Special

Why Should I Get Married?

August 11, 2016

Why Should I Get Married?

I learnt marriage is an equal responsibility
To give each other love and life in quality


But I can’t see love anymore
All I perceive is judgmental people and their abrupt snore


They tell me why don't you get married! You are 27!
They say it's time for you to entry this murky den


Why should I get married?
I guess, it is the way the societal drama is carried


To adjust with the social stigma and to play the gender role
To be mother, a wife, a proficient Indian woman – as we were told!

I don't want to get married, I want to adopt a child
Oh that's the way the society gets wild

A single parent – that's not what they want
"May be she is a whore" – further goes their taunt


Guess liberty is just a talk of puberty!
But then I don't care, I will get married for me and not for you
Say what the society I will get this through!

 

 

By Sandhya Soans

Comment on this article

  • Roshan Braganza, Mumbai

    Fri, Aug 19 2016

    @Joseph Gonsalves , Bannur / puttur . Your ignorance baffles me , if I say i need to know history of India , then does that mean i have to search only Indian books !? . No . Its part of world history and authors from all over the world are well substantiated . Exactly , Mother Mary is a historical figure and her existence is not only limited to synoptic gospels . Islam and Judaism , together with all historical books carry witness of Mother mary . She was Jewish and any amateur can point out , marriage of girl upon puberty under TORAH tradition . The Zondervan Pictorial Encyclopedia of the Bible points out, “It appears that both boys and girls were married very young. after the New Testament period the rabbis fixed the minimum age for marriage at twelve for girls and thirteen for boys . You can also search for historical missionaries like W M Thompson and White Alma .

    In all old testaments too , brides were normally at puberty . God with infinite wisdom mandated this , and as girls were married early , they were very righteous and faith full . If girl was single up to 18 , she was heckled by society and such cases were rare . Now a days , due to fierce feminist propaganda , they r trying to amend religious book to suit their vested agenda . And yes Mother Mary was virgin at Jesus Birth and nobody is denying that . Its a eternal truth and a mystery too .

    Agree [2]

  • Joe Britto, Nakre/Bangalore

    Thu, Aug 18 2016

    Dr Menezes has rightly understood and voiced what is the current scenario and mind you it's changing by the hour.These days we come across many who have married not once but even three times and finally they have found the right soul mate. Yes, marriage is not the be all and end all of life today .
    Yes by all means if you are happily married, it's great and the most ideal thing to happen. But marriage is akin to a lottery and a big chance factor despite all precautions taken by everyone concerned.Religion today is loosing it's fervor and it's also true in today's intolerable world that Religion is actually proving to be the root cause of most evil. What's acceptable to one religion is a sin to another community. Tolerance is a forgotten term of the last century and the policy is 'If you are not with me, then you are my enemy.'
    It's indeed sad and dangerous for inter religious marriages in India especially between some communities .
    The west has departed majorly from the ancient traditions of religion and marriages and India is now going through the boil. It's best to have a via median approach and have a tolerant attitude and avoid fixations in opinions on this most delicate issue. The truth is today development WR to Technology and Modern Gadgets is so fast that Spirituality and Religiosity has taken a beating and left far far far behind.Money power,Greed and the need to become rich by any means is the in thing and the rat race has gone beyond imagination .

    Agree [5]

  • Dr Menezes, Delhi

    Thu, Aug 18 2016

    I liked your poem. And you are right. No one has the right to force you to marry. It is not a question of feminism or society...it is sheer reality that divorce rates are increasing and marriage is not guaranteed anymore. Previously men and women stayed in abusive or loveless marriages due to society pressure and shame. Now no one can force/shame a man/woman to remain faithful in a marriage. In that case, what is the need to get forcibly married. For those people who feel that marriage is absolutely necessary, I ask them...can you guarantee that your child will be happy/secure/loved? If you cannot give that guarantee, you have no right to force your opinion on others.

    Agree [12]

  • Joseph F. Gonsalves, Bannur, Puttur / Mangalore

    Wed, Aug 17 2016

    Dear Roshan Braganza, Mumbai,

    I quote yours: The age of Mother Mary at the time of marriage is clearly mentioned as between 12 to 14 , in APOCRYPHA OF JAMES and Infancy gospel of James Unquote.
    I asked you to give the verse from the whole of the Holy Bible instead you are quoting me a APOCRYPHA OF JAMES and Infancy gospel of James. Where is the verse.

