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What's Your EQ?
By Supriya Sequeira

August 8, 2011

For decades a lot of importance has been given to IQ. Parents always wish that their children should have high IQ. There is an opinion that only people with high IQ can succeed in life. Also, there is a philosophy that children with good academic record only reach better heights in career.

But now research has come up with something called as EQ. EQ means Emotional Intelligence. 

Let me elaborate on this so-called new thing.

We have seen people who had fabulous IQ scores and who were academically very bright end up as failures in their lives. One could say that they were wasting their potential by thinking, behaving and communicating in a way that slowed down their chances to succeed. One of the main reasons is they were not able to manage their emotions effectively. No matter how good we are in mastering a subject, we will not be successful unless we have optimum control over our feelings.

Managing emotions means

1. Don't be too emotional and nice always.

2. Don't have 'I don't care' attitude.

3. Ability to support others with our possible limits and at the same time the skill to say NO when we cannot support beyond our limits. That is to be firm, assertive and expressive based on a situation.

This is the essential foundation of EQ: to be successful requires the effective awareness, control and management of one's own emotions, and those of other people. 

Characteristics of Emotional Intelligence

Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist, developed a structure of five elements that describe emotional intelligence:

Self-awareness - People with high emotional intelligence are generally very self-aware. They understand their emotions, and because of this, they don't let their emotions rule them. They're confident - because they trust their feeling and don't let their emotions get out of control. They're also willing to take an honest look at themselves. They know their strengths and weaknesses, and they work on these areas so they can perform better.
Empathy - Empathy is the ability to identify with and understand the wants, needs, and viewpoints of those around us. As a result, empathetic people are usually excellent at managing relationships, listening, and relating to others.
Self-regulation - This is the ability to organize desires. People who self-regulate typically don't allow themselves to become too angry or jealous, and they don't make rash, careless decisions. They think before they act. Characteristics of self-regulation are thoughtfulness, comfort with change, honesty, and the talent to say NO.
Motivation - People with a high degree of emotional intelligence are usually motivated. They motivate themselves. 

Social Skills - It's easy to talk to and like people with good social skills. Those with strong social skills are typically team players. Along with their success, they help others develop and shine.
How to develop Emotional Intelligence

This brainpower is not something out of the world. It can be developed from within at no cost.

There is no age bar for attaining this intelligence.

Here are some simple tips to attain this:

Observe how we react to people. Do we rush to judgment before we know all of the facts? Look honestly at how we think and interact with other people.

Look at our work environment. Always aspire for excellence and have a CAN DO attitude and be self-disciplined.

Do a self-evaluation. Are we willing to accept that we're not perfect and that we could work on some areas to make ourselves a better person? We need to motivate ourselves for improvement rather than wanting others to motivate us.

Examine how we react to stressful situations. Do we become upset/angry every time there's a delay or something doesn't happen the way we want? The ability to stay calm and in control in difficult situations is highly valued - in the business world and outside it. Keep our emotions under control when things go wrong.

If we hurt someone's feelings, apologize directly - don't ignore what we did or avoid the person. If we have not hurt, just leave it.

We may have lost everything in life, but we should not lose hope.
By developing our Emotional Intelligence in these areas and the five EQ domains we can become more creative and winning at what we do and also help others to be more productive and successful.

The process and outcomes of Emotional Intelligence development also contain many elements known to reduce stress for individuals by decreasing clashes and thereby improving relationships and understanding.

So let's incorporate these tips in our lives and be winning individuals.


Supriya Sequeira Archives:

Comments on this article
Rudolf Rodrigues, BantwalTuesday, August 09, 2011
Doctors save lives, but they can sometimes be insufferable know-it-alls who bully nurses and do not listen to patients.
In the United States, at least, medical schools have traditionally done little to screen out such flawed applicants or to train them to behave better, but that is changing.

At Virginia Tech Carilion in Roanoke, the United States’ newest medical school, administrators decided against relying solely on grades, test scores and hourlong interviews to determine who got in.

Instead, the school invited candidates to the admissions equivalent of speed-dating: nine brief interviews that forced candidates to show they had the social skills to navigate a healthcare system in which good communication has become critical.

The new process has enormous consequences not only for the lives of the applicants but, its backers hope, also for the entire healthcare system. It is called the multiple mini interview, or MMI, and its use is spreading. At least eight medical schools in the US—including those at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California, the University of California, Los Angeles, and the University of Cincinnati—and 13 in Canada are using it!

The above is an extract from the Deccan Herald and shows how the importance of EQ over IQ is garnering attention. How true in real life there are many many lowly educated people who have made it big. Thanks for the informative article Supriya!!
Comment on this message     

A. S. Mathew, U.S.A.Monday, August 08, 2011
It is very true. Some of the most
successful people in the world had
less IQ, but they had very high
EQ so they were far successful than the high IQ holders. If the
smartest surgeon lacks skill in
interaction-empathy-self control
and motivation, he or she can be
the worst failure of life. In India, both in the public and private sector, the hiring is strictly based on test scores
and recommendation but the
personality and EQ of the candidates had far less preference
and priority. But, now it is time to get into that side also to
hire the most qualified candidates.
Comment on this message     

Rizwan , MangaloreMonday, August 08, 2011
great article .....keep it up
Comment on this message     

Sunil, Mangalore/DubaiMonday, August 08, 2011
Impressive, Motivational and Informative. Keeping writing,you have talent.
Comment on this message     

Deepak Shenoy Sankalakariya, Bahrain.Monday, August 08, 2011
Nice article Supriya. Striking a balance between Intelligence, emotions and relationships is called Prudence. We call Mother Mary, Virgin most Prudent in Konkani, Bhov Shaani Avnkwari...Ofcourse these days, people appreciate more secularistic define for lives, keeping God and spiritualism out. But ultimately, everyone has to return to where he came from, to the One who sent you into the world. EQ is not something new... it was previously called Prudence...which was always based upon Love and fear of God...God Bless.
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