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Taking it Too Easy...
by Deepa Dumblekar

Feb 25, 2010

Quite so often, we hear people saying ‘Take it easy’, ‘it’s okay’ and things like that, when someone is hurting or struggling through a difficult situation. It’s worse when they say that, when they themselves are the cause for it. For, taking it easy is easier said than done and takes a lot of effort on the aggrieved party to really make amends with the situation and move on, if at all.

Years back, on her return from travel to a distant place, my friend had a lot of photos in her camera which she longed to see, but the camera was not a digital one, so the photos needed to be developed. However, the roll was not completely utilized, so she had to wait. Soon after she returned, she left for an urgent errand leaving the camera on the table asking her sister to keep the camera inside. Later, when she took the camera to the studio, she was shocked to learn that all but three photos were exposed. She later came to know that her sister had forgotten to take care of the camera and a young child had played with the camera doing the unintended. When confronted, the lady casually said, “Now that the photos are gone, no point in fretting over them. Take it easy, these things happen once in a while.” My friend reluctantly swallowed her resentment but to date, does not trust anyone easily. Once bitten twice shy, she says.

Many a time, not just actions but also wrongly said words can create havoc in another person’s life. Which is why it is said: Words & hearts should be handled with care, for words when spoken & hearts when broken are the hardest ones to repair. 

My friend Reema had adopted Naina while she was an infant and she had shared this with her daughter over the years. Naina was as comfortable as she could be, with the fact. For some reason, Naina had fared badly in some subjects in school and so the teacher spoke to Reema in detail. All went well, until the teacher remarked, well in the presence of Naina, “You know madam, Naina is an adopted child, so she craves for a lot of love and attention, and that tells on her performance in tests”. That remark coming from an outsider, devastated Naina and she wept inconsolably well into the night till she caught fever. No doubt she had accepted the fact that she had been adopted, but she detested hearing it from outsiders and that too so insensitively. It was her private matter and the teacher did not need to refer to it so casually.

I empathized with Naina, for that was the best thing I could do then, and very soon took up the matter with the teacher. All the teacher had to say was, “It’s okay madam, I only said what is fact. What is the big fuss about?” I thanked God that Naina was not in our midst then.

I recall a recent incident that happened when I took my daughter to office on a rather free day. The little one was busy drawing something when a housekeeping lady walked in to clean the table. The moment she saw my daughter, she remarked, “Madam, your daughter is a little coloured, as compared to you. I suppose she got it from her father?” I tried to soften the effect of it saying, “No, no, I don’t think I am all that fair”, even as I cringed at the statement and its unavoidable implications. Needless to say, it took a lot for me to convince my daughter that I loved her all the same, whatever her ‘colour’.

All said and done, human behaviour being so unpredictable, expecting perfect interactions would be impractical. The least we can do when someone is feeling miserable, is offer our total acceptance of their injured feelings and help them cope with them. 

Like in the case of Naina, when she was through with weeping her heart out, I told her, “You know what? I too was adopted, but at such an age that the whole world knows about it. My hubby adopted me as his wife.” Her giggles confirmed to me and Reema that very few are indeed blessed with the gift of ‘taking it easy’. 

Deepa Dumblekar - archives:

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Comments on this article
vinaya, mangalore/jamshedpurThursday, March 04, 2010
Hi deepa, wonderful article.keep on writing.
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vinaya, mangalore/jamshedpurThursday, March 04, 2010
Hi deepa, wonderful article.keep on writing.
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Deepa, BangaloreWednesday, March 03, 2010
Thanks Jimmy. Heartfelt gratitude to God for giving me this talent of writing which could ease the burden in your heart.
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reena, saudiMonday, March 01, 2010
very nice...
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Jyothi Colaco, Belman / Mangalore / KuwaitMonday, March 01, 2010
WOW! What a beautiful SOUL you are DEEPA!!!
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Vijay Shetty, MuscatMonday, March 01, 2010
Facing faces of challenge.... indeed good article.
Confidence .. good example ... all is well..
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Vigil Fernandes, Mangalore/HoustonSaturday, February 27, 2010
Deepa thanks its a very good article. I myself feel hurt when it happened to me.I had days of sleepless nights.  Toungue is the most dangerous weapon.
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abu baker badiyar, dubaiFriday, February 26, 2010
well done DEEPA. A heart touching articles .good work and keep it up.
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Judith L, MumbaiFriday, February 26, 2010
Well written story in a simple and easy to understand way but with great learning.

Dear Deepa, your article is an eyeopener for all those who say things without realising what the outcome can be. Looking forward to more such writeups.
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usha shetty, mangalore/bloreFriday, February 26, 2010
deepa, like always u come out with simple but very effective anecdotes thanx for sharing.
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vidya shetty, mangaloreThursday, February 25, 2010
a very beautifully written article...thanks for sharing with us Deepa..:-)))
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Sandhya, BangaloreThursday, February 25, 2010
Well written, Deepa. It's simple and easy to understand. Yes, people need to be sensitive and think before they speak (which is rarely the case). All the best, Deepa:)
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Jimmy Noronha, Belloor/LucknowThursday, February 25, 2010
I was rather feeling too run down after the heavy schedule of the day and then just flopped on this chain and said let me see what’s on DW and lo and behold!, this lovely little article! Yes, really, it has taken no time to eat up all my heaviness and now I feel as light as a feather!! – wonderful write up, please keep going I shall devour them all .
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adshenoy, mangaluruThursday, February 25, 2010
life is beautiful, life is harsh, life is meaningless.
Its life. good thoughts deepa
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Najam Batrekere, BajpeThursday, February 25, 2010
Excellent - Take it easy Deepa Dumblekar.
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ALLWIN, BELTANGADY/MANGALOREThursday, February 25, 2010
Quite true. Well written. Simple & beautiful. Think before you talk.
Keep writing.
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Smitha D Souza, Mumbai/ MangaloreThursday, February 25, 2010
Well written article Deepa.. Keep writing!
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Sonu, Mangalore / DubaiThursday, February 25, 2010
Deepa, a well written simple article with lots of felings....

Good job!!!
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rohith martis, mani, m'lore-bangaloreThursday, February 25, 2010
wonderful article.....
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s pereira, Mangalore/AbudhabiThursday, February 25, 2010
Good Article Deepa.It is very difficult to forget the harsh words spoken by others.it remains forever like a scar to those people who are very emotional.
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D.M.D' Souza, BantwalThursday, February 25, 2010
I agree with u Deepa-minds are very sensitive & word spoken once cannot be taken back-however right or wrong it was at that time. So everbody take care & think twice before saying something. In Bible Jesus says the same-"The things that go in doesn't hurt anybody, but the things that come out of mouth do."
Well thought & written-All the best to u-keep it up.
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