    We have four Gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke and John plus Acts of apostles and Epistles of Paul, Peter, Timothy, James and John. WHICH WHIMS AND FANCY JAMES INFANCY ARE YOU QUOTING TO ME? Is this James infancy Gospel is in the Holy Bible???!!!

    Tomorrow you will quote me from the forged Gospel of Barnabas.
    Should I and the rest of the people believe?

    I feel pity at your Holy Bible Knowledge.

    Still we are getting Gospels in the Jewish Palestine.

    Jews still believe the Messiah hasn’t come and they foresee the messiah.

    Should we believe in Jewish writing the age of Mother Mary was 12?!
    I don’t know why can’t you perceive simple matters?!

    Further to my comment: Jesus was born miraculously from the intervention of the Holy Spirit and a virgin became pregnant. In my opinion Mother Mary’s age must be in between 18-20 because she was chosen by God and when God chooses He will choose a right woman, a virgin woman who had kept her virginity intact. NOBODY DENIES THE FACT THAT MARY MOTHER OF JESUS WAS NOT A VIRGIN. SHE WAS A VIRGIN.

    WE HAVE TO GIVE MORE PRIORITY TO WOMEN BECAUSE SHE IS PHYSICALLY WEAK BUT NOT IN MIND AND SOUL.

    Agree [5]

  • Roshan Braganza, Mumbai

    Wed, Aug 17 2016

    @Charlotte , Bangalore / chicago . You may have your own set of opinions but that cannot b accepted as absolute truth on its face value . First of all , feminism and pre marital sex are interrelated . With the advent of radical feminists in the early nineteenth century specially Scandinavian countries , female chauvinists opposed the idea of early marriage / pregnancy subverting vintage / traditions .They were also pro abortion , anti religious . Resulting increased age of consent across world ( except the Muslim / Latino countries as they resisted this third wave ) .Enormous funding has been generated with millions of NGO , creating hatred for novel idea of marriage , motivating stray relationships . Yes , education is important , be it boy or girl BUT not at the expense of moral / ethical / cultural abyss .

    Most of comments which r against me here not aware of rising nuisance of this and utterly will b shocked if it happens with them . If I be parent , I will b equally worried about her casual flings as much as her education . Abortions / aids / intercaste marriages comes at this expenses
    Equally nothing to b personal with , and my comments r pitted against misandry / female chauvinism . Sharia is already exist Islamic countries , nothing to do with my single hood or any impunity against popular opinion .

    Agree [2]

  • Charlotte, Bangalore/Chicago

    Wed, Aug 17 2016

    Mr Braganza:

    As the mother of a daughter and a woman who believes in equal rights for men and women, I find your comments extremely offensive, but you do have the right to your opinion. However when you publish your opinion, expect other opinions in return.

    I want my daughter to focus on her studies and create a career that she can be proud off! I want the same for my sons as well. You are equating feminism with premarital sex and other nonsense, which is not the case. Women have always had to fight for their right to vote, right to property, right to live their lives just like their male counterparts and I am not sure of what you have against it. Why is getting girls married off at puberty, a solution? Both males and females should be mature to consider marriage which is a partnership between husband and wife. You have said that a a boy should expect his bride to be a virgin? Does the rule not apply the other way as well? I fail to understand the rationale behind your argument. The fact that you support Sharia law indicates that you have been burned by some prior experience involving women. I am sorry for you but hope you can seek help, rather than continue to spout nonsense.

    Agree [15]

  • Simon D'Souza, Mangalore

    Wed, Aug 17 2016

    In between the age of 8-17 the adolescent pregnancy and post puberty is absolutely not safe and asserting it as complicate is not a propaganda but it is enforced by the religious leaders. Consult a doctor as it is medically proven.
    Gonsalves sir is right. Early marriage is a bad suggestion. To women age 18 and for men age 20 is an ideal age for marriage.

    Agree [2]

  • Roshan Braganza, Mumbai

    Tue, Aug 16 2016

    @Sandhya , Mumbai/ Dubai . The exact word should be " they do not deserve each other " , rather than " there is no love ". A companionship mandates no secrets and absolute openness about each others preferences . A boy marries a girl , often finds himself cheated when her all previous affairs comes out of closet and vice versa . Marriage is not instantaneous / spontaneous event but rather life time , a marital vows starts from ones birth . The love should show up with commitment of abstinence from sex till marriage , this shows how serious he or she with prospective partner . Anything beyond this is mere arrangement and nothing else . Religion plays significant part since it carries pristine value of marriage and aftermath of it .

