You know something more, Rekha kept clinging on to him all along the shooting of ‘Mr Natwarlal’”
“Do you think that history is getting repeated by itself? - said my wife. “These days, we hear the same thing about his son and Aishwarya, the blue-eyed girl from our neighbourhood?”
I did not wish to comment, as I was too protective about our next-door neighbour.
“It's your turn now,” – I said.
“What game are we playing?” she asked me with a blank face.
“Profit and Loss account of the ‘Famous and the beautiful’
“Should I say Dharmendra lost Meena Kumari after Pakeeza? You know, Dharmendra became famous after that?”
“OK, Mahesh Bhatt became a successful director after losing Parveen Babi,” I said.
“What about George Fernandes?" asked my wife. “Do you think he became famous after distancing himself from Laila Kabir?”
I was stunned. “But is he a film actor?” I asked her. "I thought he is a politician and a single person like any other politician like Vajpayee, Mamata, Jayalalithaa, Uma Bharti, Govindacharya and such other lot?”
“You are such an ignorant citizen, like any other second Indian,” said my wife. “Learn to take everything with a pinch of salt. George changes his make-up everyday, more often than an Amitabh or his son does. He changes his party, his statements, his language, and for the past few years he has even changed the colour of his shirt. He used to look so clean and decent in white when he was a union leader, he switched on to striped shirts when he became a minister, but, nowadays, he simply loves ‘saffron’ so that Advani, the great director of all-time super hit movie, ‘Hindutva’, doesn’t find him out of script.”
I thanked my wife for that great revelation.
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