July 14, 2012
 
Part I
 
The more I look at my family and its backgrounds, the more I am strengthened in my belief that God does not remain a debtor to anyone
 
I come from a big family of 15 children, 8 of them who died in their childhood and another 4 as years went by. Now, Bishop Patrick D’Souza, Bishop Emeritus of Varanasi, myself and my sister Maggie Tauro who lives with her children in Bangalore, in that order , remain.
 
My brother, Bishop Patrick had shown an inclination for priesthood and so Fr Joachim Monteiro and Fr Lawrence Monteiro who were assistant parish priests at Bendur at that time arranged to send him to the Minor Seminary at Ajmere. He was just 12 years old then. My parents were very poor but they offered their son generously to God My father had to reach him to Kallianpur from where he was to be taken to Ajmere. My father reached him there but for the return journey he had no money and so he walked all the way from Kallianpur to Bendur and as a result, his feet were swollen with fatigue.
 
Bishop Patrick did his Cambridge studies in Ajmere and also his Latin studies and for his Philosophy he was sent to the Jeppu seminary. For his Theology he was sent to Rome in 1950 and in 1953, he was ordained a priest. He did his Doctorate in Sacred Theology and returned to Mangalore in 1956.
 
In Ajmere my brother was the Principal of a College there and from there he was appointed the Secretary General of the CBCI (Catholic Bishops Conference of India). He was instrumental in organizing the National Seminar on Church In India Today. In 1970 he was appointed the first Bishop of the newly created Varanasi Gorakhpur diocese. He was the youngest Bishop to be appointed at that time.
 
My mother had a great desire to see him become a priest and after that her desire was to see him as a bishop. My brother was consecrated a bishop in August 1970, both my father and my mother could not attend the function in Delhi because of their old age and ill health. My brother came down to see his parents in August. And having her desire fulfilled my mother expired on September 18, 1970. My father died on Christmas day 1972.
 
I really feel that their sacrifices were amply rewarded. Yes, again it is a God who never remains a debtor.
 
 
Part II
 
God does not remain a debtor to anyone – my personal life has strengthened this belief in me.
 
It was in the primary school – one day students had not come prepared for the catechism Class ansd so our teacher Ms Rosie Coelho made us kneel down. After some time – she said: those who want to become a priest, can sit down. I took this opportunity and sat down , But that made the other students make fun of me calling me “padryaab” (priest) and that name stuck. May be that was the time I got an inspiration for priesthood.
 
But I was a terrible stammerer at that time. I could not answer a single question in School and my stammering was suffocating the listeners. After my SSLC, Fr Marian Fernandes, who was assistant parish priest at Bendur, knowing my desire, arranged to send me to Belgaum, st St Paul’s High School, run by Jesuits, hoping that the change of climate may help my stammering. It did not work and the Fathers there sent me back saying, if your stammering improves, you may come back.
 
I returned to Mangalore, and I saw that my parents had sold our house to settle the loans taken at the time of the wedding of my sister and were living in a rented room. I started working as a clerk and as I had to deal with customers, I found that my stammering was slowly going away. Then I reealised that my place was not “there” but “here”.
 
My salary was a pittance but I could not go out of Mangalore because there was no one else to look after my aged parents. Then I did my studies which had stopped at SSLC and did my BA privately. Then my marriage took place and we had children. My wife Mary was very supportive and when the children grew up, my wife and they cajoled me to go abroad so that our financial condition may improve. By this time, under Fr William Gonsalves’s guidance and insistence, who was the Headmaster of Padua High School, where I was working, I did my B.Ed and secured the sixth rank in the Univesity. My stammering had almost disappeared by this time.
 
Among our four children, two girls and two boys, the younger of the boys was a little more mischievous and boisterous than the other and I was surprised when he told me that he wanted to be a priest. He joined the Varanasi diocese where my brother was the bishop and presently, he , my priest son – Fr Sudhir – is doing his studies in the States.

What I could not do myself, God did it through my son.
 
I am strengthened in my belief – yes God never remains a debtor to anyone.