    Agree [6]

  • David Pais, Mangalore

    Tue, Aug 16 2016

    @sam, world,
    exactly right. the Lord's teaching is good. divorce & marry is not men and women goal in life.my proposal is marry at 18 & settle in life w/o divorce. age 18 is correct age women to marry.

    Agree [2]

  • David Pais, Mangalore

    Tue, Aug 16 2016

    @Roshan Braganza, Mumbai,
    jews and pharisees brought a women caught in adultery. Jesus threw a question jews and pharisees among you did not sinned cast your first stone at her. nobody cast stone at her. why jesus did not punish the women as Jesus was born sinless.

    Agree [5]

  • Sandhya, Dubai / Mangalore/ Mumbai

    Tue, Aug 16 2016

    I am extremely delighted with all the comments. Thank you for your encouragements it helps me do better and thank you for your criticisms it helps me put out my best. All I would like to say is how is marriage become a matter of religion all of a sudden. Nobody wants to talk about companionship, about love and the beauty of the relationship- thus I say, “I can’t see love anymore”

    For a matter of fact - I love my lord, but now most of you will judge me on with reference to my faith. GO AHEAD!

    Agree [7]

  • Roshan Braganza, Mumbai

    Tue, Aug 16 2016

    @Joseph Gonsalves , Bannur / Puttur . The increased abortion is due to delayed marriages / stray intimacies . Both promotes #MyChoice attitude in girls , which goes against ethics of society . Coming to sharia wisdom , its not man made but proclaimed by Archangel Gabriel and petted as wisest . So what religious leaders preach is the actual implementation of it , but on flip side we Christians allow amendments to satisfy pro feminist groups , which is costing us .

    And as far as black / blue coat , do understand chastity / hymen is the virtue of bride , not the groom . If at all forced abuse is there , its not a SIN but consensual pre marital sex is . If bride is not a VIRGIN and dresses white , it signifies nothing and cheating / fraud on her prospective husband .

    Agree [1]

  • Roshan Braganza, Mumbai

    Tue, Aug 16 2016

    @Joseph Gonsalves , Bannur , Puttur . You are not getting crux of problem , girls getting puberty very early now a days and pre marital sex is becoming very common . The cultural or religious values set up will not work since temptations are too strong to resist . You said , at 18 girl complete education , but did you ever had a thought of what happens in campuses , the survey might shock you . See , age is not bottom line here but abstinence from sex till marriage . How many girls practise it , so being practical early marriage upon puberty is the only way you can counter nuisance . Or else they can stray with dangers of Aids / abortion . Remember there is no safe sex , but the marriage itself which is safe .

    The age of Mother Mary at the time of marriage is clearly mentioned as between 12 to 14 , in APOCRYPHAH OF JAMES and Infancy gospel of James ( protevangeliancy of James ) . The age of Joseph mentioned as between 70 to 90 . Remember even now in Jewish culture its 14 as the age of marriage for girls . You talk about Yemen , Syria but the issue here is about ethnic / religious conflict , not related to matrimony . Even texas , united states its 14 . European countries too have as low as 14 . If you talk about Muslim countries , check IRAN which has very less divorce rates . Reason being simple , they have kept very low age of marriage according to their religious customs . Read the books by Ayatollah , and how he countered western casino propaganda in 60's , mandating pristine sharia

    Agree [2]

  • sam, world

    Tue, Aug 16 2016

    @David Pais, Mangalore
    David Pais “After marrying at the early age why there is a massive number of divorces and adultery. What is the guarantee?”
    - Should a person still divorce their spouse or commit adultery and commit sin, with or without guarantee of fidelity?
    - If the dangers of sin are not preached or taught, should a person still commit it?
    - What are Our Lord's teaching on adultery and divorce? Can that ever be changed or weakened to suit the whims of man?

    Agree [1]

  • wilston, Panja

    Mon, Aug 15 2016

    Marriage is a outdated institute. Marriage is the root cause of all the problems on earth. Its high time marriage should disappear. Only love shall prevail.

    Agree [6]

  • Joseph F. Gonsalves, Bannur, Puttur / Mangalore

    Mon, Aug 15 2016

    Opinion on marriage varied.
    Love of boy and girl daunting task is buried.

    Growing loud around us is a crowd.
    A woman is your mother why delivered girl not bothered.

    From parents arise doubts in their daughters.
    For few unreliable matters threw herself to the waters.

    Women are not rebellious as much as men are rebellious.
    Love each other succeeds marriage forgive and forget fetches billions.

    Heartless, mindless and isolated life is devils temptations.
    Evil provokes loneliness and emptiness women in frustrations.

    Life is sweet, God doesn’t cheat, love each other God will meet.
    Your life’s story with family and children for them is your hearts beat.
    When wife and husband meet, hearts beat God with us He is great.
    God bless couples prepare food in kitchen break and eat the bread of wheat.

    Agree [10]

  • David Pais, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 14 2016

    @ Roshan Braganza, Mumbai
    After marrying at the early age why there is a massive number of divorces and adultery.
    What is the guarantee?

    Agree [6]

  • Joseph F. Gonsalves, Bannur, Puttur / Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 14 2016

    Dear Roshan Braganza, Mumbai
    Continued from below:

    Concerning to Boys, Men are raping boys. Did you hear. I suppose you didn’t
    Do you mean that Boy is not virgin and that is the reason he is wearing black suit or blue suit. Why can’t he wear white suit.

    Wearing of white will not keep any person pure or out of sin.
    Humans are sinners. Soloman build the temple and asked God: 2 Chronicles 1 -36 If they sin against thee, (for there is no man which sinneth not,).

    Do you advocate abortion???

    Agree [6]

  • Joseph F. Gonsalves, Bannur, Puttur / Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 14 2016

    Dear Roshan Braganza, Mumbai
    Continued from below:
    You speak about strict laws – and you know what is going on in the world through enforcement of religious men made laws in Iraq, Syria, and northern Nigeria and rest of the world religiously adhered laws.
    SHOW ME ONE VERSE FROM THE WHOLE OF THE HOLY BIBLE WHERE DID IT SAY MARY, MOTHER OF JESUS WAS MARRIED AT THE AGE OF 12 SO THAT I CAN BELIEVE YOUR ARGUMENT.

    People are presuming. Presumptions and assumptions are not working and are not Gods wisdom and knowledge to implement. Continued…

    I quote yours: ( as it curtails their sexual freedom ) Unquote. IRRELEVENT

    As I have clered in my previous comment there are accidental and immature wisdom of women pregnancy were very limited and they regretted for early pregnancy.
    Concerning to complications of early marriage.

    See the statistics of early marriages in Yemen.

    I quote yours: I will b happy if she marries at very early age rather than sexing around in schools / colleges and bringing shame to herself and family . Unquote.

    You will be happy if, if shows you are absolutely not sure to prevent her from marrying at the later stage. At the earlier stage women are not consenting to marry.

    Agree [6]

  • Joseph F. Gonsalves, Bannur, Puttur / Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 14 2016

    Dear Roshan Braganza, Mumbai,
    As one below comment says age 18 is not a delayed age. It is exactly a correct age for marriage. At 18th she completes here P.U.C., Strength for a women in body mind and soul develops well at the age of 18 and that is the minimum age limit agreed by almost majority of the people. From the maturity 9-18 a women needs physical growth for herself in mind, body and soul. PRIOR TO GIVING BIRTH A WOMAN’S HIPS MUST BE PROPERLY EXPANDED FOR WHICH IT TAKES TIME. If not the women is enforcing her body which endangers to herself.
    I quote yours: Cannon Laws, they were as strict, conservative, wisdom and full as sharia. Unquote.

    I have cleared you that we are not speaking about shariah laws here. Religious men made laws have no wisdom and are irrelevant to follow divinely.
    We Christians are to adhere to the government laws as well as God’s commandments.
    Give to God what belongs to God and Give to emperor what belongs to emperor.
    Here it says both the tithe to God and to emperor as well as adhering of Gods commandments and the emperor’s laws not manmade religious leader’s laws and commandments.

    In between the age of 8-17 the adolescent pregnancy and post puberty is absolutely not safe and asserting it as complicate is not a propaganda but it is enforced by the religious leaders. Consult a doctor as it is medically proven.
    continued...

    Agree [7]

  • Zeitgeist, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 14 2016

    We are all the descendants of an unbroken lineage starting from the very first organism more than 3 billion years ago. Non of them had a thinking ability as ours. And then we begin to think and now decide to think whether to procreate or no. If decide not to... BOOM.... there goes all the hard work our ancestors put into... ending the lineage.

    Agree [1]

  • Zeitgeist, Mangalore

    Sun, Aug 14 2016

    Roshan,

    How did you come to a conclusion that girls getting married at a earlier age will prevent them from going astray. All you will be doing is passing on the issue that you claim that is faced by the girls family on to the husband. The problem would still persist. will it not?

    Agree [2]

  • Melita DSouza, Mangalore/ UAE

    Sun, Aug 14 2016

    Of course you should not get married
    Shrug away the burden you have carried

    Not every woman is born a wife
    Such is the way of life

    This world has many norms and rules
    Those who do not conform are called fools

    Varied and dire are the consequences writ
    If you don’t follow them you may as well quit

    Chin up my dear and your shoulders square
    There is no horse to which you are mare

    Your life is yours and live it well
    It is you for whom doth toll that bell

    Maternal instincts do not come with breasts and a uterus
    It’s absence doesn’t mean a woman is ferrous

    Let no one decide the path you walk
    And discourage your spirit with their idle talk

    Be brave, be strong, have faith in your choices
    As for the rest, heed no more to their raucous voices

    Agree [23]

  • Roshan Braganza, Mumbai

    Sun, Aug 14 2016

    Talking about cannon laws , they were as strict , conservative , wisdom full as Sharia but church amended it and made it feminist friendly . Till about start of nineteenth century polygamy was legal in the church but banned it to satisfy women right groups . Even we , Christians never contested with government to over ride cannon over secular laws . That's the reason we are forced to follow secular laws , now look at at sharia . Muslims feel proud about and never agree for any changes in it . Muslims need not to register in civil court , NIKAHNAMA issued at mosque is sufficient marriage certificate . But for Christians !? , NO . Its because we lack zeal to assert our religious conservatism and allow women rights to take over .

    A healthy society needs a healthy marriage , the white dress of bride signify purity , modesty and virginity . So how many grooms get these qualities in their respective bride !? . Early marriage of girl is the only option to counter any such evils which is spreading like wild fire . M not against education , which can continue even after marriage . Let's emulate BLESSED MARY who married at 12 and gave VIRGIN birth to our saviour . It was a blessed marriage.

    Agree [2]

  • Roshan Braganza, Mumbai

    Sun, Aug 14 2016

    @Joseph Bannur / puttur . Adolescent pregnancy post puberty is absolute safe and asserting it as complicate is a propaganda by stooges of feminists . The reason being they hate early marriage ( as it curtails their sexual freedom ) , hate children within matrimony but support abortions . Our ancestors got married and had children even at 12 and we still exist . If there were such complications we would not have existed . Still lot of other places around the world girls at 13 and above become healthy mother's and you cannot blame it on harmonies . Here m fiercely contesting , this should b within marriage and not straying around with abortions . Mark my words , if I have daughter , I will b happy if she marries at very early age rather than sexing around in schools / colleges and bringing shame to herself and family .

    Agree [1]

  • Joe Britto, Nakre/Bangalore

    Sun, Aug 14 2016

    This amazing Poem by Sandhya Soans , the headline "Why should I get Married?", the comments are indeed quite pertinent and prove a point.

    Firstly I would like to offer my sincere apologies if I hurt the sentiments of most of my friends if I say that our Indian Society and even our own Mangaloreans are fairly ancient in their views & outlook and not keeping in tab with changed modern society , especially towards marriage ,etc.

    Only women who get married & have children through wedlock are considered mature, happy and accepted in wider society.

    Everyone asks a girl the famous question"When are you getting married?" .Once she is married " When will you have a child" and then " When you have you 2nd child" .

    Indirectly our society in general still believes that a woman's place is still in the kitchen .
    A single woman in our society, or a childless married woman or a unmarried woman with a child OR even adopting a child is still taboo & generally still despised by and large and finds it difficult to move freely in society in most Indian Cities and MOST especially in our very own Mangalore City where most people are still living in their ancient caged world even in this new 21st Century .

    I salute Sandhya Soans for her boldness and admire her courage in writing this DARING poem which should be a eyeopener to everyone to move ahead with a broad minded outlook !

    Agree [32]

  • David Pais, Mangalore

    Sat, Aug 13 2016

    @Roshan BRAGANZA, Mumbai
    A delayed marriage advocates stray intimacies - age 18 for women is not a delayed marriage. a correct age not a delayed age.

    Agree [5]

  • sam, world

    Sat, Aug 13 2016

    @Sandhya
    - why do you want to adopt a child without marriage?
    - what is liberty?

    Agree [5]

  • Joseph F. Gonsalves, Bannur, Puttur / Mangalore

    Fri, Aug 12 2016

    Continuation from my below comment:
    God made Adam and eve and blessed them.
    Christian marriages will have blessings, as well as prayers from the whole gathered congregation. The priest or the pastor prays and blesses the couple.

    In the Catholic community and in few other denominational churches Divorced are not served holy Communion.
    See in India alone how many divorced are served Holy Communion. Pope Francis said to integrate divorced men and women into the churches but denied to serve Holy Communion to the divorced.

    As per cannon law divorced will not be served Holy Communion in the church.
    See in catholic churches how many divorced are taking Holy Communion.
    Marriages are nullified without registering with the registrar of marriages in India. The registrar of marriages office will not ask your church marriage certificate for confirming your marriage requirement as per the cannon law.
    I AM NOT SPEAKING ABOUT THE SHARIAH LAW HERE WE CHRISTIANS ARE NOT CONCERNED ABOUT OTHER RELIGIOUS CULTURES, PREACTICES, CUSTOMS AND TRADITIONS.
    NO CHRISTIAN PARENTS WANTED THEIR CHILDREN TO MARRY AT THE AGE OF 14 AND 16. IS THERE ANYBODY TO ENFORCE?! NOBODY.

    ARE YOUR CHILDREN MARRIED AT THE AGE OF 14 AND 16???!!!

    We can write many thing by thinking, the question is are we practicing it???!!!

    Agree [9]

  • Joseph F. Gonsalves, Bannur, Puttur / Mangalore

    Fri, Aug 12 2016

    Dear Roshan BRAGANZA, Mumbai,
    My comment is not to a particular denomination. I am for all the Christians those who are following the faith in Jesus Christ irrespective of their denomination, language and color. In fact Christians are the citizens of this whole planet earth.
    My comment is medically proven. Ask any doctor an adolescent girl or a boy marries in between the age of 12-18 they lack strength physically and mentally. In the first place her womb is not much strong to hold a baby at the age of 14 to17. A girl certainly will have deficiency in body and knowledge how to give growth to a child in her developing womb and how to bring up the child after delivery in to the nature in the knowledge of the creator.

    Of course premarital sex is a sin in the Christian faith which is also called fornication. To become pregnant in the adolescent period and delivering a deficient child or a disabled child is also considered a sin to the parents by marrying at the premature age 15-17

    This is the reason the present society's father and mother should take care of their children carefully.
    CONCERNING TO STRAY INTIMACIES AND GETTING PREGNANT WILL BE A BIGGEST HARM TO HERSELF AND TO THE CHILD.
    Divorcing a wife or divorcing a husband without proper reason is also a sin.
    Marry and Divorce, Marry and Divorce, Marry and Divorce is a great Sin. Where is the love in between a husband, wife and with the children. Marriage is not only an agreement. Marriage is a divine blessing from God.

    Contd..

    Agree [9]

  • R.Bhandarkar, Mangaluru

    Fri, Aug 12 2016

    Ille vichaar karaa...
    Makaa kaazaar nakaa..
    Makaa Kaazar nakaaa...
    Nustha Burge Zaayee..Molyaar
    Kalee Awasthaa...
    Ashenth Phude Gelyaar Parampaara
    Gaavn..Rhaan Zathaa..
    Mogh Kaheen Urthaa?
    Praanyak Anee Amkaa...
    Mosth Difference Aasanaaa...

    Voi Mugo Sandhyaa?

    Agree [6]

  • Mangalurian, Mangaluru

    Fri, Aug 12 2016

    Why a man must marry after the woman has turned 40?

    Reasons are many.

    The woman will take ownership of her actions (unlike passing on the ownership of anything and everything to her parents/siblings)
    The woman will know that marriage is a contract between two individuals - rather than between own family and the man
    The woman will have fewer complaints about the man
    The woman has little or no opportunity to get a separate boyfriend.
    The man can achieve many of his goals/dreams like investing, focus on the career, build a business, etc before he gets married.

    So, marry by all means. But first let the woman turn 40.

    Agree [9]

  • wilfred e.pinto, manglur/canada.

    Fri, Aug 12 2016

    HUMAN IS SOCIAL.THIS IS THE REASON GOD CREATED MAN(MALE)WOMAN(FEMALE)AND TO MULTIPLY........(AS PER CHRISTIAN FAITH)PLUS SO MANY GOOD REASONS ARE .............BEING I AM MARRIED FORTY THREE YEARS, I HAVE MUCH
    EXPERIENCE/KNOWLEDGE, AND VERY HAPPY TOO, OTHERWISE I WOULD NOT. SO,I FEEL YOU BETTER GET MARRY(PLZ A GOOD SUITABLE BOY) QUICK AS YOU AGING...........

    Agree [3]

  • Roshan BRAGANZA, Mumbai

    Thu, Aug 11 2016

    @Joseph , BANNUR . Catholics r governed by cannon laws which sets age of marriage for girls as 14 and boys 16 . Ask any seasoned priest . Though secular laws set at 18 , minor marriages are not invalid . Personal laws like sharia in some judgements override PCMA charges . @Zeitgeist , Just look at the recent survey of TOI and percentage of girls under 15 engaging in pre marital intimacy . Times have changed and feminism ruined everything . A delayed marriage advocates stray intimacies and no parents will like it .

    Agree [1]

  • Joseph F. Gonsalves, Bannur, Puttur / Mangalore

    Thu, Aug 11 2016

    The marriageable age for girls and boys is 18th as per Indian rule of Law. Marrying prior to that age, she and he are binding by the law and suppose complained to police she or he are punishable by the law. A girl can attain puberty in between the age of 7 to 12 which means the menstrual period starts. However to bear motherhood, she needs considerable growth for herself in mind, body and soul without which she cannot give growth to another child growing in herself. Supposedly conceived accidentally or by a juvenile it is regretted and there are very few cases of a girl between the ages of 9-15 bore children and those girls regretted later for conceiving early.

    Take for example the infant mortality and deficiency born children in Yemen.

    Concerning to this article,

    A man as well as a woman needs a partner for themselves.

    Marrying is must unless you entirely dedicate your entire life to your Lord and Savior.

    There are married who opt only one child. They even don't need one child but for the society sake she opt one. Otherwise the society says she is barren in Konkani people chide her as Goddu kaaim kirlana.

    Agree [9]

  • R.Bhandarkar, Mangaluru

    Thu, Aug 11 2016

    Think I should counter with a 'Please Marry Me'..poem soon...
    Right folks?
    All commenting on the right hand
    side of this portal on Mundane news!
    More serious is this left hand side 'special Column'....
    Is it not?

    Agree [3]

  • R.Bhandarkar, Mangaluru

    Thu, Aug 11 2016

    How I understand you dear Sandhya!!
    There are many many many good men around and it is true.
    I was one during my times..O.K. was close to being one...
    Wish you would meet one that would change entirely your conceptualization of a MAN...

    Agree [14]

  • Zeitgeist, Mangalore

    Thu, Aug 11 2016

    Roshan,
    I agree with with many things that you say but you seem to run off the cliff with your comments.

    You have mentioned that age of puberty is the time for a girl to enter matrimony, but do you know what age does girls now a days reach puberty? 10 to 14. I cant imagine a person who makes such a suggestion in the year 2016. Though i absolutely disagree with you in this matter (or your suggestion of having sharia type law in our country) i do understand your point of view.

    Agree [4]

  • Roshan Braganza, Mumbai

    Thu, Aug 11 2016

    The feminism itself encourages late marriages post 27, which is not fair on boy who expects his bride to b virgin , modest and chaste . Of all female chauvinism which encourages single motherhood or adoption, its not prudent since it deprives child of fatherly love . On the flip side , men are not allowed adopt legally and all laws are biased against them . The age of puberty is the time , girl has enter matrimony with both education and procreation for a better society without the evils of feminism .

    Agree [4]

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Title : Why Should I Get Married?


 
 
 
 

 
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